AIBU to feel hurt after being called lazy over housework?

Do as much as he does for a week and then see what happens.

Do the school run but but the rest of the time stop doing anything else, when he complains point out you work and your working hours and 9-5. You start early to allow you to do the school runs, and I suppose you could do bits in your lunch hour, but that’s it

When the kids get home if they interrupt send them to him, and give him a list of jobs to do when he gets home, he can do the washing, tidy the house etc. he needs to understand that if you were not wfh nothing would get done as you would simply not be there and you would need to pay for morning childcare as you would not be able to do the school run,

You work work, you both share chores etc

What a dick! First thing you do is stop making his lunches and stop doing his laundry.

As someone else has said, don’t be upset. Be angry.

I’m going to guess there isn’t a financial disparity between you and he’s very happy having your salary coming in

tell him he needs to go to the doctor because it’s not normal to be so tired you can’t do anything after a 7 hour work day

Sorry, I’m usually all for compromise and working through things but seriously think you need to get of this relationship asap, although he’d no doubt be a nightmare too if you spilt up with him. I’m just sad you’ve ended up with someone like this

U do morning pick up. He does afternoon. As for working and looking after children get them in a kids' club- paid for out of joint money. Division of house work needs to be sorted. U are not the paid help.

Judt read bit about him.calling u into the kitchen. He is an arse. I hope u agreed yes it's sticky snd left him to it. U would be better off without this useless man.

Yes, the house is a shithole etc, etc, etc…

He seems to have contempt for you and that’s pretty much a death knell for a marriage

So .... you both work full time, work similar amounts of hours and bring in broadly simialr amounts of money. Why does he not do equal amounts of house work? Does his penis get in the way of cleaning the floor or something?

I love "I'm too tired to do it". What a weak man. I have worked a 5 day week, I got up up 6am this morning and cleared the kitchen before my 8am weights class and before he left for parkrun Mr Monkey stripped the bed.

He resents you and your job. Who notices that it’s 17.01 and their partner is still working? It’s like he’s clock watching so he can have a go at you. That’s not the behaviour of someone who respects you.

So you’re working and fitting in a few jobs during short breaks and he’s neither working nor doing housework and he’s having a go at you?
The only thing you’re doing wrong is feeling disappointed instead of livid, resentful and angry.

Kick the lazy fuckers arse!! Don’t put up with that shit! Where’s your rage?
DH and I work similar hours to you. He works 6-2. I work 8:30-5:30 but I have a 30 minute commute on top of those hours. DH isn’t perfect and is a bit useless 🤣…but…. He tidys and hoovers downstairs before I get home. He also cooks tea every weeknight and does at least one load of washing a day.
At weekends I clean upstairs.

The point is - he has no respect for you and expect you to be his slave not his partner

and you are slowly realising this

now you need to work out what to do about it - and basically the options are put up with it or split up

Tell him to piss off, if he wants a cleaner home then he can get the mop out. He is supposed to be your support, your partner, not your master.

He's annoyed his appliance is broken. It's time for you to revisit the division of labour in your household and make it fair. He's screwed himself over here.

So he works an hour less than you do per day, has most of the afternoon off but is too tired to do the housework.

Does he have any redeeming traits?

Do you own the house yourself so that he has no interest in it?

Perhaps make a list of hours worked, tasks completed, childcare undertaken, downtime for each of you over a week and show it to him?

I don't think this man likes you.

My ex was like this when was unemployed and I was working full time and extra hours to keep us afloat . We did split eventually. I commented on a jokey Facebook post about people liking my house as it makes them feel better about their own . He commented I was a filthy hoarding pig with issues . Fortunately it was seen by a family member who deleted the post but it was very upsetting. Think you need some harsh words with your partner about stepping up .

You both work so cleaning should be 50/50. You both need to clean on a certain day e.g he vacs up the house and mops up and takes the bins out. You can clean the kitchen, bathrooms and surfaces in all rooms. Or vice versa. One person fills the dishwasher and washing machine and the other takes them out. Write down the chores and split them evenly. Put them on the fridge.

He is not treating you with respect. He sounds like a nasty bully.

WFH doesn’t mean at home free to do whatever he wants. Given you are doing school run etc I’d imagine your day starts around the same time as his. Sounds like he wants a traditional man work / woman do house set up but most of us can’t afford to live like that, so you are expected to do work + house while he does work + half the cooking.

The way he treated you over the spider is really disrespectful and unkind. My husband would never speak to me like that. I think you need to take a step back and consider whether you want to be in this relationship and if you do then you (he) needs some counselling or medication to repair your relationship. This is what your children are seeing and will think relationships are like, I’m sure you want better for them and yourself x

Someone is lazy.
@Lazymummy889 It’s not you though.
He’s deflecting.
And what makes him the king of the house dishing out his demands?

yet another prince amongst men. Stop making his lunch - tell the lazy arsed git to make it himself. And if he finishes work at 2 he should be doing the school pick ups and organising dinner. Jeez 🙄

He doesn’t value you or your job. I would seriously be considering if the relationship is worth continuing, probably isn’t.