Page 5 | AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

ExhaustedRaccoon · 2026-08-08T08:30:19+00:00

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old. When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK). DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL. I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own. SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN. DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it. AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

PancakeCloud · Today 11:53

Your SIL is being unreasonable. You have a colicky baby ffs, you’re desperate and she’s needlessly being a dick about it. I think people who have never had a colicky baby or have experienced severe sleep deprivation just don’t get it - it’s torture.

Feckitanyway123 · Today 11:48

Maybe she sold it?
Or there's an unspoken resentment?
Do you get on?
To be honest I'd just buy one online - £25, if you think it will help with colic - not that much

Drivingmissrangey · Today 11:48

Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed.

Hang in a minute. So he won’t wash his child in the sink because dirty dishes are washed there? How does he bring himself to eat off the plates? Or does he insist on new plates every meal?

YourZanyNewt · Today 11:45

Maybe SiL has sold the bath?!?

99bottlesofkombucha · Today 11:42

Seagulldancing · Today 10:54

The cult of the Italian Son is a thing. SiL is probably livid he's turned up and wants her stuff, as he may well be the golden child.

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It’s not her stuff when her mum bought it for her own house. Sil is being a petty child.

Bristolandlazy · Today 11:41

TheignT · Today 10:47

Who baths a baby in a bucket?

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Millions of people.

Snufkin88 · Today 11:34

I agree with you op . SIL sounds selfish it’s only for 2 weeks . Most family would bend over backwards to help when they hear a family member has a colicky baby and are sleep deprived . If the 2 year old is still using the bath they need to start getting into a proper bath or they could manage a shower for a couple of weeks. They can’t use a baby bath forever . This is the perfect opportunity for them to do so . I would not start a big row over it but I would lose a bit of respect for SIL over her selfishness after this.

TheKeatingFive · Today 11:33

Even if every single person agrees with you that you SIL is being unreasonable, it doesn't actually change anything.

She's not producing the bath. The reason for that, we can only speculate on.

So either you storm her house or you come up with another solution (multiple options have been suggested).

IWasTangoed · Today 11:28

Not saying who is right or wrong, but just to mention my 2 year old was terrified of 'the big bath' and showers, so I ended up using a large baby bath for a while, otherise they would scream. I read it is a surprisingly common. Not sure if this is the case with your DN but it is a thing. It's annoying though that your SIL hasn't explained her reasoning for not sharing the bath. I hope your little baby feels better soon.

MyDarlingRose · Today 11:26

Yes she’s being really weird about it from this perspective. Did you make it clear it’s only for a week or so?

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 11:25

Alwayscoffeefirst · Today 11:21

I think your SIL is being ridiculous and simply unkind. Does her 2 year old even still fit in it? Can’t for the life of me understand why she wouldn’t want to share it and help you out. You are definitely not unreasonable.

As many have said she likely doesn’t have it

doggybootcamp · Today 11:25

It may not be possible where you are but cranial osteopathy solved our dc’s colic- she was really struggling and the day after her first treatment it miraculously stopped. Could be coincidence but I believe it helped.

Promisingtree · Today 11:24

Theunamedcat · Today 10:38

Does he have OCD? it doesn't need to "make sense" if you have OCD

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But the minute his OCD makes life harder for his baby, it should be ignored

ThatHangryRubyReader · Today 11:24

ExhaustedRaccoon · Today 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

The sink will work. Just put a tea towel on the bottom. I would drop it as it is clear she probably doesn't even have it. Might have given it away even. SIL is being difficult for a reason. Hugs I do hope bubs colic goes soon as there is nothing worse than that. So horrible.

Dragonplant · Today 11:24

SIL is being a pain in the arse it unfortunately with people like her there’s no point trying to win. Just pretend the bath never existed and look for another solution

Alwayscoffeefirst · Today 11:21

I think your SIL is being ridiculous and simply unkind. Does her 2 year old even still fit in it? Can’t for the life of me understand why she wouldn’t want to share it and help you out. You are definitely not unreasonable.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 11:21

ExhaustedRaccoon · Today 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

Why will the baby be more ‘slippery in the water’ in a sink than a bath? Don’t be daft.

Bottom line is if SIL doesn’t bring the bath back, which she likely doesn’t even have anymore, you can:

buy a baby bath, makes the most sense seen as you visit several times a year
leave your baby in pain without trying a bath
bath baby in the sink like billions of other people have successfully done for decades without issue.

Yes SIL is being a jerk, but you can’t change that so buy a bath or bath baby in the sink

Original poster

ExhaustedRaccoon · Today 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

OP posts:

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 11:12

Lifelover16 · Today 11:10

Buy a new washing up bowl and use that. If you hold your baby correctly you won’t need a back support - they are very recent things.
or get in a warm bath yourself - check the temperature of the water - and get someone to hand you the baby. It’s so soothing for parent and baby to bath together.

There is no bath to get into

icingonmycupcake · Today 11:11

Maybe she's being so obstructive because she's got rid of it,

Lifelover16 · Today 11:10

Buy a new washing up bowl and use that. If you hold your baby correctly you won’t need a back support - they are very recent things.
or get in a warm bath yourself - check the temperature of the water - and get someone to hand you the baby. It’s so soothing for parent and baby to bath together.

sittingonabeach · Today 11:04

Bet she has sold it

Bollihobs · Today 11:02

AutumnLover1990 · Today 10:42

I must be from another planet then. Your SIL is being awful for not helping you out and loaning you the bath. You're only there for 2 weeks! Why on earth should OP buy one?

Edited

I agree, I can't believe the number replies saying what SIL is doing is fine!! 🤔 Bonkers.

The normal response would have been "of course, I'll bring it straight over, anything else we might have that you can think of?"

She's either sold it or her she's put out just by you, DH & DC's being there.

surpriseWed · Today 11:01

Your DP is ridiculous. Use the sink

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 11:00

Seagulldancing · Today 10:54

The cult of the Italian Son is a thing. SiL is probably livid he's turned up and wants her stuff, as he may well be the golden child.

Show quote history

OP still isn’t up against ‘cultural issues’, the MIL who bought the stuff to share, and both siblings fighting over it are all Italian. OP could be Italian too for all you know. And DH doesn’t want to use the sink because of OCD. Her problem isn’t cultural, it’s just a stupid argument that can be easily resolved by bathing the baby in a sink