AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

Yes your SIL is being a bit of a dick, I can’t imagine why any adult would not let a baby use a bath if needed. As others have said she’s either already got rid of it/ given it away and now she’s been caught out or there is some other underlying issue she has with either you or her brother. Babies have been bathed in sinks for generations without issue but if you are not confident enough to soak your baby in a sink or large plastic container for fear of him not being supported properly or slipping from your hands then your only other option is to drive the 2 hour round trip to somewhere with a baby store and pay over the odds for another bath…. I hope it helps him feel better

So a bath will ease colic but a sink will aggravate? 🙄 This is all a fuss over nothing, just put the baby in the sink you don't need "correct apparatus" as a great many comments have confirmed, you are being ridiculous.

Erm, you just don’t drop them. Just like how you don’t drop them when you get them out of the bath. You just don’t drop your baby. And no one is really that slippery - trying to think now.. I think I sort of washed one side of his body whilst holding him on one hip, rinsed, then swapped sides. Two days after a c section too! Then we got a baby bath seat with holes in, then later he sat on the shower floor..now he stands up.

Just pop into town & buy a bloody washing up bowl he’s 8 weeks old he’s going to be fine in that it’ll be clean ocd hubby can remain calm child can bathe & you can relax & leave sil to enjoy the baby bath that she’s probably sold

Your SIL is being ridiculous but don't set too much store in the bath curing the problem.

Absolutely not!!!!! SIL is being very selfish. She has probably had the most use out of any baby equipment her mother bought for both grandchildren at the time, to use. MIL has every right to ask for the bath back seeing as she purchased it for use at her house.
SIL can surely return the bath so baby with coalic can use it, seeing as she actually has a bath 8n her own house and MIL only has showering facilities.

l agree with the others . Fold/roll some towels up and improvise . I’m sorry your child is unwell but why are you adding all the drama ? Your DP too ! She said no ..be annoyed but get on with it .

OP, when I went abroad, over 11 hours flight with my 8 week old, I ordered all the things I needed online to be delivered to theirs. As it’s my mum’s house, she set up a room for the baby who is now 2! We went back w few times and the stuff was still there. It’s only ahead of my next trip I told mum to donate/give away. Don’t be precious, give the baby a bath in the sink or nip out and get even one of those storage boxes if a bath is too expensive, roll a towel to support the head and give the baby the warm bath.
a bit shocked your husband thinks he can just drive over and take it from his sister.
really a non issue just improvise you are hardly a first time mum.

Isnt your sills toddler too big for a baby bath now anyway? I reckon shes got rid of it or why else would she be so guarded about it?

Your SIL is being ridiculous.

I also couldn’t use the sink. It makes my ASD brain hurt.

What I would do is shower with my baby. DD hated baths anyway. What she loved was getting in the shower with me and being held while enveloped in the water and steam. I ended up buying cotton gloves to facilitate to wear to help hold her, but they aren’t necessary. They just gave me a bit of confidence and also serve as a good washing cloth.

I would get in first, have DH hand her to me and then when we were done I would hand her to DH. Our shower had quite a big thing to step over so I wasn’t comfortable stepping in and out while holding her.

@Tryagain26 I guess, although if it wasn’t being used at MIL often (presumably OP doesn’t visit very often if travelling from abroad) I can see how it would happen that SIL ended up with it if she loved it/it worked well for her baby and she didn’t have anything similar. OP has stated that there are other options for washing baby at MIL, just not the particular baby bath she has in mind. It’s easy to wash a baby, you don’t need anything particular to get the baby clean.

As I said I think both are being unreasonable being so fussy about a baby bath! It seems like OP has just got a bee in her bonnet about this particular bath because she read something on the internet about baths being helpful for baby colic/sleep. Which is unlikely.

The drama! You all sounds though you need to calm down. Clean the sink, Lay a soft towel inside it and fill it up with warm water. It’s unlikely to help anyway - so not worth ww3 over. The colic may well be due to a change in environmental factors, new environment, new people and stress. I think you’ll have more luck with staggering naps so you have some rest and white noise of a fan.

I think she’s sold the bath or given it away and is trying to cover up.

My apologies if I’ve misunderstood OCD.

My understanding was that it can be difficult to reason someone out of the anxiety/compulsion even when they intellectually understand that the feared outcome is unlikely e.g. with repetitive hand-washing, simply telling someone that their hands are clean doesn't necessarily resolve the urge to wash them.

I also didn't assume OP genuinely believed the sink was dirty or dangerous, but rather that using a different place to bathe the baby was the line of least resistance in the circumstances.

Then surely he cleans the sink to his satisfaction first? The baby is not plunked into the greasy washing up water with the pots!

My DS has a formal diagnosis of OCD and it doesn't help to feed such illusions. Especially when he's not doing the bathing anyway. Bathing the baby in the sink and nothing bad happening as a result is better than indulging the idea that it's dirty and dangerous and that bad things (whatever his specific take) will happen. The answer isn't for everyone to pretend that the sink is dirty and can't be used.

OP says her partner has OCD and believes the sink is dirty. If he has a formal diagnosis of OCD then her reasoning is not ridiculous, it's a serious mental health condition.

In effect yes as she took it when her mother was away from home

So SIL just snuck it out of the house without MIL being aware of it?

🤣

I've read my message back and know that I didn't explain myself well here.

I was meaning a baby inflatable. You can often get them for swimming pools in various different styles. If somewhere warm or touristy then maybe a boat style may work as a temporary bath solution.

Of course , I wouldn't be suggesting a massive boat. That would be pretty silly wouldn't it!

You’re assuming Italy is warm in the summer? Why would they have an inflatable boat?? Most random suggestion yet

I washed my 29 week preemie in the kitchen sink from when she came home from hospital at 36 weeks she came to no harm and now is a happy healthy and very Clive 7 year old 😂

Actually you are both being ridiculous! Clean the sink and bath the baby in that for goodness sake. Clean it before and clean it after. Simple. Your reasoning is bordering ridiculous considering you think it's going to help so much.

I'd also recommend Google reflexology for colic. That helped lots for my dd2. Lots of trial and error.

That would be (inanely) childish - life needn't comprise a register of grudges

Cheap washing up bowl. It’s not going to be the magic solution for colic anyway but give it a go