Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a red flag or a reasonable request from lodger?

169 replies

blanketsnuggler · 07/08/2026 23:20

We rent out our Annex, and have just advertised for a new lodger. Decided on a nice lady who said the deposit/rent would not be a problem. (Good English, but not her first language).
Messaged her today to send over the agreement paperwork and bank details etc. She messaged back asking if it would be ok to send part of the deposit now, and the rest with the first rent payment in 4 weeks time.

Disclaimer - I have autism and am TERRIBLE at reading people! Sorry if this is an obvious question. Thanks

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 08/08/2026 16:28

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2026 09:54

Then she shouldn’t have called it an annexe in the OP. It’s presumably an extension.

Show quote history

I mean, I don’t know why you’re being a bit shirty with me - I was trying to help. And it’s a bit daft not to read all of the OP’s comments before replying 🤷‍♀️

Whammyammy · 08/08/2026 16:07

100% red flag. She won't be paying you the rest of the deposit amd/or rent in 4 weeks. Get rid now while you can

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/08/2026 16:02

OP. I'm not sure if this has already been suggested but Shelter has an excellent information resource for both landlords and tenants (and lodgers), might be worth a look through before the next renter turns up.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 08/08/2026 15:02

blanketsnuggler · 08/08/2026 14:48

@NoCommentingFromNowOn
I've tried to be as clear as I can. I get it now that I shouldn't have used the word Annex in my OP.

That doesn’t change the fact that posters didn’t bother to read your posts though. I’ve seen threads where OP has posted 50 times, I still read all of them before I give my well thought out and not hysterical opinion.

Original poster
blanketsnuggler · 08/08/2026 14:48

@NoCommentingFromNowOn
I've tried to be as clear as I can. I get it now that I shouldn't have used the word Annex in my OP.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 08/08/2026 14:13

You know when there is a fairly short thread, the OP has only posted five times and there are still people who haven’t read those five posts (well, they read the first one, they just didn’t bother with the other four) is there anything we can do? Can we club together and send them to someplace with no internet access? Get them to join the navy and get them placed on permanent submarine duty?

wonderwhynot · 08/08/2026 13:48

If there initial issues walk away and find someone else.

MyMiniMetro · 08/08/2026 13:34

Sorry just saw that she bowed out. Bullet dodged eh.

MyMiniMetro · 08/08/2026 13:32

No. Everyone knows you pay the deposit upfront. If she doesn’t have it and is unable to get credit to borrow the amount, that’s telling you that she is not good with money.

Cancel the whole thing. Messing about like this right from the start is a massive red flag. And don’t be afraid to make that clear - you can explain that if she’s not even able to make the first payment in a timely manner then why should you trust that future payments will be on time as contracted.

When you are talking about a lodger there needs to be trust. She’s blown it. Anyone sensible would not be silly enough to ask such a thing so early on. You’d quietly borrow the money from elsewhere and pay that back.

Refreshingbatteryrecharge · 08/08/2026 13:20

dancehysterical22 · 07/08/2026 23:35

What does autism have to do with this?

I don’t what OP going to say in response but my thoughts are: we over-think everything. We think that what we are asking is obvious to everyone else and we are asking a stupid question.
Therefore we might apologise first for asking for an answer to what everyone else considers an obvious question.

CypressMoon · 08/08/2026 13:19

Just say, 'No. Our agreement was for the deposit to be paid in full in advance. If that is not possible, then you will need to look for alternative accommodation.'

Lodgers (unlike tenants) only need one week's notice, so if she does start messing around with payment, you could easily move on.

Boringmel · 08/08/2026 13:14

Don’t agree to her request! The whole point of a deposit is to protect you from any future problems. Without it, you are unprotected. Don’t do it.

BeanQuisine · 08/08/2026 13:08

dancehysterical22 · 07/08/2026 23:35

What does autism have to do with this?

Are you new to Mumsnet?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 08/08/2026 12:57

NO.

and read up on the new rental laws and discover if she will be a tenant or a lodger...

TheLurpackYears · 08/08/2026 12:53

I’d say no, but I have previously been landlord to multiple properties with tenants not lodgers, so I’m not clear on the differences in the law.
id Imagine you won’t be short of alternatives when you tell her you’ve changed your mind about letting to her.

Wheresthebeach · 08/08/2026 12:41

Glad it’s sorted OP. Well done on standing firm

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/08/2026 12:40

Voneska · 08/08/2026 12:15

Big Red Flag....... not sure about legal rights with annexes, I might Google it.

It's not a separate annexe. There are shared areas.

In any case it's all sorted and this woman will not be moving in.

Abricot1983 · 08/08/2026 12:32

absolutely a red flag. There are plenty of people looking for rentals, do not take her

elfies · 08/08/2026 12:30

Please don't accept her , it sounds as if she gets away with this , worse will follow .

MrsPottscloset · 08/08/2026 12:24

Massive red flag and sets a precedence for future rent payments being late. Say no!!!

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 08/08/2026 12:22

Reply "that is not how deposits work. Sorry but if you can't pay the deposit in full we will be looking for a different person to rent to"

If she doesn't have the capacity to produce the deposit without it being a problem for her day-to-day living costs then she's too much of a risk and you will have constant issues. Tbh just asking for this is a red flag because if you insist on the full deposit and she borrows it from somewhere, she's going to struggle to pay rent until she has repaid that debt so she's still a pretty high risk

Voneska · 08/08/2026 12:15

Big Red Flag....... not sure about legal rights with annexes, I might Google it.

ByUniqueViper · 08/08/2026 12:14

Massive red flag. Id reconsider as the money is clearly as issue. I know she said money isnt an issue but who would ever tell their new landlord/lady that money is an issue

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/08/2026 12:09

dogproblems1 · 08/08/2026 12:04

Why are you calling her a lodger, she is a tenant

It has been established she is a lodger.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/08/2026 12:08

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/08/2026 09:17

I thought the OP called it an annex, which usually means that it has its own separate entrance and is self contained.

Lodgers usually share some facilities with the owner.

Show quote history

She used the word Annex but later confirmed there are shared spaces and Annex was not the right word.

Swipe left for the next trending thread