AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

She has probably sold it or lent it to a friend . You are all unreasonable , your SIL for either not giving it you or being honest and you / your husband for not just using the kitchen sink . It is really not worth falling out with family over a baby bath , which likely won’t make any difference anyway .

Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed

FGS 🙄 just do it anyway

I get the mother in law buying things to share if keeping at her house when two of her children have babies/toddlers. Makes absolute sense for when staying with her. Sometimes things change, SIL needed a bath at hers, MIL had one, she borrowed it, she uses it. It sounds like you didn’t go to MIL’s expecting it to be there, you suddenly read that a bath before bed relaxes a baby, is more odd to me. How has this only just occurred to you after a google search? How have you been bathing baby up until now whilst away? I think unfair to put her on the spot, if you take it from her she’ll have to go and buy one. Why don’t you just buy one instead? You can get a basic baby bath quite cheaply. Or as most posters have said just use the kitchen sink, obviously just clean it first.

Does he have OCD? it doesn't need to "make sense" if you have OCD

I get that’s it annoying that she won’t let you use the baby bath but you are making this into a mountain when it’s really a tiny molehill. All you need is a tub large enough for a small amount of water and a small baby. The support comes from your hands holding the baby you don’t need a special pillow. People the world over for millennia have been bathing babies in any body of water that will do the job. You put water in a tub, your arm under the baby supporting their neck/head and you scoop water over them with the other hand. It’s not hard, it’s not complex and it doesn’t need any form of special equipment.

It makes no sense that your partner won’t allow a kitchen sink, which is either metal or ceramic and can obviously be very easily cleaned, but he’s fine with a shared well used baby bath, likely made of plastic.

Clean the kitchen sink and bath baby in there. Don't share still with SIL

MIL has let her go home with it years ago, so that ship has long sailed.

Use a sink , washing up basket /bowl. You all sound ridiculous

Yes, I too suspect this baby bath has been sold on Italian EBay. The SIL doth protest too much.

Agree that if she's just moved the she's probably either sold it or passed it on or if she has it then it may not have been unpacked yet if she doesn't use it. This buying things to share wasn't a good idea.

She sold it before she moved...decluttering esp if DN doesn't like baths.... I'd put money on it.

I’d clean the washing up bowl and use that on the floor on top of a towel. How is her toddler fitting into a baby bath still?! Do you think it outgrew it and she sold it?!!

Having had a baby with colic, I honestly doubt a bath will even help (sorry, it is really tough but my dd is now 18 and has been a joy minus her first year so hopefully that gives you hope). Sil is being ridiculous but probably has her reasons and just not worth falling out over. It’s mildly annoying but in sleep deprivation everything feels bigger than it is.

You can surely buy some kind of cheap plastic bowl, bucket or box that will fit your baby. Put it on the floor, fold a towel in the bottom if you feel you need some kind of a support although it's perfectly easy to put one hand at back of baby's head/neck and wash with the other. It sounds as if the whole family are being a bit awkward, rather than looking for solutions.

MIL bought the bath for use at her home. So if she needs it at her home it should be returned. It's not that it was bought for SIL.

So she bought you equipment to share with someone who lives in a different country?! That's sounds really thoughtful and hugely convenient. Not.

The whole thing sounds awkward. Also you say babies things are expensive but then in the same sentence that you expect someone to let you use something they say they are currently using themselves.

Well the minute you said that your mil bought things to share, I thought what a bloody stupid idea, is she deliberately trying to stir up trouble. I am sorry but you can't insist that sil gives you the baby bath. It's fucking ridiculous and entitled of you and your dp's behaviour is absolutely awful and embarrassing.

Do they not have supermarkets there? Just buy the largest washing up bowl you can find, or even a plastic dog bed ( without a cushion!). The baby won’t know the difference.

A two-year old wouldn't still be using a baby bath as it would be far too small. Your SIL is just being territorial and difficult for the sake of it.

Your partner and his OCD don’t need to get involved! Just give the sink a good wash before and after use!

Honestly if I was your SIL I'd be reluctant to accept anymore of these gifts as it seems they they come with a lot of strings.

Unless you're going to march up to SIL's house and demand it back, this isn't helping to solve the problem.

Just find another solution and put it out of your mind. It isn't worth a big song and dance number.

Use a plastic bowl/bucket and support the neck!!

If MIL wanted stuff to be shared, she shouldn’t have given it to SIL

There have been so many simple solutions offered.