To think I’m “boring”

We,, that’s a completely different situation to the one you outlined in your OP! Bluntly, if you can hold down a job, and maintain a good relationship with your family, you can learn to ‘hold down’ friendships. And it’s absolutely crucial that you model healthy friendships for your children.

Not wanting to go out drinking is fine. I’d say having no friends is not. What about when the children grow up?

that could be something to work on, because it benefits your children too.
You can at least be "friendly" without being too deep. Not saying you are unpleasant, just that you have relationships with other parents.

Many of us wouldn't allow sleepovers of younger kids if we don't know the parents, that kind of things.

And as someone has said above, it's also essential not to live exclusively around your kids. It's fine when they are very little, but we are (slowly) preparing them to be independent and have their own life, own friends.

Does it matter if you are?

The only thing I'd say is that it is always good to have a support network and genuine friendships; that's important. It's also important to have something for "self improvement", for want of a better phrase; some kind of hobby or creative outlet.

You cannot put a price on peace of mind, the simple things in life.
I don’t doubt there wasn’t plenty of crazy experiences that went with your life on the lash, nothing good comes from being sloshed drunk.

I think turning your back on your previous lifestyle makes total sense but honestly you need some adult company, laughs and interests of your own. You are more than a mum and it's not good for your kids to observe you giving up on all other aspects of yourself.

If you have someone to mind them I'd get back into the gym and join some classes. Otherwise I'd organise an afternoon out with another school mum and the kids. Or I'd sign up for an online course that's run live.

Your post is reminding me of Wendy Cope’s poem Being Boring - one of my favourite ever poems which I 100% identify with writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php%3Fdate=2003%252F07%252F21.html

Boring isn't in the lifestyle, it's in the personality. I've met fascinating people with very small lives, because they're good conversationalists, witty and insightful. I've also met plenty of "I'm wild me!" people who are a massive yawn, tolerable only when you're in an environment that offers outside stimulation.
If you're not bored by your life, it's not boring to you. If you can hold down conversation, are interested in people and listen to them, you're not boring.
People who drink get very disconcerted when other people stop, and 'boring' is the go to insult. Doesn't make it true.

It sounds good to me, especially that you enjoy your kids and spend quality time with them. Living the dream surely!?

I have taken up sewing and basic furniture refurbishment projects which can be done at home for minimal expense, although the kids might enjoy looking round charity/vintage shops for things to up cycle.

Yes, this is what strikes me as odd about your posts, OP. It’s not ‘never leaving the house without your children’ or ‘coked off your face and dancing on tables’. Is this your issue, that you assume seeing friends is about drinking/clubbing?

I’ve just finished three months of work on an all-consuming project, which means I’ve led a much less social life than usual, but even so, I have friends round for dinner or brunch at weekends, go to gigs/films/exhibitions with them, etc.

Bet your children don’t think you are boring. Who else matters?

Both your previous and current life sound boring to me. Because I don't equate interesting or fun with nights out, drinking, getting drunk and sleeping around. These activities are dull to me, and a waste of time.

But equally, yes your current life of work, no friends and farms also sound boring. But it's your life, and as long as you're happy, nothing else matters. I'm sure many people wouldn't want my life with.

To be honest, the life of half the posters on MN sounds excruciatingly boring to me the way they describe it 😂

You have a young family, you are busy. Who cares what someone might think?

I would be worried you are lonely because you don't speak about friends much. Not obsessing about it, but I would try to organically meet people through schools, kids clubs etc.. and hopefully get friendships built that way.

It sound a bit too black and white, either partying, drinking dating random guys or not doing anything at all. You can have a social life while being a young mam.

Depends – are you worried people think you are boring or do you feel bored/as if you're not getting the most out of life?

Same here. I no longer care about being seen as cool, fun or interesting. It’s my one short life, I genuinely do it how I want to do it.

I can't think of anyone more boring than people who think getting plastered is the best way to spend free time. Nothing stops you from having friends and finding some hobbies, though - crafts, art, playing a music instrument, yoga, reading, community volunteering with your kids at the weekend, free public lectures at a local uni...
You enjoy spending time with your kids and that's great. But it is also a lot of pressure on your children once they are old enough to understand that they are the center of your universe and you don't have anything in your life except for them.

I find people who get paralytic as a means of having fun the most boring of all.
Well done on providing a calm and peaceful environment for yourself and your children after the chaos.
It's unwise though to make them your absolute everything; so find something that is just for you as well. Hopefully you have a good friendship, and maybe some support that allows you to have even a hour every now and then for yourself.

Anyone that needs a drug to have fun is boring!

You sound far from boring to me!

I never get bored. There is always fun to be had doing stuff with the kids, reading a good book, cooking etc...

I think anyone that would consider you boring would likely be the boring person!

Walking pad sounds great! I’ve been thinking about one of them.

I try and squeeze in the odd yoga or reformer Pilates class during a lunch break, if possible. Not always and don’t always have the energy for it!

Theres also lots of online groups such as meditation groups (usually free). If that’s your thing.

My kids are very young like yours so everything falls on me, so sometimes my idea of heaven is an early night! My friends tend to fall into two camps; childfree and carefree or have children who are older so they have more freedom. Added to that most of my friends are in relationships so they’re tied up in those.

I read a book called Wintering and it helped me come to peace with the fact that this stage of my life is a quieter season and it won’t be forever.

I don't think you sound boring at all.

I had quite a wild life style in my twenties. I mixed with heavy drinkers. I gave up drinking and when i was sober the scales fell from my eyes and I could see how absolutely boring the drinkers and the druggies and party people are. And actually that quite a lot of them seem to have something lacking in themselves.

Getting pleasure from the simple things in life and your children and being at peace with yourself is a wonderful gift.

You've had a huge shift in priorities over recent years - as we all do when having children and expecially when you're raising them alone.

Firstly, don't feel guilty for still going out when they were younger. That was what you needed at the time. They were fine. It's OK. It was probably better for them that you transitioned smoothly to where you are now rather than just losing a part of yourself overnight because you were able to find yourself as a mother at your own pace and in your own time rather than having your old self ripped away from you and being forced to accept, "This is just how it is now." I'm assuming single motherhood wasn't (strictly) your choice at that age and that is hard.

Secondly, you're not boring or being boring. Who decides that? If you are happy with the life you live then who ould it be boring to? Other people? They don't matter.

However, thirdly, I agree with those who caution against letting your children become your whole world.

Im 52. I've been a single parent twice and for most of the 27 years I've been a parent (my youngest is still at university) so I have some experience of this.

Once my children were a little older (still at primary school though), i started to think more about myself again. I took up hobbies, met people, made friends. I saw women around me who'd been wonderful parents but who had neglected themselves and they found it a lot harder to adapt when their childen became.more independent and had their own lives. I found that transition a lot easier because I had invested in myself as well as them.

You may have lost interest in going out and getting 'mortal' but you are still allowed to have adult fun when you are ready to do so again. As for dating, that only becomes an issue when you want to do it. Until then, it's not important.

ETA: by adult fun, i dont mean getting pissed! I just mean enjoying things as an adult rather than centering children and children's activities in everything you do.

None of that is boring. I, as a former drinker, can also say that the wild drinking nights are really boring when you’re sober. The opposite of boring isn’t ‘wild’ it’s ’interesting’.

I find people interesting for all sorts of reasons. My husband got sick and so I became very much at home a lot. I’ve picked up a lot of hobbies that I think make my life interesting - oil pastels, clothes making, interior design, growing food, growing roses, writing a novel, baking and cooking. I stopped watching TV. I joined local community groups and volunteering. I pick litter sometimes to improve my community.

The most interest-growing thing I think people can do, from my personal perspective, is read books. Fact, fiction, anything really. You learn a lot that way.