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Original poster

Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

169 replies

blanketsnuggler · 07/08/2026 23:20

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2026 09:17

Morethanadecade · 08/08/2026 08:58

No, she is a lodger, not a tenant. She will live in a room in the OP’s house and use the shared spaces. It’s not a separate building with its own facilities.

Show quote history

I thought the OP called it an annex, which usually means that it has its own separate entrance and is self contained.

Lodgers usually share some facilities with the owner.

saveforthat · 08/08/2026 09:11

Surely rent is payable in advance so before moving in she needs to pay the 1st month's rent and the deposit. You said the first month's rent is due in 4 weeks, are you letting her pay rent in arrears? Why?

Kimmers4334 · 08/08/2026 09:04

What referencing and financial checks have you done?
It’s definitely a red flag. If your rule is deposit before she moves in, and she won’t/can’t pay it, then she can’t move in. Maybe she is waiting for her previous deposit back, or maybe she didn’t get it back 👀

chirrupybird · 08/08/2026 09:03

If she can't afford the deposit she probably can't afford the rent either, I would look for someone else unless it's all signed up already and she pays the deposit as agreed. Did she give a reason that she couldn't pay the deposit?

Morethanadecade · 08/08/2026 08:58

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2026 08:45

This x 100.

Show quote history

No, she is a lodger, not a tenant. She will live in a room in the OP’s house and use the shared spaces. It’s not a separate building with its own facilities.

AnnDroidAnnDroid · 08/08/2026 08:57

No, I wouldn’t trust someone who can’t get an overdraft or short term loan for four weeks to pay as agreed, it shows that if something g happens in future she will prioritise keeping herself in the black over paying her rent, and she obviously doesn’t have much of a buffer in her finances.

Gwenhwyfar · 08/08/2026 08:56

OnTheBoardwalk · 07/08/2026 23:35

Massive red flag, she can’t afford to live there and will never pay the full amount

how is she planning on paying the rent going forward?

From wages?
Problem is that a deposit is paid in advance are people are generally paid their wages in arrears so, unless you have savings, you may find an advance payment of the deposit difficult.
If she has a secure job, paying rent at the end of the month won't be a problem.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 08/08/2026 08:51

Have you had her references back yet?

ViciousCurrentBun · 08/08/2026 08:48

Do not rent to this woman, what @TubeScreamer has written is the advice I agree with.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 08/08/2026 08:46

TubeScreamer · 08/08/2026 08:23

contact her and say that you don’t wish to proceed, Even if she pays in full now, this will be the first of many such requests in future,
red flags galore.

This

If she's starting this already, letting her move in "if she can find the deposit" would be very foolish as it'll just carry on once she's in situ
Much better to avoid this rather than bringing a nightmare on yourself

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2026 08:45

Friendlygingercat · 07/08/2026 23:37

She is not a lodger she is a tenant and they have strong rights under the new legislation. Please pay attention to the warnings issued by other PP.

This x 100.

Frumpitydoo · 08/08/2026 08:43

Do not let her in. You will massively regret it.

BaffledAndBemusedToo · 08/08/2026 08:41

dancehysterical22 · 07/08/2026 23:35

What does autism have to do with this?

Because some autistic people can struggle with communication, inference, reading between the lines, etc., and getting it wrong for years can make you wary and mistrustful of yourself.

PolkaDotPorridge · 08/08/2026 08:25

Massive red flag! 🚩

TubeScreamer · 08/08/2026 08:23

contact her and say that you don’t wish to proceed, Even if she pays in full now, this will be the first of many such requests in future,
red flags galore.

AutumnLover1990 · 08/08/2026 08:13

I think this is the beginning of a nightmare if you have her. That's not a red flag,that's a stream of red flag bunting 😔

AsHot · 08/08/2026 08:05

RetiredFromExplaining · 08/08/2026 00:29

"Even if you can now pay the full deposit, I've decided not to go ahead, I don't think it'll work out."

Show quote history

This. I don't think you need to worry about kindness, just be brief and factual.

LejlaKapovic · 08/08/2026 08:02

blanketsnuggler · 07/08/2026 23:20

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

That'd be a clear no from me. Find another lodger. I'd also be annoyed that she's wasted my time. Everyone knows you need to be able to pay a deposit upfront when you rent. She's being cheeky trying to weasel her way out of paying a deposit. I wouldn't want to be in a position where I have to try to get her out due to lack of payment. She's not even signed and already causing problems.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 08/08/2026 07:46

blanketsnuggler · 07/08/2026 23:20

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

As someone who had lodgers....

Red flag.

The annex is unavailable and contract void - sorrrrrrry.

seawitchandgarden2 · 08/08/2026 07:41

It is a red flag and I would not have her as a lodger.

Wells37 · 08/08/2026 07:41

Not worth the stress. If she can’t afford the deposit she can’t afford it.
If she suddenly finds it she is messing you around! And will continue to do so.

MyDeftDuck · 08/08/2026 07:36

I’m inclined to agree with pp. If she cannot afford the full deposit as set out in the contract then I suspect you will forever be chasing her for rent month on month. In this situation it would be a refusal to rent to her .

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 08/08/2026 07:26

tara66 · 08/08/2026 06:59

Do not proceed with this person. You can surely see if she can't pay at the beginning she won't pay later on (probably) but then she will be in your property. Don't even start with her.

I don’t think we know enough details, surely we need to take into account the size of the deposit, timing of when she actually moves in, what has already been communicated to her around the payment timing.

tara66 · 08/08/2026 06:59

Do not proceed with this person. You can surely see if she can't pay at the beginning she won't pay later on (probably) but then she will be in your property. Don't even start with her.

MrsVBS · 08/08/2026 06:50

Absolute red flag, if she’s trying this before she moves it’ll get worse once she’s in, don’t give her the opportunity to start taking the Mickey.

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