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Original poster

AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

355 replies

ExhaustedRaccoon · 08/08/2026 09:30

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

OP posts:
Melancholyflower · 08/08/2026 23:36

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/08/2026 21:25

So you’ve searched the thread for that answer but haven’t read the opening post closely enough to see the very clear answer to why she can’t do that. Makes sense!

Show quote history

Doh! Did read it, then probably forgot that by the time I'd read the word bath so many times! I was reading all the posts and then wondered why no-one had suggested bathing with the baby, so just started scanning the thread.

saraclara · 08/08/2026 23:30

allthingsinmoderation · 08/08/2026 20:07

if your MIL bought the baby bath for communal use when staying with her,i think it should have been your MIL who asked your SIL to return the bath.
I think your SIL seems unreasonable given your circumstances not to return the bath.
On the other hand its probbaly not worth the argument, baby baths can be purchashed for a reasonable price (may not be as flashy as the one in question ) but adequate for the job. I think id do that rather than argue tthe toss with SIL

It WAS the MIL that asked for it back temporarily. And it sounds as though she challenged the initial refusal as well.

Purplebunnie · 08/08/2026 23:29

I don't think your SIL still has the bath, she's either lost it in the move or sold it

disturbia · 08/08/2026 23:06

ExhaustedRaccoon · 08/08/2026 11:16

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

someone on here said I’m “fixated” on the idea of bathing to relieve colic. This is not the case. I’ve tried many things from trips to a private paediatrician here to massage and although there is slight relief, it’s like to try a bath to see if this helps him as I’m sure it has many babies! The only person making an issue out of it is my SIL who contradicts herself by saying she still uses it but then I a mother breath has said she doesn’t bathe her daughter, she has showers.

I cannot get my head around the fact she is so possessive over a bloody bath.

MIL did buy these things for the occasional stay over, and also because we stay a few times a year so she makes sure she has everything we need.

DIL took the bath when MIL came to stay with us for a few weeks, she did not ask and knew we were coming with DS1 2 months later and instead gave us a seat for him to sit on ( which she didn’t like) which at the time was fine as DS was older and found showering fun.

I haven’t made a big deal out of it and messaged her or spoken to her about it, I just wondered what peoples opinions were but obviously I’m being unreasonable for thinking she’s making a big thing of it by texting DP and MIL some rather rude texts insinuating her DC is far more important and she needs the bath… even though SIL stated she never baths her.

Your SIL ia being very unkind it wouldn't hurt her to give the bath to you for a couple of weeks to help your DS

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 08/08/2026 22:54

I think you are both being a bit precious over a baby bath. MIL was unreasonable to buy baby equipment to be “shared” by babies that live in different countries. You are both being unreasonable to make such a big deal over it.

Tbh I’m most surprised this is your second child and you think a bath before bed will solve your baby sleep problems. My guess is DP will go over, demand bath, cause family drama, and then you will find the bath does nothing. You are hanging way too much hope on the bath improving sleep for you all. Some babies just don’t sleep well until they are older.

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/08/2026 22:40

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 20:18

An uncollapsible baby bath can easily fit into a suitcase.

Or she just bares the two weeks without a bath (which she has been doing until now anyway) and just buys a bath when she gets home

Show quote history

Granted, it's a while since mine had a baby bath (27 years....got one for DS1, DS2 never used it because I was wise by then!), but I really don't think they fit in a suitcase. Maybe quite a large one, but it would be a complete waste of space.

Tryagain26 · 08/08/2026 22:37

applejane11 · 08/08/2026 15:09

I'm on SIL's side. What a dramatic OP.

Why?
The bath belongs to the mother in law for use in her house when her grandchildren visit.
. The Sil took the bath to her own house when MiL was away. MiL wants it back so OP can bathe her 8 week old baby.
SiL won't return it even though her child is two years old and obviously too big to use a baby bath.
How can anyone be on the SiL's side?

Calliopespa · 08/08/2026 22:37

TheYorkshirePudding · 08/08/2026 22:13

We showered with our baby from day 1. Beautiful cuddles with water on their back and DH on hand to pass over to wash. We’ve had sit down feeding in the shower too, it was lovely. Nothing wrong with people suggesting sinks neither.

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Or did you mean sitting? That I could consider!

Calliopespa · 08/08/2026 22:36

TheYorkshirePudding · 08/08/2026 22:13

We showered with our baby from day 1. Beautiful cuddles with water on their back and DH on hand to pass over to wash. We’ve had sit down feeding in the shower too, it was lovely. Nothing wrong with people suggesting sinks neither.

Show quote history

Oh 😱 I'd be absolutely terrified of dropping a slippery wet baby from adult standing height onto a hard floor. I'm getting cold shocks up the spine just thinking about it!😰I just couldn't bring myself to do that ...

Calliopespa · 08/08/2026 22:33

I think SIL is being unreasonable if she still has it. A two year old could easily manage for a couple of weeks without a baby bath - if she is even still using it. if it was bought to share, the newborn should have priority.

But there comes a point where, no matter how unreasonable she is being, it becomes unreasonable to force the issue further, and it sounds as though you have reached that point. Yes, 25 euros sounds a lot for a plastic bath for two weeks, but it is not a lot to argue over in terms of creating a family furore.

But my guess is she sold it!

Moveoverdarlin · 08/08/2026 22:30

She’s blatantly sold it but doesn’t want say that she’s profiting and flogging high quality baby gear that her mother bought to share with her brother.

Stinkybooks · 08/08/2026 22:24

Hi op. Your SIL is being an unreasonable cow! Very mean and unfeeling of her. Is she like this generally or just in this instance? As her dd is 2 she doesnt need a baby bath anyway surely - especially as she has showers! Very weird.
Can you or your dh visit and ask (demand!) it back (given that it actually belongs to your mil) Actually if I was your mil Id be going over and insisting she gives it back.

AllTheChicken · 08/08/2026 22:14

I think SIL has sold them/passed them on to others.

If theyre that expensive is there a second hand facebook page/swap forum you could buy a cheap one from for now. I do think its unreasonable for her to not share if she still has it

TheYorkshirePudding · 08/08/2026 22:13

peppergraperaspberry · 08/08/2026 22:05

I would sit on the floor in the shower with baby on my lap and run the warm water over their tummy, they get the soothing warm water and enjoy a cuddle with you at the same time.

Or the kitchen sink is fine. What would be on the dishes you have eaten on that would be dirtier than a baby's pooey bum?

We showered with our baby from day 1. Beautiful cuddles with water on their back and DH on hand to pass over to wash. We’ve had sit down feeding in the shower too, it was lovely. Nothing wrong with people suggesting sinks neither.

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/08/2026 22:11

Olive123456 · 08/08/2026 21:55

Colic aside, was the plan to not bathe the baby for the two weeks while you're on holiday, or what was the plan?

To use the bath MIL bought for use at HER house. SIL nicking it is the issue!

pictoosh · 08/08/2026 22:08

Mountain out of a molehill. Don't use the sink then. Your choice.

peppergraperaspberry · 08/08/2026 22:05

I would sit on the floor in the shower with baby on my lap and run the warm water over their tummy, they get the soothing warm water and enjoy a cuddle with you at the same time.

Or the kitchen sink is fine. What would be on the dishes you have eaten on that would be dirtier than a baby's pooey bum?

Olive123456 · 08/08/2026 21:55

Colic aside, was the plan to not bathe the baby for the two weeks while you're on holiday, or what was the plan?

Amsylou · 08/08/2026 21:55

I bet SIL sold the baby bath

SummerDive · 08/08/2026 21:46

Brokentoes85 · 08/08/2026 21:44

She's provably broken it, given it away or sold it and doesn't want to say.

Yep I fully agree there.

And seeing that it’s MIL, not hers, I think it’s crap.

Brokentoes85 · 08/08/2026 21:44

She's provably broken it, given it away or sold it and doesn't want to say.

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/08/2026 21:43

dontmalbeconme · 08/08/2026 20:12

The item is already in use. It's not available for you to borrow. You're not more important than SIL, and possession is 9/10 of the law. Buy your own.

SIL "borrowed it" so why couldn't she buy her own too?

MIL bought it for her grandkids to use at her house and SIL pinched it, she should give it back when MIL asks and the fact that she is refusing (and her comments about her child hating baths and preferring showers) strongly indicates that she doesn't have it any more. So she took something belonging to her mother and either sold it, threw it or gave it away. She is a thief.

BirthdayTrash · 08/08/2026 21:36

Melancholyflower · 08/08/2026 21:01

This is what I started scanning the thread for, as it seemed the most obvious thing to me for OP, or her partner, to get in the bath with the baby, so thought someone else must have already said it, although it took a while.

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THERE IS NO BATH.

Boreded · 08/08/2026 21:36

My bet is SIL sold the baby items and no longer has the bath

2thumbs · 08/08/2026 21:33

Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed

Partner is in for a treat when a child shits in the bath

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