Dad being main carer for new baby.

I wouldn’t call her a friend. Far from it. She’s an idiot and a cow.
You’ve had a very hard time. Get better soon. 🌺

It may affect the bonding to a small extent, but it can't be helped because you need to recover! Ending up back in hospital won't help the bonding.

Your friend is talking nonsense
My ds dad did everything for him as a newborn. Cradle was even on dad's side of the bed. I can assure you he's grown up perfectly ok 🤣

Your 'friend' is not your friend. You have suffered a significant birth injury and need to recover. Of course your husband should be doing everything he can in order to facilitate that.

Many women are separated from their babies for weeks on end due to premature delivery. That doesn't impact their bonds.

Congratulations on the baby and the husband!

Your “friend” is utterly awful! I would distance yourself right away from her! Wishing you a good recovery x

Your friend is welcome to her opinion, everyone has them. She’s also welcome to keep it to herself and presumably capable of identifying when what she’s saying is a twatty thing to say. The fact she didn’t keep it to herself would suggest she was aiming to be offensive or upsetting and what kind of friend does that to someone who is unwell and has had a hard time? I’d be thinking carefully about how much you really want her around.

Congratulations on your new baby. I’m sorry you’ve had such a traumatic time sounds horrendous.

im hoping friend is now ex friend. What a prick.

I had a fourth degree tear with my first basically tore me in half and into my uterus. I had a massive PPH and nearly died. I was in ICU for two days after delivery probably should have been longer but it was Covid and they were discharging fast. My DH did the bulk of the caring for our baby for the first couple of weeks whilst I tried to recover. It had not affected the bond with my DC IN ANYWAY. Your friend sounds jealous!

What a bitch your friend is. You’re doing the right thing. You can’t look after a baby if you don’t look after yourself first

I agree with PPs, friend is well out of order. As long as baby is being minded and you still get some cuddles you are absolutely fine. I think there is a lot of BS about newborns bonding to be honest, they crave human contact but I'm not sure of this idea that is has to be Mum, just a loving person. I say that as someone adopted as a newborn. In a more traditional society grandparents and aunts and grand aunts would have all helped out a lot while Mum recovers. Either way, even if it was factual and there was a genuine risk to your relationship with baby then it's still a bitchy thing to say because you are unwell and need to recover.

It might be that she realises her Dh/Dp wouldn't do this and would perhaps palm the baby off to his Mum. Dh was hands on from day one. I had EMCS and honestly I knew I could rely on him so I slept soundly whilst he tended to all our son's needs except breastfeeding.

You have been through hell and for you too knowing your Dh is completely capable of taking care of you and his child is great. It will not affect your bonding and your friend is beyond unkind saying this.

Your baby is going to benefit from a healthy, recovered mother. If you push yourself now you could have lifelong problems. Let your body heal.

Your baby knows your heartbeat. Your baby knows you. Every cuddle. Every feed. They all add up. It doesn’t matter if your husband is the primary parent right now. Your child is loved and cared for.

Honestly🖕them - I am glad your husband has done what any decent partner and father should do in such a situation and stepped up, and been there for you and baby. Ignore the idiot who has made this comment and carry on as you are, wishing you well for your recovery to be as smooth as possible and congratulations on your new little one 🫶

FFS! Why is this so called friend mum guilting you? Why do other Women do this. They are meant to be encouraging men to take the reigns more in childcare.
The only thing I can think of is that she’s jealous because her DH hasn’t stepped up.
I would be telling her to mind her business and why.

This x 100

Where do people find 'friends' like this??

Wishing you a swift recovery OP.

It didn't negatively affect their bond with me, but positively affected their bond with him.

God, this is absolutely it in a nutshell, and the point that so many people miss.

well done for picking such an incredible husband and dad who steps up - this is a rarity!! good for your DH for looking after you and the baby. top bloke

your friend however, is a twat..

She's talking BS. I was poorly after my first, DH did all nappies, baths etc, brought DS for feeds, no problem bonding at all.

What a ridiculous thing to say. You need to recover you’ve had major surgery. As long as you are ok with the set up, that’s all that matters

A so called friend who is adding to your burden and guilt unnecessarily ai. Not welcome or supportive. You do what works for you and your baby.

Of course you’re not, she’s spouting nonsense. (I wonder what she reckons you ought to be doing; hiring a wet nurse from among the village wives/serfs, and a cook to pop in to feed your lord and master?)

What a bloody ghastly ordeal for you; thank God for a competent, evolved husband on the spot! (Too much MN makes one despair of the lot of them) Congratulations on your baby; hope you are healing fast and you’re home soon.

Your DH is a loving dad & husband.
Wishing you a good recovery!

I’m horrified by the thoughtless, misguided comment from your friend.

I hope you continue to recover and heal from the horrific experience you’ve had. I’m glad you have a supportive husband, and of course you will continue to bond with your baby.

Your friend is a cunt.

What a horrible thing to say to you at such a vulnerable time in your life. I had very similar circumstances in which I was completely incapacitated for weeks after the birth of my first child. Thier dad had to pretty much do everything and just hand them to me for cuddles. It has not affected our bond in any way and they also have a wonderful bond with thier dad too. Your friend sounds like a complete cow.