AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

It wasn't given to SIL. It was bought to be kept at MIL's house.

SIL took it upon herself to take it from the house.

DN is 2, so she would be absolutely fine in the bigger bath now. SIL will be having her bath ripped out soon for a shower as she stated “ DN does not like baths” so this begs me to wonder why is she so adamant about not giving over the baby bath? It also wasn’t a cheap plastic thing as someone stated, MIL spent a lot of money on baby things to remain at her house as both DP and SIL are in their 40’s and she had given up hoping she would become a Grandmother. Then we both got pregnant at the same time.

I am in Italy and it definitely is not cheap for baby items. Powdered formula costs €25-€40. Clothing sets you’d find in next for £15 cost €30. Baby baths ( I looked) are €25 plus p+p because we are in a small village in the mountains. We ventured into the town yesterday but it isn’t like England where you can nip to B&M, you have to go to a specialist baby store which is just over an hour away.

My DS2 is only 8 weeks old and requires the support for his neck which a baby bath. Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed. The bathroom sink is a modern thing which really isn’t safe or deep enough for a nice soak to relieve pain.

Im on SIL's side. If my mother gave me something to use, and my own sibling rang me and asked me could they use it.

I wouldn't give it to them if I was still using it

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

It doesn't sound like the MIL gave it to her DD, she still thinks she bought it, she owns it and she can say she wants it returned to her house just like I could if one of my kids decided to go home ex with the baby equipment I've bought. I've got eight GC, I don't think I need eight buggies for them to use when they visit. They share.

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

How could she still be using a baby bath for a toddler? They won’t fit! That can’t be true from her… YANBU

You really think the whole world has access to overnight amazon deliveries?

My parents live in a town in Spain. Amazon deliveries have only just become a thing in the last few years and they take, on average, 7-14 days. The items available are a lot fewer than in the UK and always more expensive. The nearest shopping mall with a baby store is 40 minutes drive away.

While I think the OP is dramatic as fuck, I do believe that it is impossible to just buy a baby bath the same day if you're in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

That's baby equipment to be used in your house.

The MIL provided baby equipment 'to share'.

Whatever the original intention was, the baby equipment is no longer in her house, so de facto, unavailable to the OP, so the 'sharing' aspect is not workable.

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

I've got baby equipment in my house. My "baby" is in his 30s so it isn't for him. It's handy to have buggy, travel cot etc as it means the parents don't have to bring large items when spending holidays with us. It's never occurred to me that people might find it odd, just seems practical to me. None of my kids have taken the items with them as they know it is for all GC to use.

I don't think that's what the PP is saying, more that the concept of buying baby stuff 'to share' is odd when the babies live in different countries.

Let’s examine the timeline:

2024
Op and SIL had babies (both are now 2)
MIL bought baby items for her house for both mums to use when they visited

May/June 2026 (2 years later)
Mil visits op
Op has second baby
Sil visits MILs house whilst she is away and takes baby bath home for her 2 year old to use
op with 8 week old baby visits MIL and asks for baby bath that should be at MIL
SIL refuses to return baby bath to MIL.

Why did SIL suddenly need a baby bath with a 2 year old?

You think MIL should provide a baby bath for each grandchild? Seriously?

Sorry but I think all parties are a bit unreasonable here, MIL for ‘buying things to share’, this is proving it’s difficult for this to work in practice,

SIL for being a bit peevish about it, and I understand it will be tough through colic and sleep deprivation, but you are a little too for expecting SIL to hand over some equipment that she uses, probably part of her routine.