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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?

153 replies

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:20

Hi MN, second time trying a thread so I hope it goes better this time. So a close friend has really annoyed me earlier this afternoon. I was with 5 of my friends from my village having lunch with a few glasses of wine. As usual the conversation started to get a bit silly towards the end. Someone started asking the girls who their celebrity crush was. Had the usual Hugh Grant, Benedict Cumber batch but when it came to me I felt awkward and blurted out Martin Clunes. I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.
I think he's reasonably attractive and talented but the friend I feel closest too went into a fit of giggles and kept bringing it up for the rest of the afternoon.
A few hours later she put a picture of Martin in the church group chat and my DH noticed I was upset so I had to tell him.
He found it amusing and doesn't seem to care but I feel betrayed and hurt that my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed at lunch.
She's usually so nice and caring but iv seen a nasty side today but my adult daughter said it's just banter and to let it go.
I feel like messaging her and cancelling weekend plans.
IABU?

OP posts:
Gooseling · 06/08/2026 23:24

If you can’t take the piss out of yourself and laugh at a celebrity crush with your friends then yes, YABU to be hurt.

fartoomuchtoblerone · 06/08/2026 23:24

It is just banter, let it go.

Shloopie · 06/08/2026 23:24

Tbh it seems an overreaction on your part. Are you generally quite a sensitive person? Tell her to knock it on the head if you feel like she's dragging it out but 'betrayed and hurt'? Sheesh.

Shloopie · 06/08/2026 23:26

'I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.'

This is where you went wrong. In the world of celeb crushes you can go out of your stratosphere, never mind your league!

rockingaroundthe · 06/08/2026 23:27

Kindly, as you seem a lovely person, yabu

Ribbing is part of friendship xx

WerewolfOfLoudon · 06/08/2026 23:28

It's not your husband she's mocking. YABU to give this more than a minute's thought and completely OTT to cancel plans over something so insignificant.

brisamarina · 06/08/2026 23:29

Mine is Wayne Rooney and I’m not bothered who knows. Do you feel any better now OP?

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:29

rockingaroundthe · 06/08/2026 23:27

Kindly, as you seem a lovely person, yabu

Ribbing is part of friendship xx

Ok thankyou, IV not reacted and I can't confide in my real life friends as it's a small circle so advice is appreciated. Your reply was lovely so it means a lot.

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 06/08/2026 23:30

You weren't comfortable so blurted out a person who you don't actually fancy that much but who is your age, and so your friends laughed? To be honest, Martin Clunes, really? There are many attractive older men on TV. I really wouldnt have picked him! If you don't fancy any men surely among your friends it's OK to say no one, or how about the women. I'd go Gillian Anderson or Olivia Colman tbh.

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:30

brisamarina · 06/08/2026 23:29

Mine is Wayne Rooney and I’m not bothered who knows. Do you feel any better now OP?

I do, I wish I had your confidence x

OP posts:
DahliaDelights · 06/08/2026 23:31

my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed

this is the reason, forget Martin Clunes, she is mocking you despite seeing your earlier embarrassment, have you told her to quit it, its done, enough?

Is this normal behaviour, repeated? the mockery?

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:34

hoarahloux · 06/08/2026 23:30

You weren't comfortable so blurted out a person who you don't actually fancy that much but who is your age, and so your friends laughed? To be honest, Martin Clunes, really? There are many attractive older men on TV. I really wouldnt have picked him! If you don't fancy any men surely among your friends it's OK to say no one, or how about the women. I'd go Gillian Anderson or Olivia Colman tbh.

I think he's good looking and I love him in doc Martin but I'm not extroverted with personal things like this so I went with a safe option. There are men that make my knees tremble but if be very uncomfortable revealing that as they are decades younger

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:36

WerewolfOfLoudon · 06/08/2026 23:28

It's not your husband she's mocking. YABU to give this more than a minute's thought and completely OTT to cancel plans over something so insignificant.

Ok thankyou. Im a bit old fashioned with talking sexual matters but trying to change.

OP posts:
WerewolfOfLoudon · 06/08/2026 23:38

FWIW @HumbleHun There was a thread about celebrity crushes not long ago, Clunes came up a few times. Names like George Osbourne and Michael Gove also appeared. Own your crush OP (prefer Neil Morrisey myself but he's older than my mum.)

Fifthtimelucky · 06/08/2026 23:38

Does it help if I tell you that I quite fancy Martin Clunes too (a long standing thing which goes back to his Men Behaving Badly days).

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:38

DahliaDelights · 06/08/2026 23:31

my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed

this is the reason, forget Martin Clunes, she is mocking you despite seeing your earlier embarrassment, have you told her to quit it, its done, enough?

Is this normal behaviour, repeated? the mockery?

Well that's why I'm upset that it has carried on hours later and on a message group. I felt uncomfortable at lunch but brushed it off but bringing it up 3 hours after we went home upset me.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:40

Fifthtimelucky · 06/08/2026 23:38

Does it help if I tell you that I quite fancy Martin Clunes too (a long standing thing which goes back to his Men Behaving Badly days).

It does thankyou! Men behaving badly was a big show in my student days and that's when it started. Everyone fancied the other one (my minds went blank) but I was Martin.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:43

Gooseling · 06/08/2026 23:24

If you can’t take the piss out of yourself and laugh at a celebrity crush with your friends then yes, YABU to be hurt.

Yes I am trying to loosen up as I get older. I grew up with a very strict father and in religious schools so iv always been introverted on sexual matters. It's hard trying to change habits if a lifetime though!

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:46

Shloopie · 06/08/2026 23:24

Tbh it seems an overreaction on your part. Are you generally quite a sensitive person? Tell her to knock it on the head if you feel like she's dragging it out but 'betrayed and hurt'? Sheesh.

I'm not sensitive in general but I'm introverted regarding sexual matters due to my upbringing and i easily get flustered but feel my friend should have picked up on that. I am trying to work on it as I know it's healthy.

OP posts:
CharlotteSometimes1 · 06/08/2026 23:47

I’d actually take it as a compliment, you only tend to tease friends like this when you feel very comfortable with them.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/08/2026 23:48

Martin Clunes is really fuckable.

I fancied him in Men Behaving Badly and HIGNFY. He’s a lovely bloke.

He’s also a really good actor.

Martin Clunes is a Top Tier Celebrity Crush.

Funkyfoxy · 06/08/2026 23:48

I think ur friends sound brilliant .. they wasn't laughing behind your back, they put a picture up of martin clunes in the group chat, come on that's funny. That actually sounds like real friendship.

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:50

WerewolfOfLoudon · 06/08/2026 23:38

FWIW @HumbleHun There was a thread about celebrity crushes not long ago, Clunes came up a few times. Names like George Osbourne and Michael Gove also appeared. Own your crush OP (prefer Neil Morrisey myself but he's older than my mum.)

I wish I had the confidence to not worry but I do. I envy the ladies that can speak freely and without fear of judgment about sex.. I never have been but I know it's unhealthy and stems from adolescence.

OP posts:
birdinatree1903 · 06/08/2026 23:50

I am often teased when this topic comes up because my celebrity crushes are mostly old enough to be my dad, but it doesn’t bother me - if everyone liked the same people the conversation would be really dull! Difference in tastes and opinions is what makes things fun and interesting. It’s not unreasonable that you felt embarrassed but it’s not worth dwelling on, I’m sure she wasn’t trying to be mean spirited. Nothing wrong with Martin Clunes! I can imagine he’d often crop up on ‘weird crush’ or ‘hear me out’ lists just because he’s not the most conventional choice. Although, his acting was so good when he recently played Huw Edwards that I’d avoid watching that if I were you - it will put you off!

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:52

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/08/2026 23:48

Martin Clunes is really fuckable.

I fancied him in Men Behaving Badly and HIGNFY. He’s a lovely bloke.

He’s also a really good actor.

Martin Clunes is a Top Tier Celebrity Crush.

Wow! You said what I'm embarrassed to say out loud. Ok you have inspired me . I fancy Martin Clunes and would let him do what he pleases with me in the bedroom 🤭

OP posts: