Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

Why are you calling her a lodger, she is a tenant

I think the fact she bowed out without any fight shows she probably knows there will be no pissing you about.

I do understand people falling on hard times and needing a bit of help. Totally get that but you cannot show you are willing to be her last bill to pay.

Ive seen it with friends who rent houses, in the news on TV programmes.. one kind gesture and then they are months in arrears and it is getting harder and harder to evict.

You did the right thing OP. Well done.

The fact that she has backed out and you are not reporting a full on argument about it with her shows you have done the right thing.

No. Full deposit up front if she can't afford it that in itself is a red flag

I don't know what it's like now, but in the past I let out a room to lodgers studying in the local Uni. I charged weekly rent, a weeks deposit and a week's notice to quit. No exceptions.

OP, as others have said, it's time to be firm but polite. No full deposit, no annexe.

Out of curiosity has your DH said anything about her request, two heads are better than one!

I don't know what your t+cs are but definitely a month deposit, a month rent in advance and a defined notice period, although as a lodger you can get rid anytime. Well that was the case, not sure about now.

No. A deposit is completely different to a rent payment. You need to be able to prove the amount of deposit that was paid either through a receipt clearly showing the exact amount, or a deposit in your account. Someone who is fiddling about with money before they have even moved in is someone who is ALWAYS going to be fiddling about with money.

It will be tiresome and you will undoubtably end up on the deficit side of this arrangement as she bamboozles you with odd payments, shortfalls, irregular payments etc.

If she finds the deposit now I’d still proceed if she’s definitely a lodger. They are easy to get out if it doesn’t work out.
I definitely wouldn’t proceed if she was going to be a tenant with all the new rights they have.

It doesn’t necessarily mean she won’t be able to afford it, it could be any number of circumstances. I’d ask about it upfront.

Oops sorry just seen there is common areas

Just say sorry no, the contract is clear we need full deposit before moving in

OP will also be liable to pay tax! Income from a lodger is tax free up to a certain amount but they have to share your house and common areas. You can’t just call someone a lodger and avoid tax

I would not proceed with this person, full stop. The request was incredibly cheeky and she will be masses of trouble. Once she's in, what's stopping her delaying rent again and again? It's a nightmare kicking people out.

Hello OP, I am autistic and have a lodger (first one for me). I used a company to do the credit checks and references (employer and previous landlord) which I found helpful and reassuring- they also covered the initial right to rent check . In terms of telling her what you've decided agree with others, you can do it writing and keep it factual. You need the deposit up front and won't be able to proceed as she can't comply and wish her luck.

References can be useless as the person referring is often someone wanting rid of the lodger/tenant/family member. Sometimes they even use 'I'll write you a good Reference!' As an incentive for the person to leave. Do not rely on that.

It's giving us the full picture,so she doesn't get accused of drip feeding later

She's not the person for you
She will be clearly be difficult,and you need to say no now

Yes. If you'd read all the OP's posts, not just the first, this would be clear.

What does 'English not her first language' have to do with this?

Then she shouldn’t have called it an annexe in the OP. It’s presumably an extension.

You need to read all the comments from the OP - she’s clarified this. There are shared areas.

Just say you’ve found another lodger and wish her well in her home search.

If she has a secure job, paying rent at the end of the month won't be a problem

That's not an assumption I'd personally want to make, @Gwenhwyfar
It's true that a secure job will make the money available, but not that it'll necessarily be used for paying essentials suchh as rent

send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

WTAF? Rent should be paid in advance.

I agree with everyone else, don't accept this woman as a lodger, she's going to be trouble.

For future reference, rent should be paid in advance. Your next lodger moves in AFTER you have received deposit, first month's rent, and any smaller deposits for keys etc. And the signed agreement of course.
You also need to do credit checks etc. Ask for:

• proof that they CAN pay (eg bank statements, payslips)
• proof that they WILL pay (eg reference/testimonial from a previous landlord).

And lastly, make your autism your friend here. Go over everything in fine detail. Don't worry about being "nice" or "polite", you need to be business-like and clear. People who have accused you of being rude probably just don't like that you are direct and/or have missed some social nicety - but this isn't a social situation.

Definitely not good