AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

Sorry but I think all parties are a bit unreasonable here, MIL for ‘buying things to share’, this is proving it’s difficult for this to work in practice,

SIL for being a bit peevish about it, and I understand it will be tough through colic and sleep deprivation, but you are a little too for expecting SIL to hand over some equipment that she uses, probably part of her routine.

I cant think of a country where you can't pick up a baby bath for a few quid.

Use the kitchen sink!

Six of one and half a dozen of the other.

You’re all arguing over a plastic baby bath??
I can’t see why MIL bought a bath to share if sil lives close to her anyway?
I’m guessing sil is using the small baby bath in the bigger bath which I thought a lot of people do so a young child isn’t in too much water and she doesn’t want to do without it. One solution would be for the bath to keep being passed between households so she bathes her child then it goes to MIL house which all seems rather time consuming!
When we went away camping and there obviously weren’t baths mum used to just bath us in the sink in the laundry room does MIL have a sink big enough to use instead?
TBH I think you’re all being rather silly! Just buy another plastic baby bath! I certainly wouldn’t fall out over something so trivial!

If MIL brought them for intended use at hers (hence the share part) your SIL could be being unreasonable.

However if she gave it to sIL because it wasn’t getting used at hers the she isn’t.

So it really depends on what conditions SIL was given/lent the bath in the first place.

Nice to see your MIL defending you and DH though.

Unless she also has a little baby I would have assumed that she’d got rid of it or it was somewhere awkward. The idea that your MIL bought things to share is ridiculous unless she’s keeping them at her own house for use there only. Just use the sink and let it go - it’s really not worth falling out with family over.

Is SIL saying she is still using a baby bath for her toddler? How?

Not worth falling out over.

A full size bucket is quite a good baby bath sub. Or as previously suggested plonk baby in the sink. Wrap a small towel around the taps if you're concerned about an unexpected baby head-flop onto them.

Just buy another baby bath, job done. Buying things 'to share' is obviously unworkable

Use the sink … we used to be given a bath in the sink when we were toddlers, and our house had a bath (got to love the 1970s)

Just buy another one or stick baby in the sink. What a weird idea that your MIL bought things to share when you live in a different country to them. Also as the mother of a child who had chronic reflux and refused to sleep it’s not the magic solution you think it’s going to be.

She’s probably got rid of it. Just bath the baby in the sink - that’s what I used to do at my mum’s house.

Don't fall out over such a ridiculous thing- buy a cheap baby bath - life is far too short for this!

Absolutely this. I’ve done this countless times on holidays. It’s a brilliant solution

And the 80’s too. It’s bought up wonderfully funny memories of my mum bathing us in the sink on holidays.

I’m a bit confused that your MiL bought lots of baby things for you and SiL to share, but you live in different countries.

Agree - it's very unhelpful of your SIL.
Now you know what to expect from her and you can reciprocate accordingly.

The sink, a washing up bowl or a bucket would be the right size. However, from experience of having DD1, the likelihood of a bath sorting out the gastro bloating and pain isn't very high.

I'm sure that you've already looking for everything you can, but just in case, do you FF or do you BF? If so, do you eat/drink dairy? DD was unable to tolerate dairy either way.

And whilst you've done it all before, it may be that your baby needs a different position and technique for winding - neither of mine did a thing with the traditional over the shoulder method, but if I sat them forward with their chins supported in my hand and rubbed their backs in a circle, that worked 99% of the time, the final 1% being when I'd cross my forearm over their tummies.

Laying flat in a scrap of water did nothing - imagine if you felt sick, had heartburn and painful bloating and somebody suggested you laid on your back - although being upright in deeper water, supported by your arm along their front, might feel nice when the baby isn't actively in pain (and could help encourage elimination).

It's easy to get into the panic and anger when a baby doesn't stop crying, which is likely why the baby bath is becoming quite such a thing. Take a deep breath, get a washing up bowl or bucket and even if it doesn't help, the baby doesn't care it's grey with Addis printed on the edge rather than bunnies and flowers.

Why does this have to be complicated?

Sink/washing up bowl or a bucket. Tea towel on the bottom of the sink and round the taps. Don't be surprised if your toddler wants a go as well.

One of mine had severe colic/reflux warm baths did not work.

You support their neck in the bath/sink with your hand.

The whole thing is a bit awkward. The items to share were never really going to be shared when one family live in another country, so it's understandable that SIL has effectively taken possession of them. It would be reasonable to hand it over for the duration of the visit but it sounds like there's some kind of resentment on her side that she's digging her heels in over something fairly inconsequential. On a practical point I would try to find some other way of bathing the baby as SIL is choosing this hill to die on and short of breaking into her house and taking it I don't see how you can get the baby bath.

Buy bucket/large washing up bowl/builders bucket/animal feed tub/plastic tupperware thing. Use one of your arms as a head /neck rest and use the other hand to splash the baby gently, or another adult could do that bit.

Have you milton with you? Use that to sanitiser the sink.

There's no need really for a falling outo