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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

42 replies

blanketsnuggler · Yesterday 23:20

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

OP posts:
Floriaflan · Yesterday 23:22

Absolute red flag. Sure she won’t be able to afford the rent in four weeks

PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ · Yesterday 23:23

Unreasonable imo.

Seeingadistance · Yesterday 23:24

Yeah, that's not how deposits work.

I think you'd be setting yourself up for repeated late or non-payment.

AnotherDelphinium · Yesterday 23:24

Have you done her referencing yet?

Depending on the rent and her income and where she is now, I wouldn’t say it’s an unreasonable request.

I would make explicitly clear that she won’t receive keys until the full deposit (and rent) is paid.

Sausagessss · Yesterday 23:27

Honestly I think if she’s already going back on what she said (ie that the deposit wouldn’t be a problem) alarm bells would be ringing. I’d reply something like “Dear X, thanks for your message. We kindly request that the deposit is paid upfront as this was what was previously agreed. Once we have this we will send you details of the deposit protection scheme [or whatever arrangement you’re using]. Many thanks, OP”

Have you had a reference for her?

ThisWiseRobin · Yesterday 23:30

I am begging you not to let this go any further. My daughter fell into a similar trap. Ended up losing £6k . This is a massive red flag, in fact the flag is so massive you could cover Lancashire with it.
Please don't let her move in.

whippersnapper55 · Yesterday 23:34

Do not let her move in until you have the deposit in full. Have you got evidence of her financials and are you sure she can afford the rent? Have you checked her references thoroughly?

dancehysterical22 · Yesterday 23:35

What does autism have to do with this?

OnTheBoardwalk · Yesterday 23:35

Massive red flag, she can’t afford to live there and will never pay the full amount

how is she planning on paying the rent going forward?

Grandslam8 · Yesterday 23:36

No, she needs to pay it now. It’s not only a deposit in case anything goes wrong in the annex, it’s a deposit to secure the tenancy.

Bonkers1966 · Yesterday 23:37

dancehysterical22 · Yesterday 23:35

What does autism have to do with this?

It can be difficult for NDs to trust their instincts due to a lifetime of being told they are weird and difficult. It's a thing.

Friendlygingercat · Yesterday 23:37

She is not a lodger she is a tenant and they have strong rights under the new legislation. Please pay attention to the warnings issued by other PP.

Neveranynamesleft · Yesterday 23:38

Red flag. Do not let her move in at all...if you have this now, it is the start of things to come. Find another lodger.

dancehysterical22 · Yesterday 23:46

Bonkers1966 · Yesterday 23:37

It can be difficult for NDs to trust their instincts due to a lifetime of being told they are weird and difficult. It's a thing.

Show quote history

kl x

Original poster
blanketsnuggler · Yesterday 23:47

Ok. Thanks everyone. I wasn't sure, and was thinking it'd be ok.
So I now need suggestions on how to kindly say no. I've sent her over the agreement, is this relevant?

OP posts:
Happyjoe · Yesterday 23:47

She's not paying rent in advance and doesn't have the deposit? No, I wouldn't rent to her. I do understand though that deposits can be held up with the previous rental and she's waiting for it, but not if she's not paying rent in advance too.

Laurmolonlabe · Yesterday 23:49

Fallen at the first hurdle I'm afraid- you will always have problems collecting money from someone who starts out like this.

Whenwillitrainagain · Yesterday 23:53

If she is in a separate annex with no shared facilities then she will have the same rights as any tenant once she moves in. Ie she won’t have the reduced rights that a lodger normally has. We have the Renters’ Rights bill now - ie she will have all the rights and you will have none. It could be very difficult to get rid of her.

Cluelessfirstimer · Yesterday 23:53

100% red flag. It wouldnt be a problem but now it is? Nah, absolutely not.

Hi X

Unfortunately we do require the deposit before you move in as previously mentioned.
We are not able to accommodate you sending some with the first months rent. As such, I think its best we do not continue. I wish you luck in securing your next place.

Just that is enough. She may well suddenly 'find' the deposit but even if she does the fact she has tried this shows she probably will again.

Franjipanl8r · Yesterday 23:53

Just say “sorry I won’t be able to accommodate that request, let me know if that impacts whether you’d like to proceed with the rental” or something like that.

SusanJJ · Yesterday 23:57

You could say, 'Sorry but I need the deposit up front and if this isn't possible, the rental can't go ahead. Best wishes'.
You need to be clear and polite rather than kind.

Whenwillitrainagain · Today 00:02

It doesn’t matter that you have sent the agreement, it’s fine to back off. She’s the one who has changed the goalposts

OnTheBoardwalk · Today 00:03

No way should you be putting ‘sorry’ in any of your messages to her, makes you sound like a soft touch, this is your house and your rent we are talking about here

the message should be ‘no that isn’t acceptable and I won’t be proceeding wth the proposed tenancy at this time’

Bristolandlazy · Today 00:06

What if she moved in and damaged your property etc, that's what the deposit is for surely. You can afford to be picky and get someone great as so many people are looking. Has she got good references?

nocoolnamesleft · Today 00:07

"As in the contract, we need the deposit before moving in"

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