Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?

189 replies

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:20

Hi MN, second time trying a thread so I hope it goes better this time. So a close friend has really annoyed me earlier this afternoon. I was with 5 of my friends from my village having lunch with a few glasses of wine. As usual the conversation started to get a bit silly towards the end. Someone started asking the girls who their celebrity crush was. Had the usual Hugh Grant, Benedict Cumber batch but when it came to me I felt awkward and blurted out Martin Clunes. I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.
I think he's reasonably attractive and talented but the friend I feel closest too went into a fit of giggles and kept bringing it up for the rest of the afternoon.
A few hours later she put a picture of Martin in the church group chat and my DH noticed I was upset so I had to tell him.
He found it amusing and doesn't seem to care but I feel betrayed and hurt that my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed at lunch.
She's usually so nice and caring but iv seen a nasty side today but my adult daughter said it's just banter and to let it go.
I feel like messaging her and cancelling weekend plans.
IABU?

OP posts:
Minniliscious · 07/08/2026 07:28

I had a weird crush on Jeremy Kyle 🙈

LoafofSellotape · 07/08/2026 07:18

CharlotteSometimes1 · 06/08/2026 23:47

I’d actually take it as a compliment, you only tend to tease friends like this when you feel very comfortable with them.

Exactly this,she likes you and it's funny.

HowsYourBoatRace · 07/08/2026 06:58

Mine is Erling Haaland and I'm 42!

MarthaLovesLaughing · 07/08/2026 06:15

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:25

Yes, I realise now that at an age if 50+ I do indeed need to grow up.

You really really do

You also need to learn to tell the truth and then own your truth (whatever that is)

Forgotthebins · 07/08/2026 06:08

I think it was weird that she posted in the church group chat. I’m not religious but I imagine church group chats are fairly conservative places. Maybe she doesn’t read your signals or maybe she was stirring. Give her a chance to get to know you better, say it was awkward for you, and take it from there.

Womansisterdaughtermother · 07/08/2026 05:39

Omg same! I've a long standing crush on John Nettles. To the point that yesterday I did a large mountain of ironing w watching old episodes of Bergerac. My newesr celeb crush is Carlos Alcaraz.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 07/08/2026 05:34

I used to really fancy John Nettles and hen he was on Midsomer Murders. I was about 20, at the time. 😂

Bobbie12345678 · 07/08/2026 04:12

It is only weird and awkward if you make it weird and awkward.
Own it. He is kinda cool.
Find your own favourite photo of him or a short clip and post them too. Then maybe add a couple of other actors you like with a throw away comment…’ maybe on second thoughts Brad Pitt’. Real kudos if you find someone else a bit alternative and put them up
too.
Next time someone mentions it rather than feeling ( and acting ) prickly give a distant smile and say, ‘I think he would be really interesting to hand out with’.

Good luck.

TamarindCottage · 07/08/2026 04:09

I can’t remember who said it but a comedian stated that Andrew Marr was Martin Clunes with all the air taken out. I did laugh 😇

Divebar2021 · 07/08/2026 03:56

EwwStew · 07/08/2026 03:42

When I was a teenager my main crushes were Craig Charles, Chris Barrie, Rowan Atkinson, Steve Irwin and Rik Mayall.

Now I'm an adult it is still them when I watch old reruns, though I have a new apex crush.

The man. The mountain. Greg Davies.

I've had the piss ripped out of me for my crushes forever. Do I care? No. Because they are sexy as hell and I will die on that hill.

Yes I do think Greg Davies is a popular one. I was watching some videos earlier and Louis Theroux popped up being interviewed ( chicken shop date if anyone’s interested ) and I did think for a minute that he’s really grown into himself . But Greg Davies recounting his tails on Graham Norton… extremely attractive.

WhatTheHellsGoingOn · 07/08/2026 03:56

I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league

Surely this is the point of a celebrity crush? Fantasy. No one really expects to meet and form a relationship with them. I’ve never heard that you should only admit to fancying ppl you’d have a chance with in real life or looks wise!

Cattywillow · 07/08/2026 03:44

Just own it. Reply ‘I said what I said!’

EwwStew · 07/08/2026 03:42

When I was a teenager my main crushes were Craig Charles, Chris Barrie, Rowan Atkinson, Steve Irwin and Rik Mayall.

Now I'm an adult it is still them when I watch old reruns, though I have a new apex crush.

The man. The mountain. Greg Davies.

I've had the piss ripped out of me for my crushes forever. Do I care? No. Because they are sexy as hell and I will die on that hill.

JMSA · 07/08/2026 03:36

I think you’re overreacting.

What I’m wondering though, is if you’ve had any issues with this particular friend - or indeed the group - taking the piss before? It’s just that you do seem very sensitive x

WheresThatCatGoneNow · 07/08/2026 03:35

Funkyfoxy · 06/08/2026 23:48

I think ur friends sound brilliant .. they wasn't laughing behind your back, they put a picture up of martin clunes in the group chat, come on that's funny. That actually sounds like real friendship.

Sounds more like a 'Mean Girls' clique to me.

Also, I really dislike the word- and the whole concept of - banter 😡🤬

andthat · 07/08/2026 03:14

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:53

Oh god.. what did I do 😱

You said what you feel @HumbleHun… and guess what? You didn’t go up in flames!

Your strict religious upbringing is the cause of your reaction to this. Unless your friend has form for mocking you or being unkind, then I’d try not to overthink it. It sounds like you were all having fun and she ran with it.

You sound like a lovely person.. but gently it was just a silly game and doesn’t warrant this amount of worry and embarrassment.

abracadabra1980 · 07/08/2026 03:07

Gooseling · 06/08/2026 23:24

If you can’t take the piss out of yourself and laugh at a celebrity crush with your friends then yes, YABU to be hurt.

This. Learn how to laugh at yourself or life can be terminally miserable.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 07/08/2026 02:58

It’s bants babe!

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 07/08/2026 02:37

I’m a very straight woman, never been remotely attracted to any woman apart from Sue Perkins. Can’t really work that one out tbh. But it won’t go away.

And, obviously, Lee Mack. Just the anticipation of his wisecracks would get me into bed, he wouldn’t actually have to be funny.

Iocanepowder · 07/08/2026 01:49

Mumtobabyhavoc · 07/08/2026 00:44

Surely not Hugh Grant now?
I'd be challenging that one, OP.
But, Martin Clunes??? 🤔
Oh, dear.

Edited

What’s wrong with Hugh Grant?

Older men are hot.

I agreed with Anthony Hopkins on that other thread.

CallUpMyMamaSaidImInLoveWithTheStripperYo · 07/08/2026 01:49

This happened to me with the Gladiators. I said I fancied all of them. My friends still laugh about it.

Don’t overthink it.

mamajong · 07/08/2026 01:47

Whaaaat? You are massively over reacting to lighthearted teasing surely you can see that?! You must surely have more important things to think about in life than this?!

CamillaMcCauley · 07/08/2026 01:42

JustaDomperignon · 07/08/2026 01:30

I have taken a lot of ribbing after admitting my celeb crush is Hugh Laurie! We are all different!
After a pp mentioned your previous thread, I couldn't resist taking a look. It was wonderful! So brilliantly funny! I bet you are a hoot to be out with after a few vino's!

Oooh yes, I have watched far too many episodes of House, which is an objectively terrible show, just because he’s in it.

The weirdest thing is that usually an English accent makes men hotter than an American accent but in my opinion it works the opposite way with Hugh Laurie.

EvaLothar11 · 07/08/2026 01:41

I absolutely adore... James May.... What of it??

JustaDomperignon · 07/08/2026 01:30

I have taken a lot of ribbing after admitting my celeb crush is Hugh Laurie! We are all different!
After a pp mentioned your previous thread, I couldn't resist taking a look. It was wonderful! So brilliantly funny! I bet you are a hoot to be out with after a few vino's!

Swipe left for the next trending thread