Page 2 | To think I’m “boring”

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 2026-08-07T05:24:25+00:00

So I’m 30 and I have children. I am single. I was wild before having my babies but now, I just really enjoy the simple things. Taking them parks, farms etc just spending time with them really. my family are drinkers and are quite surprised to find that I no longer drink (I used to drink to get mortal. That’s not for me anymore). I don’t really have any friends because I literally work all week and I am out with my children and around family on the weekends. i am not on social media and couldn’t be less interested in dating while my children are young. I of course check hot guys out but that’s just window shopping. people think this simple life is quite boring but before now I have been there and done that with chaotic living with an abusive ex and went out on benders on the weekend. I suppose I have grown up, rather than gotten boring! would you say that I’m boring and if you would, what could I do to be less? That doesn’t include alcohol or men!

Robyn847 · 07/08/2026 07:47

There's a lot to be said for being boring. I love being boring. It's VERY underrated!

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/08/2026 07:42

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:14

There was a post on “Teenagers” a while ago from a mum who was genuinely upset because her teens didn’t want to do the same things anymore and she almost had no clue what to do without them.

Don’t neglect yourself. Don’t neglect your friendships.

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I completely agree about not neglecting friendships. You see so many people on here saying they don’t need friends any more: its a really risky approach to think you can rely on just your children.

But there’s a middle ground between staying in all the time and going out on the lash.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:20

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:17

I worry about this.
It must be so very hard.
When that time comes, I’d like to think I’ll be doing things for myself but where do I introduce this and when? I mean, my children are tiny right now so I’m in no rush, maybe when they’re around 10 I’ll start to join classes and groups.
I love being a mum. I said I’d never have another but I can see myself doing it all again at 40!

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The thing is, if you go a decade without doing any of that stuff, are you going to have the confidence to go out and there basically start again in terms of friendships and hobbies?

If your kids are tiny then now is the ideal time to join parent groups, mothers groups etc. and make friends and have other people to do things with.

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:17

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:14

There was a post on “Teenagers” a while ago from a mum who was genuinely upset because her teens didn’t want to do the same things anymore and she almost had no clue what to do without them.

Don’t neglect yourself. Don’t neglect your friendships.

Show quote history

I worry about this.
It must be so very hard.
When that time comes, I’d like to think I’ll be doing things for myself but where do I introduce this and when? I mean, my children are tiny right now so I’m in no rush, maybe when they’re around 10 I’ll start to join classes and groups.
I love being a mum. I said I’d never have another but I can see myself doing it all again at 40!

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timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:14

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:02

That’s what I am worrying about. I suppose I will adapt as they grow older. It isn’t going to happen over night

Show quote history

There was a post on “Teenagers” a while ago from a mum who was genuinely upset because her teens didn’t want to do the same things anymore and she almost had no clue what to do without them.

Don’t neglect yourself. Don’t neglect your friendships.

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:09

Also, thank you, you sound wonderful too!

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Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:09

pomegranatescent · 07/08/2026 07:03

As a single Mum in her 30s to young children, I have attempted to burn the candles at both ends when I have (very rare!) child free time and revisit my crazy weekends of boozing and coming home at 6am!

But in all honesty, it’s no way near as fun, and a hangover with young children is HELL. And when I spend a day rotting in bed when I don’t have them, I am so annoyed with myself for wasting precious time.

Visits to the garden centre give me much more joy now 😊

Dating, again, is often a waste of time and I really can’t be bothered due to the rubbish men I seem to meet

I do agree with PP that you should perhaps try and carve some “you” time out though. Even if it’s to go to a class or a hobby you can dip in and out of.

You sound like a brilliant Mum!🩷

Thanks for your post!

i used to go to bed with my DC and enjoyed it but lately I stay up for me time. My DD will wait for me to go to bed before she settles and so this makes me feel so guilty.
I try to have an hour of wind down, me time before bed and watch a show but I’m often interrupted and asked when I’m going to bed. This is my fault for always going to bed with my children. I’m soft with them in some areas and not in others.
This is something I do need to work on.
Perhaps getting a walking pad and doing this in the evenings will suffice for now?

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pomegranatescent · 07/08/2026 07:03

As a single Mum in her 30s to young children, I have attempted to burn the candles at both ends when I have (very rare!) child free time and revisit my crazy weekends of boozing and coming home at 6am!

But in all honesty, it’s no way near as fun, and a hangover with young children is HELL. And when I spend a day rotting in bed when I don’t have them, I am so annoyed with myself for wasting precious time.

Visits to the garden centre give me much more joy now 😊

Dating, again, is often a waste of time and I really can’t be bothered due to the rubbish men I seem to meet

I do agree with PP that you should perhaps try and carve some “you” time out though. Even if it’s to go to a class or a hobby you can dip in and out of.

You sound like a brilliant Mum!🩷

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:03

PersephoneParlormaid · 07/08/2026 07:00

I’m in my 50’s now and people at work ask what I’m doing that evening. I’m going home, cooking tea, having a shower and sitting on the couch until bed time. I don’t have the energy or inclination to do anything else!

It makes me laugh when people ask me what I will be doing too. My answer is similar to yours, other than for my children, too. The younger ones always tell me about the exciting plans they have for the evening and I can’t help but think “how can you be bothered after work?!”

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Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 07:02

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:00

I don’t think you sound boring but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to put all your time and energy into your children. They will grow up and have their own lives one day and then what?

That’s what I am worrying about. I suppose I will adapt as they grow older. It isn’t going to happen over night

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PersephoneParlormaid · 07/08/2026 07:00

I’m in my 50’s now and people at work ask what I’m doing that evening. I’m going home, cooking tea, having a shower and sitting on the couch until bed time. I don’t have the energy or inclination to do anything else!

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 07/08/2026 07:00

I don’t think you sound boring but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to put all your time and energy into your children. They will grow up and have their own lives one day and then what?

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 06:58

Poppycorn123 · 07/08/2026 06:56

Same as you. For me, my 20s were my wild , fun years. All I want to do now is chill with my dc on the weekends. Nights out no longer appeal to me. If I was free for a night the cinema or a concert would appeal much more than getting plastered. Thankfully things seem to be heading more in that direction. Younger people in their 20s don't seem to drink to oblivion like the older generations did.

I have heard this, too. I really hope this is the case.
It is fun on the night but I can’t help but think for me personally, going out drinking was my priority. If I had my time again, I’d have saved all of that money or atleast a good chunk of it while I could!
Although I did learn a lot from life experiences that should come in handy as my family grow.

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Poppycorn123 · 07/08/2026 06:56

Same as you. For me, my 20s were my wild , fun years. All I want to do now is chill with my dc on the weekends. Nights out no longer appeal to me. If I was free for a night the cinema or a concert would appeal much more than getting plastered. Thankfully things seem to be heading more in that direction. Younger people in their 20s don't seem to drink to oblivion like the older generations did.

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 06:56

ItsIn · 07/08/2026 06:43

I agree with @SnortCorner.
You are not boring, but you are a great mum!
Our interests change as our lives change. I’m completely different now to how I was before I had my (now college&uni age) kids. If my old self could see me now, she’d probably be horrified by how ‘boring’ I am—just as I look at her and can’t believe how naive and irresponsible she was. I’m so grateful to have changed.
The important thing is that your life brings you joy, whatever form that may take.

Edited

So very true!
The years will pass like days.
I have a very specific list of my priorities and what I want to change in the next year in terms of swapping jobs, etc. I am living life a way that I never did.
You mentioned about your younger self being irresponsible… I was too! Even after my first child when she was at her dad’s I would be out that weekend doing what I wanted to do. I am horrified now because although I never drank around her etc, I suppose I wasn’t on my best abilities to go out and give it 100% when she came home. I feel sick at that thought now. I mean I was younger then but that’s no excuse when you’re a mother.
That said, I give myself credit from learning from that separating from people who encouraged that behaviour and completely turning our lives around.
I do not miss the chaos. I love the peace.
I might be old before my time, but so be it! The road I was headed to wasn’t going to bring anything but misery and my children saved me from that road of self destruction.
Horrified is the word I would use at my younger self, but without her I wouldn’t appreciate my life now. Silver linings.

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ItsIn · 07/08/2026 06:43

I agree with @SnortCorner.
You are not boring, but you are a great mum!
Our interests change as our lives change. I’m completely different now to how I was before I had my (now college&uni age) kids. If my old self could see me now, she’d probably be horrified by how ‘boring’ I am—just as I look at her and can’t believe how naive and irresponsible she was. I’m so grateful to have changed.
The important thing is that your life brings you joy, whatever form that may take.

pilates · 07/08/2026 06:42

Sounds fine to me but it is healthy to have friends and hobbies away from your children too.

Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 06:39

SnortCorner · 07/08/2026 06:34

I don't think that sounds boring. You're concentrating on what matters most to you right now - your children.

I think though that as they get older you might feel that you're in a bit of a rut - I certainly did. So maybe either introduce a couple of little things for you or have them in the back of your mind for as your kids get older.

But you sound like a lovely, caring Mum.

Yes I think you’re right.
I did used to really enjoy the gym which I have had to stop due full time working and being a single mother

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Original poster

sodoffbeforemycupofcoff · 07/08/2026 06:38

Glow25 · 07/08/2026 06:33

Honestly if there’s one thing I’ve come to realise in my 30s is I don’t actually give a shit what anyone else thinks about me and that includes my family.
Spent far too much of my younger years caring about what everyone thought, how I dressed and being performative on social media.
You're not boring but if you did want to go out whether that be drinking or not would said family provide free childcare?
Enjoy your kids while they are young, enjoy the parks and fun things you do with them.

I have been made offers, but honestly I don’t want to even be away from them. The thought makes me feel lost. I know that’s not healthy and perhaps something I’ll need to work on , bur for now, I’m happy.

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SnortCorner · 07/08/2026 06:34

I don't think that sounds boring. You're concentrating on what matters most to you right now - your children.

I think though that as they get older you might feel that you're in a bit of a rut - I certainly did. So maybe either introduce a couple of little things for you or have them in the back of your mind for as your kids get older.

But you sound like a lovely, caring Mum.

Glow25 · 07/08/2026 06:33

Honestly if there’s one thing I’ve come to realise in my 30s is I don’t actually give a shit what anyone else thinks about me and that includes my family.
Spent far too much of my younger years caring about what everyone thought, how I dressed and being performative on social media.
You're not boring but if you did want to go out whether that be drinking or not would said family provide free childcare?
Enjoy your kids while they are young, enjoy the parks and fun things you do with them.