To think I’m “boring”

Honestly if there’s one thing I’ve come to realise in my 30s is I don’t actually give a shit what anyone else thinks about me and that includes my family.
Spent far too much of my younger years caring about what everyone thought, how I dressed and being performative on social media.
You're not boring but if you did want to go out whether that be drinking or not would said family provide free childcare?
Enjoy your kids while they are young, enjoy the parks and fun things you do with them.

I don't think that sounds boring. You're concentrating on what matters most to you right now - your children.

I think though that as they get older you might feel that you're in a bit of a rut - I certainly did. So maybe either introduce a couple of little things for you or have them in the back of your mind for as your kids get older.

But you sound like a lovely, caring Mum.

Sounds fine to me but it is healthy to have friends and hobbies away from your children too.

I agree with @SnortCorner.
You are not boring, but you are a great mum!
Our interests change as our lives change. I’m completely different now to how I was before I had my (now college&uni age) kids. If my old self could see me now, she’d probably be horrified by how ‘boring’ I am—just as I look at her and can’t believe how naive and irresponsible she was. I’m so grateful to have changed.
The important thing is that your life brings you joy, whatever form that may take.

Same as you. For me, my 20s were my wild , fun years. All I want to do now is chill with my dc on the weekends. Nights out no longer appeal to me. If I was free for a night the cinema or a concert would appeal much more than getting plastered. Thankfully things seem to be heading more in that direction. Younger people in their 20s don't seem to drink to oblivion like the older generations did.

I don’t think you sound boring but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to put all your time and energy into your children. They will grow up and have their own lives one day and then what?

I’m in my 50’s now and people at work ask what I’m doing that evening. I’m going home, cooking tea, having a shower and sitting on the couch until bed time. I don’t have the energy or inclination to do anything else!

As a single Mum in her 30s to young children, I have attempted to burn the candles at both ends when I have (very rare!) child free time and revisit my crazy weekends of boozing and coming home at 6am!

But in all honesty, it’s no way near as fun, and a hangover with young children is HELL. And when I spend a day rotting in bed when I don’t have them, I am so annoyed with myself for wasting precious time.

Visits to the garden centre give me much more joy now 😊

Dating, again, is often a waste of time and I really can’t be bothered due to the rubbish men I seem to meet

I do agree with PP that you should perhaps try and carve some “you” time out though. Even if it’s to go to a class or a hobby you can dip in and out of.

You sound like a brilliant Mum!🩷

There was a post on “Teenagers” a while ago from a mum who was genuinely upset because her teens didn’t want to do the same things anymore and she almost had no clue what to do without them.

Don’t neglect yourself. Don’t neglect your friendships.

The thing is, if you go a decade without doing any of that stuff, are you going to have the confidence to go out and there basically start again in terms of friendships and hobbies?

If your kids are tiny then now is the ideal time to join parent groups, mothers groups etc. and make friends and have other people to do things with.

I completely agree about not neglecting friendships. You see so many people on here saying they don’t need friends any more: its a really risky approach to think you can rely on just your children.

But there’s a middle ground between staying in all the time and going out on the lash.

There's a lot to be said for being boring. I love being boring. It's VERY underrated!

None of that is boring. I, as a former drinker, can also say that the wild drinking nights are really boring when you’re sober. The opposite of boring isn’t ‘wild’ it’s ’interesting’.

I find people interesting for all sorts of reasons. My husband got sick and so I became very much at home a lot. I’ve picked up a lot of hobbies that I think make my life interesting - oil pastels, clothes making, interior design, growing food, growing roses, writing a novel, baking and cooking. I stopped watching TV. I joined local community groups and volunteering. I pick litter sometimes to improve my community.

The most interest-growing thing I think people can do, from my personal perspective, is read books. Fact, fiction, anything really. You learn a lot that way.

You've had a huge shift in priorities over recent years - as we all do when having children and expecially when you're raising them alone.

Firstly, don't feel guilty for still going out when they were younger. That was what you needed at the time. They were fine. It's OK. It was probably better for them that you transitioned smoothly to where you are now rather than just losing a part of yourself overnight because you were able to find yourself as a mother at your own pace and in your own time rather than having your old self ripped away from you and being forced to accept, "This is just how it is now." I'm assuming single motherhood wasn't (strictly) your choice at that age and that is hard.

Secondly, you're not boring or being boring. Who decides that? If you are happy with the life you live then who ould it be boring to? Other people? They don't matter.

However, thirdly, I agree with those who caution against letting your children become your whole world.

Im 52. I've been a single parent twice and for most of the 27 years I've been a parent (my youngest is still at university) so I have some experience of this.

Once my children were a little older (still at primary school though), i started to think more about myself again. I took up hobbies, met people, made friends. I saw women around me who'd been wonderful parents but who had neglected themselves and they found it a lot harder to adapt when their childen became.more independent and had their own lives. I found that transition a lot easier because I had invested in myself as well as them.

You may have lost interest in going out and getting 'mortal' but you are still allowed to have adult fun when you are ready to do so again. As for dating, that only becomes an issue when you want to do it. Until then, it's not important.

ETA: by adult fun, i dont mean getting pissed! I just mean enjoying things as an adult rather than centering children and children's activities in everything you do.

I don't think you sound boring at all.

I had quite a wild life style in my twenties. I mixed with heavy drinkers. I gave up drinking and when i was sober the scales fell from my eyes and I could see how absolutely boring the drinkers and the druggies and party people are. And actually that quite a lot of them seem to have something lacking in themselves.

Getting pleasure from the simple things in life and your children and being at peace with yourself is a wonderful gift.

Walking pad sounds great! I’ve been thinking about one of them.

I try and squeeze in the odd yoga or reformer Pilates class during a lunch break, if possible. Not always and don’t always have the energy for it!

Theres also lots of online groups such as meditation groups (usually free). If that’s your thing.

My kids are very young like yours so everything falls on me, so sometimes my idea of heaven is an early night! My friends tend to fall into two camps; childfree and carefree or have children who are older so they have more freedom. Added to that most of my friends are in relationships so they’re tied up in those.

I read a book called Wintering and it helped me come to peace with the fact that this stage of my life is a quieter season and it won’t be forever.