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AIBU?

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AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

355 replies

ExhaustedRaccoon · 08/08/2026 09:30

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

OP posts:
ApplePieCinamon · 08/08/2026 15:21

Why are you all squabbling over a plastic bath that costs a few pounds? How do you cope at home op.
I have had two babies with severe colic and reflux and we just used a normal bathtub and held baby upright. Get in the bath yourself and hold baby upright, or have a shower holding the baby. It’s all a bit ridiculous now.

OhThePotential · 08/08/2026 15:13

8 weeks you say? Surely there’s something else in the house you can use to bathe the baby?

Such drama over nothing.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 08/08/2026 15:10

SeraphinaRainbird · 08/08/2026 09:40

Use the kitchen sink!

Came to say the same!

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 15:09

I'm on SIL's side. What a dramatic OP.

BirthdayTrash · 08/08/2026 15:07

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

Entire generations have bathed their babies - including colicy ones - in sinks. Stop being such a princess. Honestly.

Bearbookagainandagain · 08/08/2026 15:06

My best guess is that she can't bring it back, because she's sold it.
There is no way anyone is putting a 2yo in a baby bath.

BirthdayTrash · 08/08/2026 15:03

SIL has clearly sold the bath or given it away.

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 15:00

I hate petty sh.it like this and I see it happen often between sisters and sisters in laws. Women are jealous of each other a lot of the time. They are also extremely over dramatic a lot of the time. They also won't just have the argument amongst themselves, they will try to make everyone in the family take a side, until no one speaks to each other.

Something small like this will turn into a massive argument. Both husbands will be dragged in. MIL will be forced to take a side.

The argument won't be let go. It will be brought up for years. 'do you remember when sil wouldnt give us a baby bath'

Ive seen women in a family fall out over the most stupidest crap.

One sister and sister in law I know fell out permanently because one of them didnt give the other petrol money. All of the family were dragged in and stopped talking to each other.

Grow up OP, take responsibility for your own baby and buy your own baby bath!

Paddyshanks · 08/08/2026 14:56

Has the baby never had a bath in its life?!?!

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:54

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:52

For a two week visit? No wonder there is so much plastic in the world.

No.

OP's baby is going to have Colic for longer than two weeks right? So she needs a baby bath of her own anyway.

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:52

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:51

i think op should just buy her own baby bath

For a two week visit? No wonder there is so much plastic in the world.

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:51

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:50

You can do both. I've bought stuff for them all but also stuff for my house for when they visit.

i think op should just buy her own baby bath

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:50

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:44

Bought to be kept at Mil's house lol. Yeah right

Every mother that I know gives stuff to her adult children to use. Especially to their own daughters.

You can do both. I've bought stuff for them all but also stuff for my house for when they visit.

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:44

Inertia · 08/08/2026 14:41

It wasn't given to SIL. It was bought to be kept at MIL's house.

SIL took it upon herself to take it from the house.

Bought to be kept at Mil's house lol. Yeah right

Every mother that I know gives stuff to her adult children to use. Especially to their own daughters.

Nighthop · 08/08/2026 14:44

She's sold it.

unospaghetto · 08/08/2026 14:43

ExhaustedRaccoon · 08/08/2026 10:11

DN is 2, so she would be absolutely fine in the bigger bath now. SIL will be having her bath ripped out soon for a shower as she stated “ DN does not like baths” so this begs me to wonder why is she so adamant about not giving over the baby bath? It also wasn’t a cheap plastic thing as someone stated, MIL spent a lot of money on baby things to remain at her house as both DP and SIL are in their 40’s and she had given up hoping she would become a Grandmother. Then we both got pregnant at the same time.

I am in Italy and it definitely is not cheap for baby items. Powdered formula costs €25-€40. Clothing sets you’d find in next for £15 cost €30. Baby baths ( I looked) are €25 plus p+p because we are in a small village in the mountains. We ventured into the town yesterday but it isn’t like England where you can nip to B&M, you have to go to a specialist baby store which is just over an hour away.

My DS2 is only 8 weeks old and requires the support for his neck which a baby bath. Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed. The bathroom sink is a modern thing which really isn’t safe or deep enough for a nice soak to relieve pain.

I get that baby items are not cheap. When staying with family we just bought a large washing up basin and used it as a little bathtub, it worked fine and has even been used by cousins by now.

Inertia · 08/08/2026 14:41

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:36

Im on SIL's side. If my mother gave me something to use, and my own sibling rang me and asked me could they use it.

I wouldn't give it to them if I was still using it

It wasn't given to SIL. It was bought to be kept at MIL's house.

SIL took it upon herself to take it from the house.

Blueseudeshoes · 08/08/2026 14:40

i’ll be honest I can’t imagine a situation where I wouldn’t borrow my niece/nephew a baby bath I think that’s the strangest part. But also if it was such a hassle i’d just use the sink

ScallopShelled · 08/08/2026 14:39

roshi42 · 08/08/2026 14:31

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

She hasn’t said she’s using it to bathe the toddler. The child could be using it for water play/raising frogspawn, or planting marigolds, or whatever. It could be battered past belief and lying in the back garden.

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:36

Im on SIL's side. If my mother gave me something to use, and my own sibling rang me and asked me could they use it.

I wouldn't give it to them if I was still using it

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:35

I think that a lot of baby baths can fit babies AND toddlers into them. They are not tiny

TheKeatingFive · 08/08/2026 14:33

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:29

It doesn't sound like the MIL gave it to her DD, she still thinks she bought it, she owns it and she can say she wants it returned to her house just like I could if one of my kids decided to go home ex with the baby equipment I've bought. I've got eight GC, I don't think I need eight buggies for them to use when they visit. They share.

Edited

I don't know what the MIL thinks, none of us do. But that is an issue between MIL and SIL. The OP has no power to make SIL produce the bath, so she needs to consider alternatives (of whuch multiple exist).

TheignT · 08/08/2026 14:33

roshi42 · 08/08/2026 14:31

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

Exactly, I don't understand why people seem so anxious to defend her unreasonable behaviour. Id be horrified if one of my kids behaved like that.

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 14:32

roshi42 · 08/08/2026 14:31

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

The Op wrote that her and the SIL BOTH have toddlers!

Three months difference in age

roshi42 · 08/08/2026 14:31

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

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