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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

708 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · Yesterday 06:40

So just to clarify, you’re going today?

Original poster
CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 06:41

PersephoneParlormaid · Yesterday 06:40

So just to clarify, you’re going today?

Yes. We are driving to my parents to drop our dogs this evening, staying over and then fly out tomorrow.

OP posts:
Pleasedontdoitagain · Yesterday 06:42

What a dreadful situation OP.
I think i agree with your friend and you should contact the RSPCA or possibly Dogs Trust or similar.

minerva7 · Yesterday 06:42

Don’t miss your holiday! As has been suggested contact the vet and the RSPCA. They will be able to give you advice. Sorry you’ve ended up in this predicament.

PersephoneParlormaid · Yesterday 06:43

I agree, call the animal rescue places locally to you. And send another text saying that you’re doing so.
I think that if they can’t help I’d ring the non emergency police number, and if absolutely necessary, because I don’t want to miss my holiday, I’d consider putting it in kennels. But I’m sure you need vaccination history, so not sure you could do that.
She really is taking the piss, death of parent or not.

Londonrach1 · Yesterday 06:44

Text her and yes dog either has to go to a rescue or the kennels. Awful situation for you but don't miss your holiday.

earlyshirley · Yesterday 06:45

Take him to the kennels. It’s the only option. You can’t drop him at the vets!
You will have to pay for now until she gets back to you. If she has an ounce of morals then she’ll pay you once everything is over. The kernels may be willing to take payment on her collecting.
Otherwise put a message on local Facebook pages looking for dog sitters.Again you will have to pay for now but cheaper than kennels.

JulietteHasAGun · Yesterday 06:45

I’d be seriously annoyed with her. After her mum died her first priority should have been sorting the dog out. No reason why she couldn’t reply to your message and give payment details so the dog could go to kennels.

shes lucky you haven’t tied it to her front door with a bowl of water.

Fieldday26 · Yesterday 06:46

I would try and find a breed specific rescue near by and see if they can take it into foster care. I can’t believe her or the relatives think this is ok no matter how much she’s been through.

JulietteHasAGun · Yesterday 06:47

She’s obviously never going to pay any kennels bill.

Pedaling · Yesterday 06:49

I can absolutely understand your frustration and yes it's very sad her mother has died but if she's not capable of sorting out the dog one of her relatives should be shouldering that responsibility instead of getting annoyed at you.

I think the kennels are your only real option but unfortunately you may have to pay and sort out getting the money back at a later date. I would try calling again to get payment details this morning.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · Yesterday 06:49

Don’t you dare miss your holiday! I agree with PP’s, you tell her if she doesn’t pay a kennel fee then you’ll give the dog to a rescue as abandoned.

Original poster
CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 06:50

JulietteHasAGun · Yesterday 06:45

I’d be seriously annoyed with her. After her mum died her first priority should have been sorting the dog out. No reason why she couldn’t reply to your message and give payment details so the dog could go to kennels.

shes lucky you haven’t tied it to her front door with a bowl of water.

I’m torn between thinking she’s grieving and not thinking straight, and thinking she’s an irresponsible twat who has now caused us a big problem.

OP posts:
Overthebow · Yesterday 06:50

There may not be any availability at kennels this late notice and if OP is going today she’ll be busy with packing and sorting her own dogs. OP, I’d text her again and say you are going away today and so either she needs to sort dog immediately or you’re going to have to drop dog at a rescue as you’ve nowhere for him to go. There’s nothing else you can really do.

Pedaling · Yesterday 06:52

For those saying drop the dog at a rescue it doesn't work like that. A rescue won't take the dog today if the op turns up with it.

JulietteHasAGun · Yesterday 06:52

The OPs problem is that rescues may also be full. She may have to “dump” the dog at a rescue. Neighbour is unlikely to get her dog back but that’s not the OPs problem. She needs to go on her holiday

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · Yesterday 06:53

Pedaling · Yesterday 06:52

For those saying drop the dog at a rescue it doesn't work like that. A rescue won't take the dog today if the op turns up with it.

Plenty of them do.

TheDaringFawn · Yesterday 06:55

CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 06:50

I’m torn between thinking she’s grieving and not thinking straight, and thinking she’s an irresponsible twat who has now caused us a big problem.

Show quote history

Both can be true at the same time.

AgentKim · Yesterday 06:55

She is not going to pay for anything and
even though she is upset She should sort this dog situation out.
I would take the dog to a dog charity give them the owners phone no and say the dog was abandoned.
She has a bloody cheek and its her dog her problem.
If it come to it take the dog to the police station and tell them it was left abandoned and you can't do anything with it as you are going away.
I cant belive the nerve of her not even answering you or thinking its ok to just dump the dog and, because she lost her mum the whole world should stop for her. Hope you get it sorted and enjoy your holiday. Oh and if she never speaks to you again I would count myself lucky.

Stompythedinosaur · Yesterday 06:55

She's behaved very badly. Yes, I think you need to treat the dog as abandoned. Poor dog!

Lifestooshort71 · Yesterday 06:59

Stompythedinosaur · Yesterday 06:55

She's behaved very badly. Yes, I think you need to treat the dog as abandoned. Poor dog!

Yes, he has definitely been abandoned and unless your neighbour has other reasons to come home (work?) could well stay in Scotland until after the funeral. A dreadful predicament for you but do not miss your holiday! Good luck!

Helllllooooooooooo · Yesterday 07:00

When you say helped book a flight. I hope you didn’t pay for it!

PissedDog · Yesterday 07:02

Can you call the dog warden and say you found the dog? They should collect, scan for a chip and sort temporary arrangements until they can contact the owner. May need you to skim over the details of knowing the owner and them having essentially dumped the poor dog on you.....

Original poster
CantGetBackToSleep · Yesterday 07:03

I’m not going to take him to kennels if it means us paying as I’m not sure I’d get the money back.

OP posts:
BtwixtNBtween · Yesterday 07:04

Be very, very careful that you’re not left to foot any bill.
Have you considered The Cinnamon Trust?