Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

724 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · Today 12:43

Poor dog 😢

not ops fault at all but dog must be so stressed

Skodacool · Today 13:20

Sereine · Today 12:20

The chip database is there for a purpose. By putting your details on it as the owner, you are consenting to being contacted if your pet is lost. It would be utterly pointless having it if no-one was ever allowed to use it.

Plus, as pointed out, OP gave the vets the neighbour's details, so all they had to do was check that they corresponded with the information on the database.

Edited

Also as the neighbour is a customer of the vet she won’t get away with not paying for the dog’s keep.

Monkeypuppy · Today 13:46

Sereine · Today 12:20

The chip database is there for a purpose. By putting your details on it as the owner, you are consenting to being contacted if your pet is lost. It would be utterly pointless having it if no-one was ever allowed to use it.

Plus, as pointed out, OP gave the vets the neighbour's details, so all they had to do was check that they corresponded with the information on the database.

Edited

Yes, it's why it's so important for owners to update their details on the database if their contact details change, so they can be contacted if their pet is found.

A few years back, I brought a small, stray dog to my vet to scan his microchip so that his owner could be located. They took him away to check, and a nurse reappeared within 10 minutes with a big smile on her face to say that they got his owner's details from his chip and had called to let them know their dog was at the vet, and could be collected there. The owners were over the moon, he had escaped through a hole in the fence very early that morning and they had been searching everywhere for him. He was very lucky not to have been hit by a car, because he had crossed several roads while out on his little adventure.

Anyway, I hope the OP is enjoying her holiday and the vet and the neighbour have spoken to each other at this stage about the dog's care.

Noodles1234 · Today 13:47

You tried to help and now it is difficult. I feel for you. I appreciate she has problems but this is unfair on you.

take them to the neighbours vet and ask for boarding, do not pay. Tell your neighbour.

Next time don’t accept the dog on any occasion. Have a nice holiday.

EvieBB · Today 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaggieHM · Today 13:57

Apricotdog · Yesterday 16:17

So you’ve pretended that you don’t know who’s dog it is? You are heartless OP, you have just added horrible stress to your neighbour. I would have sucked up the down payment for kennels. Now your neighbour is going to receive calls from vet and dog warden

The Vet recognised the dog so the owner will be contacted. After that it will go to a council refuge they will keep it for 7 days then it will be rehomed. The owner shouldn't have just abandoned it when she knew the neighbours were booked to fly on holiday.

MaggieHM · Today 14:07

HarshbutTrue2 · Yesterday 18:28

I wish id picked up this post earlier.
I was in a similar situation years ago.
I went to my local animal charity, explained the situation, they were very sympathetic and agreed to look after the dog whilst I was on holiday. I was so grateful to them.

When I returned there was no charge! They are a charity not a boarding kennels. They said i could give a voluntary donation if I felt like it.

I honestly can't remember what happened regarding vaccinations. I would have paid to have had him vaccinated if they had asked me to.

The dog went in under my name and address. The owner was in hospital.

I think it was a bit shitty to dump the dog on the vet. What is the vet supposed to do about it? He is neither a charity or a boarding kennels.
It was very shitty to pretend that you didn't know who the dog was.

The dog will probably end up with the dog warden and may be pts. Personally, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. I know 60% of mumsnet would think that would be an acceptable outcome.
I would be heartbroken if my dog was pts whilst I was arranging my mother's funeral.

Whatever, i forecast an almighty row when the neighbour returns from Scotland.

If I was OP in that situation I woukd have just contacted the dog warden. If theee wasnt one would have contacted the police. The owner has refused to do anything or to arrange for someone else to do anything. She was well aware from the start that OP was going on holiday. If there is a row then OP just needs to show this thread to the neighbour and to the police if the neighbour is stupid enough to try that tack.

MaggieHM · Today 14:10

Sorry posted that against the wrong quote

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 14:58

HarshbutTrue2 · Today 05:47

The vet scans the dog. They then have to check with the national data base, not their own records. The data base then releases the owners details. The vet may or may not check to see if the dog is a client.

Vets have hundreds of dogs and cats on their files. The dog is not a personal friend of the vets. Vets are neither a charity or a boarding kennels.

The vet will try to contact the owner. The vet will not keep the dog. It will go wherever local stray dogs go. After a certain amount of time it will be either pts or rehomed.

None of this has anything to do with OP.

She isn’t the one who is refusing to take care of her dog.

Other people have already said why a boarding kennel or charity are not appropriate.

Don’t assume OP has money to spend paying someone to look after a someone else’s dog - I certainly wouldn’t have that money spare.

So, what do you suggest should have been done given that OP has been busy packing to go on holiday?

allydoobs83 · Today 15:12

If another relative replied to your text,your neighbour obviously isn't dealing with the death on her own,and has family around her. Regardless of your neighbour's grief,she obviously has family around her and if she's too stressed to deal with anything atm,at least one other family member is aware of the situation and should step up.
The poor dog! I agree that you should contact the RSPCA or similar, and ask them for help,even temporarily, if you'd be willing to take the dog in again,upon your return.
Either way,you shouldn't be left out of pocket,whether that be missing your holiday (which you absolutely shouldn't do,IMO) or paying out for kennels/dog sitters. You've been kind,and shouldn't be penalised for it!

DeftGoldHedgehog · Today 15:21

Well done on the vets. I hope they charge her a huge bill for looking after him when she finally deigns to pick the dog up.

CloudyYellow · Today 15:41

tastytea · Today 11:33

I can't believe people are saying the OP should pay for the dog to go into kennels for an indeterminate amount of time - that is a huge expense she is never getting back! Why on earth would she do that?

This feckless neighbour has dumped the dog on her last minute and is now ignoring her, knowing full well the OP is due to go on holiday. Who would be that selfish?

Personally I hope the dog is adopted by someone else because the owner obviously couldn't care less about it.

Also even if kennels available need yo have proof of vaccination and kennel cough vaccine a few weeks before

Alittlefrustrated · Today 15:42

I don't think I could of lied to the vet, but I don't blame you OP, as you had no other viable options. Hope you are enjoying your hols.

Newfluff · Today 15:49

Alittlefrustrated · Today 15:42

I don't think I could of lied to the vet, but I don't blame you OP, as you had no other viable options. Hope you are enjoying your hols.

So what would you have done? Miss your holiday?

redboxer321 · Today 16:07

Alittlefrustrated · Today 15:42

I don't think I could of lied to the vet, but I don't blame you OP, as you had no other viable options. Hope you are enjoying your hols.

What was the lie?

Marieb19 · Today 16:30

Enjoy your holiday. Your neighbour is being utterly selfish and irresponsible.

shhblackbag · Today 16:40

HoraceCope · Today 07:19

i am surprised the op's parents didnt take the dog.
seems a far fetched story even without that detail

Why should they? That dog is nothing to do with them. Baffling how all of this is suddenly on OP and her family because CF neighbour couldn't take two minutes to pick up a phone.

latetothefisting · Today 16:56

I do find it weird when dog lovers (see the most recent dog vs non dog people thread) always give it the 'the DOG is my BABY he is a member of my FAMILY I love him more than most PEOPLE,' shit. If you left your baby with a neighbour for days without contact your child would be removed and you'd likely get charged with child endangerment, either you love your pets and treat them appropriately or you don't, grief doesn't impact that.

How hard would it have been for her to ring up the kennels and give them her bank details and ask OP if she can drop the dog off?

ThreeWordUsername · Today 17:09

Nice of the vets to take the dog in although I would expect when they find the owner is unable to collect promptly they will pass it on to the council warden (who, unlike them, is actually responsible for abandoned pets) when able to.

Why on earth do people think it is the vets' responsibility to house a healthy animal anyway? So many "leave it at the vets" responses. A couple of things to consider:

  1. How would you feel if your pet's medical care was compromised or surgery cancelled due to lack of kennel space taken up by waifs and strays?

  2. Are you happy to pay higher vet fees to cover the cost of kennelling and caring for abandoned pets?

I don't think schools drop uncollected children at the hospital or GP surgeries do they?

Different if a stray is ill or injured when vet is appropriate.

HeCouldNotWouldNotOnABike · Today 17:14

MaggieHM · Today 14:07

If I was OP in that situation I woukd have just contacted the dog warden. If theee wasnt one would have contacted the police. The owner has refused to do anything or to arrange for someone else to do anything. She was well aware from the start that OP was going on holiday. If there is a row then OP just needs to show this thread to the neighbour and to the police if the neighbour is stupid enough to try that tack.

Where I live (Nottingham) the police would not do anything about a left behind dog, they didn't even come out when I saw my neighbours car being stolen off their driveway in the middle of the day.

And there is no way of contacting the dog warden. Just an online form.

Newfluff · Today 17:15

ThreeWordUsername · Today 17:09

Nice of the vets to take the dog in although I would expect when they find the owner is unable to collect promptly they will pass it on to the council warden (who, unlike them, is actually responsible for abandoned pets) when able to.

Why on earth do people think it is the vets' responsibility to house a healthy animal anyway? So many "leave it at the vets" responses. A couple of things to consider:

  1. How would you feel if your pet's medical care was compromised or surgery cancelled due to lack of kennel space taken up by waifs and strays?

  2. Are you happy to pay higher vet fees to cover the cost of kennelling and caring for abandoned pets?

I don't think schools drop uncollected children at the hospital or GP surgeries do they?

Different if a stray is ill or injured when vet is appropriate.

Edited

This is ridiculous.

Vets take in wild animals, dead pets and straying dogs/cats.

It is part of the role of vets. They work closely with the dog warden who will collect from them.

Gloriia · Today 17:16

ThreeWordUsername · Today 17:09

Nice of the vets to take the dog in although I would expect when they find the owner is unable to collect promptly they will pass it on to the council warden (who, unlike them, is actually responsible for abandoned pets) when able to.

Why on earth do people think it is the vets' responsibility to house a healthy animal anyway? So many "leave it at the vets" responses. A couple of things to consider:

  1. How would you feel if your pet's medical care was compromised or surgery cancelled due to lack of kennel space taken up by waifs and strays?

  2. Are you happy to pay higher vet fees to cover the cost of kennelling and caring for abandoned pets?

I don't think schools drop uncollected children at the hospital or GP surgeries do they?

Different if a stray is ill or injured when vet is appropriate.

Edited

Yes I'm surprised the vet took it. Theyre a business not a rehoming charity. There's not a chance ours would, they'd just tell you to contact the council dog warden.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 17:18

Gloriia · Today 17:16

Yes I'm surprised the vet took it. Theyre a business not a rehoming charity. There's not a chance ours would, they'd just tell you to contact the council dog warden.

If OP had done this, mumsnet would have imploded!

diddl · Today 17:32

shhblackbag · Today 16:40

Why should they? That dog is nothing to do with them. Baffling how all of this is suddenly on OP and her family because CF neighbour couldn't take two minutes to pick up a phone.

I agree.

They are already looking after at least two dogs for Op.

That's at least one dog each on a walk which is enough!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread