AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

I get that’s it annoying that she won’t let you use the baby bath but you are making this into a mountain when it’s really a tiny molehill. All you need is a tub large enough for a small amount of water and a small baby. The support comes from your hands holding the baby you don’t need a special pillow. People the world over for millennia have been bathing babies in any body of water that will do the job. You put water in a tub, your arm under the baby supporting their neck/head and you scoop water over them with the other hand. It’s not hard, it’s not complex and it doesn’t need any form of special equipment.

Does he have OCD? it doesn't need to "make sense" if you have OCD

I get the mother in law buying things to share if keeping at her house when two of her children have babies/toddlers. Makes absolute sense for when staying with her. Sometimes things change, SIL needed a bath at hers, MIL had one, she borrowed it, she uses it. It sounds like you didn’t go to MIL’s expecting it to be there, you suddenly read that a bath before bed relaxes a baby, is more odd to me. How has this only just occurred to you after a google search? How have you been bathing baby up until now whilst away? I think unfair to put her on the spot, if you take it from her she’ll have to go and buy one. Why don’t you just buy one instead? You can get a basic baby bath quite cheaply. Or as most posters have said just use the kitchen sink, obviously just clean it first.

Partner has OCD and will not use the kitchen sink as obviously, it where dirty dishes are washed

FGS 🙄 just do it anyway

She has probably sold it or lent it to a friend . You are all unreasonable , your SIL for either not giving it you or being honest and you / your husband for not just using the kitchen sink . It is really not worth falling out with family over a baby bath , which likely won’t make any difference anyway .

SIL doesn't need a baby bath for a toddler, she's the unreasonable one. How horrible to criticise the GM for doing something nice.

If it was a fancy baby bath and her child doesn't use it I bet she flogged it or gave to a friend....

SIL is entirely unreasonable- no one bathes a two year old in a baby bath and she should’ve returned this and any other newborn stuff to MIL’s house before you arrived.

i agree she’s probably sold it.

I must be from another planet then. Your SIL is being awful for not helping you out and loaning you the bath. You're only there for 2 weeks! Why on earth should OP buy one?

Or a bucket, I’m pretty sure you can buy a bucket or a very large bowl in an Italian village.

And the partner doesn’t need to wash the baby, OP can do it. Let’s be honest, after arguing with his sister about this he’s pissed off and wants the baby bath on principle. But they can’t make that happen and they don’t want to buy a new one so OP can wash the tiny baby in the sink like millions of other people do, safe in the knowledge it is easily just as clean as the baby bath.

You don’t like your SIL very much do you?

My parents only had showers when they lived in France so we used the kitchen sink to bath our youngest and it was fine. You don't need a baby bath. Where are you that a baby bath will break the bank?
Is it really worth falling out over?

But the OP never thought about the bath until a couple of days ago. Why is it the SIL's issue to deal with this when there are multiple easy/cheap solutions open to the OP?

Exactly

Because it doesn't belong to her and she doesn't need it. The person who owns it has asked her to return it. I think people are right, she's sold it.

Your DH is an unreaspnable arse here. Making a mountain out of a molehill. Give the kitchen sink a good clean and put the baby in it.

Who baths a baby in a bucket?

SiL is Italian? You are up against cultural issues here. Just send DH out to buy a plastic bucket or basin in a suitable size.
Or get MiL to ask round? Im sure the neighbours or her friends will have a baby bath lurking somewhere.

Sounds like this is not really about the bath.

Sounds like you are annoyed that SIL gets everything including time from your MIL and SIL is probably annoyed about all the fanfare for you and DH arriving with your prodigal two grandchildren.

It takes a bit more effort for geographically distant families to keep good relationships. If this is genuinely just about a bath I would just forget it. If as it's likely it is about more than that I would keep your eyes on the prize, the prize being DH's and your kids' relationships with their wider family, and sort it out.

Get a grip, use a tub and support him with your arm. Your mother in law was an idiot to buy things to share, how the hell was that ever going to work.
Don't fall out over a baby bath FFS.

But SIL is being perfectly reasonable? Don't think so. The way people on here will twist anything to excuse unreasonable women and blame men.

This thing about MIL buying stuff to share when you live in different countries is obviously total fiction. In effect she has given the baby bath to SIL, and if her child needs it that's fine.

If you really think that having a warm bath is the solution to your child's problems, you will use the kitchen sink. You can scrub it out first, and anyway your child's wellbeing comes ahead of your partner's OCD. However, from experience I fear you will find it isn't the cure you think it is, so you're almost certainly making a massive fuss for no good reason.

Its a plastic container, same as a bath, what's the issue?

My mother, for one. There's a picture of me being bathed in a big bucket as a baby when on holiday with relatives. This is not a big deal.

Agree