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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect the host to keep her own bedroom?

195 replies

oopsiedaisies123 · 08/08/2026 09:29

The situation:

friend A has second home. Friend B has come to stay. Friend B has two young kids aged 2-5.

friends A’s bedroom has a super king. The other room is the spare room but only has a small double.

friend A’s new bf is coming to stay.

YANBU: friend A should gives up her bedroom and stays with new boyfriend in spare room on small double so friend B can be more comfortable with two young kids in super king.

YABU: friend B is ultimately the guest and should be in spare room with her two kids when boyfriend comes regardless as she’s the guest. Even though it’s Friend B’s second home it’s still her bedroom and she should always go there.

friend A and B have been closer for almost 20 years.

OP posts:
croisette · 08/08/2026 10:13

Friend B should bring an airbed and 2/3 of the B family share small double.

JoshLymanSwagger · 08/08/2026 10:12

Friend B has the option of paying for a hotel.

Curleywoo · 08/08/2026 10:11

Of course the Host A should keep her bedroom.
Absolutely ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
She should also rethink inviting B if this is an issue.

FieryA · 08/08/2026 10:10

Chaarlene · 08/08/2026 09:37

Neither. 'New boyfriend' = shag-fest.

Would not stay with kids during shag-fest.

That's weird take! Why does it matter if friend A has sex with her bf? They are entitled to privacy in their bedroom, irrespective of who is in the house.

SunsetDrifter · 08/08/2026 10:08

I wouldn't expect the person who's house it is to vacate their own bedroom, a guest room is for guests. I assume you are friend A and own the place as you know how big the beds are, stay in your own bedroom, kids can always sleep on an airbed if the bed isnt big enough.

Starzinsky · 08/08/2026 10:04

So friend A invited 3 guests to sleep in 1 bed. Far from ideal. Need to make up a bed on the floor for one of the kids.

lulubalu · 08/08/2026 10:00

I have in the past given up my room for the guests, when I was younger and didn't speak up for myself. Nowadays, not a chance. You're not even really welcome to come to stay so absolutely no way I'm going to make myself even more uncomfortable. Hotels were invented for a reason ha!

Secretseverywhere · 08/08/2026 10:00

I’d rather not give up my room tbh. I do think you run the risk of small children weeing in the night so I’d give them the double with a water proof mattress protector.

Bristolandlazy · 08/08/2026 10:00

I don't have the brain power for that, host keeps her bedroom, guest sleeps in until guest room, she can have an airbed too if need be for children.

Loulou4022 · 08/08/2026 09:59

I’d assume the whole point of a spare/ guest bedroom is that guests sleep in it?
We are currently decorating our room so we’re using the spare room, if we had guests then I’d decamp and sleep on a mattress on our bedroom floor but in your case I don’t think there’s any need for the host to move out of her room if she doesn’t want to.

Catwalking · 08/08/2026 09:59

depends quite a lot on whether ‘guest’ is paying?

Owly11 · 08/08/2026 09:59

I hate these threads with friend A and friend B - they are so hard to follow. Just say who is who. Basically if you are a guest you have whatever room you are given (and should be grateful for it). The guest would usually go in the guest bedroom unless there was a very compelling reason not to. I cannot see any compelling reason in this scenario so guest should have the guest room and host and bf have the host's room. The fact that it is a second home is completely irrelevant.

Platypusdiver · 08/08/2026 09:58

Let the guest and two kids have the larger bed. It just seems like the nice thing to do.

user85642879067 · 08/08/2026 09:57

Pedant61 · 08/08/2026 09:46

In my house (not a second home), guests have the best bed/bedroom. It's just good manners. So I would give up my king sized bed to the guests and I'll sleep in the spare room on the small sofa bed (with the ironing board propped in the corner!).

Hell no! If you make ‘em too comfy they’ll never go home!

ContractorQuestion · 08/08/2026 09:57

These posts where someone attempts to keep it neutral by referring to A, B, C, etc are just irritating and inevitably the letters get mixed up, as here.

If this is really your friend, the bed arrangements are none of your business! If it’s you, why not just say so, none of us know you.

FWIW, I think a double is big enough for one adult and two very small children.

PiggieWig · 08/08/2026 09:57

A double for a mum and two small kids is fine. One in with mum and the other in a travel cot or airbed.

SpottyPyjama · 08/08/2026 09:56

The host keeps their own room and the guest gets the guest room. The guest can use an airbed if needed.

jeaux90 · 08/08/2026 09:55

Guests in the spare.

Sparkletastic · 08/08/2026 09:54

B in the spare

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 08/08/2026 09:54

I think a small double bed is not big enough for an adult and 2 children. Nor is it big enough for a couple. So it doesn't solve the problem if person A gives up their room. One or both of the DC need a mattress or mat.

Happytaytos · 08/08/2026 09:54

Host keeps their room.

VegQueen · 08/08/2026 09:53

I would personally give up my room for guests if they needed the space. But I wouldn’t be upset if someone I visited didn’t do the same.

parietal · 08/08/2026 09:52

Kids get airbeds on the floor - v cheap from Argos etc. host gets her big bed in her normal room.

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 08/08/2026 09:51

I wouldn’t give my bedroom up for a guest at all, bedrooms are private so guest room only

backformoreofthesame · 08/08/2026 09:50

B shouldn’t ask or imply that B should have the bigger room but if A offers then that would also be fine