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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?

189 replies

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:20

Hi MN, second time trying a thread so I hope it goes better this time. So a close friend has really annoyed me earlier this afternoon. I was with 5 of my friends from my village having lunch with a few glasses of wine. As usual the conversation started to get a bit silly towards the end. Someone started asking the girls who their celebrity crush was. Had the usual Hugh Grant, Benedict Cumber batch but when it came to me I felt awkward and blurted out Martin Clunes. I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.
I think he's reasonably attractive and talented but the friend I feel closest too went into a fit of giggles and kept bringing it up for the rest of the afternoon.
A few hours later she put a picture of Martin in the church group chat and my DH noticed I was upset so I had to tell him.
He found it amusing and doesn't seem to care but I feel betrayed and hurt that my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed at lunch.
She's usually so nice and caring but iv seen a nasty side today but my adult daughter said it's just banter and to let it go.
I feel like messaging her and cancelling weekend plans.
IABU?

OP posts:
CamillaMcCauley · 07/08/2026 01:14

My friends give me endless shit because nerdy Benedict Cumberbatch is my celeb crush while they all fancy classic pretty boys like Brad Pitt and James Franco who leave me cold.

Mocking your friends for their rubbish taste in fantasy men is one of the great pleasures of friendship, surely?

ElenOfTheWays · 07/08/2026 01:07

hoarahloux · 06/08/2026 23:30

You weren't comfortable so blurted out a person who you don't actually fancy that much but who is your age, and so your friends laughed? To be honest, Martin Clunes, really? There are many attractive older men on TV. I really wouldnt have picked him! If you don't fancy any men surely among your friends it's OK to say no one, or how about the women. I'd go Gillian Anderson or Olivia Colman tbh.

Ah but do you fancy Olivia Coleman in her persona of a woman or a gay man?
Honestly she's bonkers.

sheisforrealatiger · 07/08/2026 01:06

I wouldn’t show your friend the thread, Op. You did call her nasty. Just enjoy the validation here and let it trickle through your life out there.

I have never been ashamed of any crush, and I definitely had unusual tastes as a teen and got teased relentlessly.

I’d be interested to know who was the first that came to mind?

I had a crush on Martin clunes as a kid. And Paul Newman. I’m in my 30s.

MySneakyLion · 07/08/2026 01:01

Shloopie · 06/08/2026 23:26

'I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.'

This is where you went wrong. In the world of celeb crushes you can go out of your stratosphere, never mind your league!

Yeah I found that bit in the OP really weird as well - the whole point of a celebrity crush is someone you find absolutely gorgeous (and unobtainable).

It's not like you’re actually going to have a relationship with them to be judged on age differences etc!

Chill OP, Martin Jug Lugs is a pretty funny choice.

ohsosomething · 07/08/2026 01:00

@HumbleHun tbh I laughed when I read Martin Clunes. He’s not awful looking but is very different looking. I suppose everyone has someone that fancies them. It is very funny though 😂

Think you just have to accept this is funny to others and move on.

WontStopHowlingNow · 07/08/2026 00:57

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/08/2026 23:48

Martin Clunes is really fuckable.

I fancied him in Men Behaving Badly and HIGNFY. He’s a lovely bloke.

He’s also a really good actor.

Martin Clunes is a Top Tier Celebrity Crush.

Also a huge animal lover and a real giggler on chat shows. Win-win for you OP!!😁♥️
My celeb crushes are many, ranging from the late Dennis Waterman right up to Declan Rice, John Bishop and Jamie Bamber. Enjoy your crush, own it!
It’s only a bit of fun🌸

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:55

Yikes101 · 07/08/2026 00:47

I’d have gone with Jude Bellingham who is a few months younger than my dd. I have no shame!

Yikes indeed, I wish I had your courage. I also enjoyed the world cup matches for one specific reason....

OP posts:
Thanksforyourlackofthought · 07/08/2026 00:55

Rather fond of Mr Clunes myself and have never made any secret of it.😍

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:53

Flowerheads · 07/08/2026 00:50

OP, respectfully, no one was asking you to recount your favourite position or give a blow by blow account of your kinks! They asked for your celebrity crush, and you didn’t even tell them your actual ones, but had a deeply odd process of trying to find someone she-appropriate and not ‘put of your league’? And now you’re mortified?

Martin Clunes looks like a medieval gargoyle but manages that wonderful, male-only phenomenon of managing to be attractive in a medieval, gargoyle ish way. Just own it!

Wow, I appreciate your no nonsense advice and appreciate it.

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 07/08/2026 00:53

I have a weird crush on Gordon Ramsey 😅 have done since I was teen!

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:52

Pinkissmart · 07/08/2026 00:42

My celebrity crush is about 30 years older than me. That’s the fun of celebrity crushes- they’re just a bit of fun ☺️

Please tell.. one thing iv learned tonight is that it's exhilarating to say it out loud and no answer is wrong.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:51

Please tell.. one thing iv learned tonight is that it's exhilarating to say it out loud and no answer is wrong.

OP posts:
Flowerheads · 07/08/2026 00:50

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:43

Yes I am trying to loosen up as I get older. I grew up with a very strict father and in religious schools so iv always been introverted on sexual matters. It's hard trying to change habits if a lifetime though!

OP, respectfully, no one was asking you to recount your favourite position or give a blow by blow account of your kinks! They asked for your celebrity crush, and you didn’t even tell them your actual ones, but had a deeply odd process of trying to find someone she-appropriate and not ‘put of your league’? And now you’re mortified?

Martin Clunes looks like a medieval gargoyle but manages that wonderful, male-only phenomenon of managing to be attractive in a medieval, gargoyle ish way. Just own it!

HappyCowgirl · 07/08/2026 00:49

brisamarina · 06/08/2026 23:29

Mine is Wayne Rooney and I’m not bothered who knows. Do you feel any better now OP?

Mine is David Mitchell! Imagine the ribbing I got for that?!
I just like myself a smart man!

Yikes101 · 07/08/2026 00:47

I’d have gone with Jude Bellingham who is a few months younger than my dd. I have no shame!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 07/08/2026 00:44

Surely not Hugh Grant now?
I'd be challenging that one, OP.
But, Martin Clunes??? 🤔
Oh, dear.

Pinkissmart · 07/08/2026 00:42

My celebrity crush is about 30 years older than me. That’s the fun of celebrity crushes- they’re just a bit of fun ☺️

Crochetandtea · 07/08/2026 00:27

I had a Cliff Richard calendar when I was about 20. Only my sister knows about that crush. I’ve had very naughty dreams about Simon Cowell and Horatio from CSI. Don’t be embarrassed. Doc Martin is fab.
The pic in the group chat was probably not meant in a nasty way.

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:26

Ayarreet · 07/08/2026 00:08

urgh. it's one of them then. I'm really zany me.

Who is your celebrity crush?

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:25

SnowFrogJelly · 07/08/2026 00:16

Grow up?

Yes, I realise now that at an age if 50+ I do indeed need to grow up.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:24

IWasTangoed · 07/08/2026 00:03

Considering Mr Tumble came up as a popular crush on a thread about celebrity crushes a while back, I'd say Martin Clunes is nothing to be embarrassed about!

Thankyou, the replies have made me realised I'm being slightly ridiculous and I will show my friend this thread tomorrow. She is always pushing me to try new things and go on excursions etc so I suspect now she was trying to help me be more open.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:19

LoveheartBear · 07/08/2026 00:10

I was just about to post a comment that I also have a crush on Martin Clunes, but, back when my children were small, I had a crush on Mr Tumble (and I mentioned that in a thread about strange crushes!) 😳. I blame the hormones, in hindsight 😁.

OP, I’ve had the mickey taken out of me plenty of times, but I take it all in good humour. Your friend isn’t trying to be cruel, but she probably carried it on for too long, and the joke has worn thin.

Edited

IV just had to Google Mr tumble, my kids grew up before cbbc and I think to find a caring, funny man attractive is very normal.

OP posts:
SnowFrogJelly · 07/08/2026 00:16

Grow up?

LoveheartBear · 07/08/2026 00:10

IWasTangoed · 07/08/2026 00:03

Considering Mr Tumble came up as a popular crush on a thread about celebrity crushes a while back, I'd say Martin Clunes is nothing to be embarrassed about!

I was just about to post a comment that I also have a crush on Martin Clunes, but, back when my children were small, I had a crush on Mr Tumble (and I mentioned that in a thread about strange crushes!) 😳. I blame the hormones, in hindsight 😁.

OP, I’ve had the mickey taken out of me plenty of times, but I take it all in good humour. Your friend isn’t trying to be cruel, but she probably carried it on for too long, and the joke has worn thin.

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:10

Delphiniumandlupins · 07/08/2026 00:05

Who was your friend's choice? Bet he's less lovely than Martin Clunes! Ribbing like this is not usually meant to be unkind but will carry on longer if you react.

She said Idris Elba. The other 3 said Hugh grant, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Kemp. We are all over the age of 50 btw

OP posts:
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