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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

767 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
AlphaApple · 07/08/2026 07:21

Local dog warden as an abandoned dog?

Give her one last chance and then treat it as abandoned. Poor thing.

crystalego · 07/08/2026 07:21

LaurieFairyCake · 07/08/2026 07:10

I would drop him at HER VET. They will contact her and she will respond to them as shes clearly been hoping you will just keep him/sort it out.

its far more likely she will respond to the vet as they are a professional contacting her with a clear ‘we will keep the dog at a cost of £200 per overnight or get the dog warden to collect it’

definitely the vets

This is a good idea.

I've lost both my parents - neither time did I abandon or neglect my dog.

She is massively taking the piss and grief isnt an excuse for abandoning a living creature who depends on you

sesquipedalian · 07/08/2026 07:20

Sadly, OP, this is just another example that supports the adage “no good deed goes unpunished.” Irrespective of her mother’s death, your neighbour is being staggeringly irresponsible. Do whatever you have to with her dog - but don’t jeopardise your holiday.

ForWiseRoseCat · 07/08/2026 07:18

I don't get this what responsible pet owner doesn't make arrangements for their pet. I don't care if her mother has died, her responsibility right now is to her dog.

What is she doing whilst in Scotland that means she can't take 5 minutes to call a kennels or make arrangements for her dog, she can't be that overcome by grief that she's lost the use of her voice or unable to make a call. The fact she got a relative to text back says it all.

She is taking the piss. Even if you put it in kennels I doubt you'd see your money again so I'd take it to the vets and let them contact her.

Likeiloveyou · 07/08/2026 07:18

I would send a message saying you are dropping the dog at RSPCA if it isn’t collected by X time.

ThatGreenCrab · 07/08/2026 07:17

Could you call the local call dog warden and pretend you found a "lost" dog?

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 07/08/2026 07:16

Fieldday26 · 07/08/2026 07:15

I would give her one last text and say if you dont sort out kennels in the next hour you will call the dog warden. Dog wardens only keep the dogs for 7 days (they will be charged for this when they collect the dog as well). If not collected in 7 days they either PTS or rehome.

Dog warden is also a good idea - I always forget they are a thing

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 07/08/2026 07:16

To be honest I would just take the dog back to her house and message her to say that as she didn’t tell you what was happening, you assume she is coming back for the dog. It’s at home and you’ll see her when she gets back. I’m sure she’ll suddenly jump to action - she won’t want it just in her house on its own for an indeterminant amount of time. Amazing what people can sort when it affects them or a thing they love

Fieldday26 · 07/08/2026 07:15

I would give her one last text and say if you dont sort out kennels in the next hour you will call the dog warden. Dog wardens only keep the dogs for 7 days (they will be charged for this when they collect the dog as well). If not collected in 7 days they either PTS or rehome.

AgentKim · 07/08/2026 07:11

LaurieFairyCake · 07/08/2026 07:10

I would drop him at HER VET. They will contact her and she will respond to them as shes clearly been hoping you will just keep him/sort it out.

its far more likely she will respond to the vet as they are a professional contacting her with a clear ‘we will keep the dog at a cost of £200 per overnight or get the dog warden to collect it’

definitely the vets

Yes good idea.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/08/2026 07:10

I would drop him at HER VET. They will contact her and she will respond to them as shes clearly been hoping you will just keep him/sort it out.

its far more likely she will respond to the vet as they are a professional contacting her with a clear ‘we will keep the dog at a cost of £200 per overnight or get the dog warden to collect it’

definitely the vets

BtwixtNBtween · 07/08/2026 07:07

Can the vet supply you with his vaccination records and advise you what to do?

Pedaling · 07/08/2026 07:06

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 07:03

I’m not going to take him to kennels if it means us paying as I’m not sure I’d get the money back.

You probably won't. However as I said many rescues won't take a dog on the same day unfortunately so you're left with few options. A dog warden might come and get him but again it depends on how busy they are and what you tell them.

AgentKim · 07/08/2026 07:06

Exactly!

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 07:05

Helllllooooooooooo · 07/08/2026 07:00

When you say helped book a flight. I hope you didn’t pay for it!

No. I’m not that stupid, although i can see why you thought i might be as I feel quite stupid at the moment for saying yes to having the dog right before we are going away.

OP posts:
BtwixtNBtween · 07/08/2026 07:05

I too don’t think you’ll be given any money and wouldn’t be surprised if he has been left to you long term.

jeaux90 · 07/08/2026 07:04

I’d take it to the kennels but I assume they would need the vaccine records.

BtwixtNBtween · 07/08/2026 07:04

Be very, very careful that you’re not left to foot any bill.
Have you considered The Cinnamon Trust?

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 07:03

I’m not going to take him to kennels if it means us paying as I’m not sure I’d get the money back.

OP posts:
PissedDog · 07/08/2026 07:02

Can you call the dog warden and say you found the dog? They should collect, scan for a chip and sort temporary arrangements until they can contact the owner. May need you to skim over the details of knowing the owner and them having essentially dumped the poor dog on you.....

Helllllooooooooooo · 07/08/2026 07:00

When you say helped book a flight. I hope you didn’t pay for it!

Lifestooshort71 · 07/08/2026 06:59

Stompythedinosaur · 07/08/2026 06:55

She's behaved very badly. Yes, I think you need to treat the dog as abandoned. Poor dog!

Yes, he has definitely been abandoned and unless your neighbour has other reasons to come home (work?) could well stay in Scotland until after the funeral. A dreadful predicament for you but do not miss your holiday! Good luck!

Stompythedinosaur · 07/08/2026 06:55

She's behaved very badly. Yes, I think you need to treat the dog as abandoned. Poor dog!

AgentKim · 07/08/2026 06:55

She is not going to pay for anything and
even though she is upset She should sort this dog situation out.
I would take the dog to a dog charity give them the owners phone no and say the dog was abandoned.
She has a bloody cheek and its her dog her problem.
If it come to it take the dog to the police station and tell them it was left abandoned and you can't do anything with it as you are going away.
I cant belive the nerve of her not even answering you or thinking its ok to just dump the dog and, because she lost her mum the whole world should stop for her. Hope you get it sorted and enjoy your holiday. Oh and if she never speaks to you again I would count myself lucky.

TheDaringFawn · 07/08/2026 06:55

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:50

I’m torn between thinking she’s grieving and not thinking straight, and thinking she’s an irresponsible twat who has now caused us a big problem.

Both can be true at the same time.

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