Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

It's a hard world for many tenants moving from one property to another rental who have to wait for return of current deposit while finding another deposit. However a professional person on a good salary ought to be able to bridge the gap and still pay rent on time. The request is a definite red flag regarding their financial status, take up references first and insist upon the full deposit being paid and use a proper deposit holding scheme scheme.

Also if the annex is self contained she is categorised as a tenant ( with more rights) not a lodger and not so easy to evict without a court order if she doesn't pay her rent on time. Also has the Council tax assessed as this is also payable on self contained annexes by the occupier, or owner if no occupier.

When is she due to move in?

if it’s straight away then she needs to pay the deposit now. If it’s not for a month and the first months rent is payable when she moves in then I don’t actually think he request is that bad but fine for you to say no.

I'd reply,

"Sorry, as you said you didn't have the deposit that's required in the contract, the room/ space was automatically offered to the next person on the waiting list. If you'd like us to put you back on the list please let us know" just make something up if you have to.

She explained that on her OP. She said it made her terrible at reading people. A low ability to gauge other people is normal with autism.

I would ask for a credit check before you go any further and with future lodgers.

That’s up to you and whether you want her as a tenant. Do you have other people interested? If she paid the full deposit now, you can either decide to proceed or if you’ve changed your mind, let her know.

Always start as you mean to go on as stated in the contract

find another lodger

and always keep money matters business like no apologies, no I can see what I can do etc

@blanketsnuggler the person who rents from you will not have the status of lodger but will be an excluded occupier with basic protection because the person lives on the premises but has separate accommodation to you, i.e. the annexe.

This is a very important distinction because in order to remove the occupier you will need a Possession Order from the court if having given them notice, they fail to leave. I'd advise you check the Shelter site to ensure you understand this, and keep yourself updated with the law relating to excluded occupiers with basic protection.

Few members of the general public understand this legal distinction, hence the errors on here from non housing practitioners. It's a common misconception. This applies only in England, not Wales, Scotland or NI.

Edited to add no, I wouldn't rent to this person they're pushing boundaries and trying to change the agreement straight away. There are lots of potential candidates out there who will stick to your requirements.

some autistic people can't pick up on nuance or see outside the box. Not all.

@Friendlygingercat you are incorrect when saying the person will have a tenancy.
A person who lives on the premises but has seperate accommodation to the landlord is an excluded occupier with basic protection. It's an important distinction.

An annex? Are they really a lodger or a tenant? Lodger suggests a room in your house, that doesn't seem to fit the description.

Get legal advice before renting it out

I’d take the advice above - only I would change the line: ‘I think it is best that we do not continue, so am ending our negotiations now. The contract I have sent you is no longer valid.’ This makes it very clear you are terminating contractual negotiations.

I’d also get some legal advice before proceeding with anyone else to ascertain whether anyone you rent to is a tenant or a lodger and which laws apply to them/you as landlord. You need to be sure you know your own rights as a landlord under the new laws before proceeding.

You need to read up on the law and ask questions as it sounds like you’re relying on good faith.

‘Good faith’ will lose you a lot of money and you might end up in a soul destroying court case.

Whatever you’re doing, stop and cancel the thing with her.

OP - is the annexe fully self-contained? Has its own kitchen and no spaces shared with you? If so, please please ensure that you understand the responsibilities of being a landlord and having a tenant as they will not be a lodger, they will be a tenant. You will need to do annual gas safety checks, put the deposit into an approved scheme, have an EICR completed every 5 years and before the tenant moves in…etc etc.

No - do not have her as a tenant. It’s a huge red flag

Not being able to see the bigger picture. Autistic people can't pick up on nuances ,see outside of the box.

"Even if you can now pay the full deposit, I've decided not to go ahead, I don't think it'll work out."

"As in the contract, we need the deposit before moving in"

What if she moved in and damaged your property etc, that's what the deposit is for surely. You can afford to be picky and get someone great as so many people are looking. Has she got good references?

No way should you be putting ‘sorry’ in any of your messages to her, makes you sound like a soft touch, this is your house and your rent we are talking about here

the message should be ‘no that isn’t acceptable and I won’t be proceeding wth the proposed tenancy at this time’

It doesn’t matter that you have sent the agreement, it’s fine to back off. She’s the one who has changed the goalposts

You could say, 'Sorry but I need the deposit up front and if this isn't possible, the rental can't go ahead. Best wishes'.
You need to be clear and polite rather than kind.

Just say “sorry I won’t be able to accommodate that request, let me know if that impacts whether you’d like to proceed with the rental” or something like that.