Life admin / mental load - let’s have your outsourcing inspiration!

Are the meals genuinely edible after 5 days? I always felt meal prepping or batch cooking sound great in theory or for people who aren't naturally picky eaters but they never work in real life when you have children and also like to be militant about food safety. I cannot imagine a 6 year old coming home and willingly eating 6 days old soggy broccoli that's been sitting next to 5 day old salmon in a box in the fridge. If the meals are frozen and you have to prepare fresh sides then that's almost as much faff as making it all from scratch.

We could all clean our own windows
wash our own cars
clean our own house
maintain our own gardens
clean our own bins
walk our own dogs...

some posters will do that
Many of us pay someone else to do it. How is that "goady"?

People pay for Fresh etc subscription, there's nothing in there they couldn't do themselves?

Dont know why so many people post about how hard life is these days and about mental health. Everyone should think themselves lucky they dont have to drink dirty water theyve had to collect themselves or lose half their kids to disease or wash the few items of clothing they possess in the river. I could go on.

Niles is livid. He'll just have to re-season his crepe pans himself this year.

Everyone has things in life they need to do though like making meals, cleaning, organising appointments. @Countrysu is goady. £100 a week for some batch cooking that she could fo herself.

Off topic but can you tell me more about your private chef, it’s something I’m interested in.
where do they cook, are they insured, how do they charge and what sort of meals ? X

I think it’s the word inspiration that is probably making this feel off

outsourcing suggestions would be less emotive

because “hey let’s throw money at the problem “ doesn’t feel very inspired

why is it "tone deaf"? If it's called outsourcing, it's obvious there will be a cost and it's not a bargain hack.

It's in YABU, not in a "surviving under the poverty line" section. It's people talking, not trying to rub anything in people's nose.

You have threads about private schools, family luxury holidays, best dress for under £500. Some people have more money than others. That's life.

Bet Niles is jealous

They exist. Urban PA who deal with everything from sorting your photos, booking your holidays or managing your birthdays or sorting your receipts to get your tax return ready.

that you can employ for 2 hours for a specific task, or on a daily/ weekly basis

There are a lot of businesses doing exactly that.

I would love a housekeeper to run things for us. Possibly also a butler called Willikins!

Never leave a room empty handed. I wish I had inculcated this into DH earlier on.

I think stop calling it "mental load" and making a big drama about it is key for a start.

You brush your teeth every morning, you clean your face. That's life, you don't need to put a reminder and add it to your list.

You sit down a couple of mornings or evenings a week and you deal with admin.
Or people start calling booking a holiday or planning their birthday a dreadful chore.

I agree with splitting things and letting the other one manage without checking, complaining it's not done YOUR way.

I don't think you can ever really pay someone to pick up the mental load. Even if paying for a cleaner/chef then someone (usually the woman) has to stay aware of the task, tracked whether it's done, paid for, ingredients provided etc.

The solution is to work with your partner to share it out between you.

I like little 5 minute chunks of time that can make a difference. Its called piggybacking.
When I brush my teeth I wash the sink, when I bathe my children I'll clean the bathroom whilst I chat to them. Waiting for the kettle clean the sides.

I always do this

In general, I recommend not scrimping on childcare (obviously unless you are on the breadline and really can't afford it), I see so many people on here stressed out because they are trying to combine WFH and childcare or go for the club that finishes at 4 rather than pay for extended hours, etc. We properly outsource childcare for our working hours and we are all happier as a result. It's nicer for the kids to feel like once they're home, we are available to them.

This. This is key.

The other stuff i dont find hard. I enjoy cooking. I have a very good memory so i dont find it difficult to just remember tasks that need doing etc, paying for clubs, filling in the hockey form, booking the vaccine appointment etc. In fact i get annoyed at work when people want to use 15 apps to track x and remind about y because for me, filling in the reminder app is just time I dont need to spend & the license for it is wasted money

I never understand the issue with all this. Me and DH just split tasks, work together etc. It’s just basic things. I couldn’t tell you the last time I cooked an actual meal as he does it all, plans and does the online shop. Equally beyond him doing a bit of hoovering he never cleans because I enjoy that. My ironed clothes magically appear each weekend (it’s not magic, he irons them) for me. Etc etc etc etc

I never understand this life admin/mental load guff. Your car insurance needs renewing every year? Wow - who knew!

Your son is going camping with Cubs? Just follow the packing list kindly provided by the leader.

this.

what an embarrassingly tone deaf thread.

I'm not in a position to throw money at any area of my life so many of these suggestions will be useless to many of us.

I like little 5 minute chunks of time that can make a difference. Its called piggybacking.
When I brush my teeth I wash the sink, when I bathe my children I'll clean the bathroom whilst I chat to them. Waiting for the kettle clean the sides.

What me and my husband do in the evenings is combine a job with a background programme or chatting together so it's less boring. Last night we sorted out the bathroom cupboards all the over due empty bottles etc whilst watching Clarksons farm. Just makes it feel less of a boring evening. We Decorate this way too we refurbished the kitchen in December with stranger things on in the background. If we are alone we listen to podcasts. Certainly makes painting more bearable. Maybe it's a adhd thing but helps us stay on task.

Is it any different to threads asking about which car to buy or where to go on holiday. Not everyone can afford cars and holidays either

I'm too poor for this thread 😅

We hired a butler called Ferguson a few months ago. He's amazing and has taken a huge mental load off my mind.

He does the housework, answers the door, runs me a bath, and the other day he organised a beautiful soiree to help me charm my opera board members.

I dont know how I coped without him

Have a shared calendar. It always surprises me when people say they don't know when their DH has time off, or if their DH doesn't know when their children are off school, have parties etc. It also means if someone is surprised the other isn't home they can easily check the calendar and see oh they must be at xyz.
Also use the calendar for reminders.

I’ve considered setting up a business that takes on life admin - finding builders, plumbers etc on your behalf so you just call us and we do the rest (a bit like an estate agent), taking on the insurance renewals, booking your car in for its MOT etc. a bit like a life PA.