Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?

189 replies

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:20

Hi MN, second time trying a thread so I hope it goes better this time. So a close friend has really annoyed me earlier this afternoon. I was with 5 of my friends from my village having lunch with a few glasses of wine. As usual the conversation started to get a bit silly towards the end. Someone started asking the girls who their celebrity crush was. Had the usual Hugh Grant, Benedict Cumber batch but when it came to me I felt awkward and blurted out Martin Clunes. I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.
I think he's reasonably attractive and talented but the friend I feel closest too went into a fit of giggles and kept bringing it up for the rest of the afternoon.
A few hours later she put a picture of Martin in the church group chat and my DH noticed I was upset so I had to tell him.
He found it amusing and doesn't seem to care but I feel betrayed and hurt that my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed at lunch.
She's usually so nice and caring but iv seen a nasty side today but my adult daughter said it's just banter and to let it go.
I feel like messaging her and cancelling weekend plans.
IABU?

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 22:38

Chefpig · 07/08/2026 15:00

I think he's a hotty myself and I fancy him even more in Doc Martin when he's moody and bad tempered (or maybe I fancy the character too!). Don't be ashamed. He's attractive and intelligent. His series on the Australian islands was excellent!

Oh yes, doc Martin helped me through tough times. IV got to watch the Australian series. I hope i can stream it somehow. Also thankyou, post like yours make me realise how normal my preference are as I agree with every word you say regarding Mr.Clunes..its not just his physical appearance it's his persona and personality that makes me want to do adulterous things with him 😍

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 07/08/2026 22:37

Ok a bit of ribbing is ok but carrying on for hours and picking on one person is bullying. Who did she say?

SummerSummerSummertime · 07/08/2026 22:36

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 22:14

Jude Bellingham in the world cup, I watched every second of every match with great interest and passion 😱.

Fair.

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 22:31

ByRoseBiscuit · 07/08/2026 21:57

I don’t think your friend would be aware she was upsetting you, my closest friend and I have definitely ribbed each other for things like this before, and it becomes a bit of a running joke. Don’t be embarrassed!

I now realise that. I have amazing set of friends that I see daily and if I can't be open and honest and vulnerable with them then I am the problem. IV now told my friends of this thread and they have long forgot about Martin and now ribbing me for being so ridiculously dramatic.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 22:14

Jude Bellingham in the world cup, I watched every second of every match with great interest and passion 😱.

OP posts:
SummerSummerSummertime · 07/08/2026 22:03

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:34

I think he's good looking and I love him in doc Martin but I'm not extroverted with personal things like this so I went with a safe option. There are men that make my knees tremble but if be very uncomfortable revealing that as they are decades younger

Who makes your knees tremble op???

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 21:59

Lentilcakes · 07/08/2026 13:17

You’re taking this far too seriously! You should e said who you really liked though, who cares if they’re younger? I’ve certainly appreciated young men on screen - onesyoung enough to be my son 😂 (maybe I’d draw the line at 22 - my son’s actual age!!

Well a few days ago I'd have not known how to react to this statement but now I feel I can say I know exactly what you mean! Have a lovely weekend lentilcakes

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 21:57

Maray1967 · 07/08/2026 12:14

Don’t let that worry you! One of mine is much younger and gay …

Maybe you could turn him if you met him Maray 😍

OP posts:
ByRoseBiscuit · 07/08/2026 21:57

I don’t think your friend would be aware she was upsetting you, my closest friend and I have definitely ribbed each other for things like this before, and it becomes a bit of a running joke. Don’t be embarrassed!

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 21:56

SusanJJ · 07/08/2026 20:53

Really they fancied the thin neurotic one? I'm with you, Martin is more of a hunk.

Yes all my flat mates swooned over Neil? And the guys over the bonde one. I however adored Martin and his dry humour. 30 years later I still feel the same.

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 21:54

Mildmanneredmum · 07/08/2026 11:09

Try Daniel Craig's US deep south accent in "Knives Out". My knickers burst into flames.

I used that knickers saying in the group chat and got a series of crying laughter faces. This thread on MN has unleashed my wild side and I'm loving it 🤩

OP posts:
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 21:50

Robocopper · 07/08/2026 20:47

I’m a similar age to MC and I fancied him in Men Behaving Badly too!

I think your friend was completely out of order continuing the joke onto a group message with husbands etc. However daft, girl chat with your mates should stay in that group. Hope you’re feeling better now OP.

No the group chat was just the ladies in the village that help out with church related activities. We live in a village so the church hall doubles up as a community centre, meeting place etc so most days they need help. The husband's are not in the group but my DH noticed my reaction and I told him why. He also said I was being silly and after reading post after post telling me I had an aha moment! I loved my parents but some if there ideas were outdated even in the 70s when I was a schoolgirl never mind now and I've lived my life by what I was taught.

OP posts:
SusanJJ · 07/08/2026 20:53

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:40

It does thankyou! Men behaving badly was a big show in my student days and that's when it started. Everyone fancied the other one (my minds went blank) but I was Martin.

Really they fancied the thin neurotic one? I'm with you, Martin is more of a hunk.

StMarie4me · 07/08/2026 20:47

He’s also marvellous where he plays the real life police officer in the Dramas. He’s a lovely man and the acts all there is to it!

Robocopper · 07/08/2026 20:47

I’m a similar age to MC and I fancied him in Men Behaving Badly too!

I think your friend was completely out of order continuing the joke onto a group message with husbands etc. However daft, girl chat with your mates should stay in that group. Hope you’re feeling better now OP.

Sartre · 07/08/2026 20:30

My mum fancies the pants off him to be fair, I think his name crops up on celeb crush threads on here fairly often so it’s not an unusual one. They maybe took it a bit too far with the group chat but were trying to be playful, I don’t think they intended to upset you.

My celeb crush is Mark Ruffalo if it helps, he’s almost twice my age so DH finds it hilarious

tartyflette · 07/08/2026 20:25

Yes indeed, Stanley Tucci — although being Italian he definitely has a head start in the attractiveness stakes. Plus he can cook. Plus he has an English wife. Now there’s a man with taste.

tartyflette · 07/08/2026 19:52

Martin Clunes seems like a nice chap, sense of humour, all his own hair and teeth as far as we can judge, so what’s not to like? Perfectly respectable crush material. Own it!

SchnitzelAgain · 07/08/2026 18:37

Lentilcakes · 07/08/2026 13:19

Who fancies the haunted pencil? Now that’s a worry!

I promise you there was a MNer not long ago who confessed to fancying the Victorian gentleman.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?
HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 18:34

Dollymylove · 07/08/2026 16:10

Ah c'mon OP, loosen up a bit. I mean, Martin Clunes? Good actor but hardly an Adonis 🙄
Just style it out, they will probably have forgotten about it already

Well thanks to the wonderful advice on this thread I met my friend for coffee and we ended up having a real giggle about my prudishness and my taste in men. Many will not understand but I was brainwashed by my parents that girls should not lust after men or discuss anything sexual so IV always found any talk of men awkward.. my friend knows this and this is her way of normalising it for me. I think it has worked as I'm not ashamed to say it now.. Martin Clunes is a sexy man but if Jude Bellingham showed up id ditch Martin in a heartbeat. Thankyou everyone who replied, sorry I couldn't reply to you all ❤️

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 07/08/2026 16:10

Ah c'mon OP, loosen up a bit. I mean, Martin Clunes? Good actor but hardly an Adonis 🙄
Just style it out, they will probably have forgotten about it already

BettyJoanPerske · 07/08/2026 15:41

Viperregency · 07/08/2026 14:38

Poor Martin.

I mean I don’t fancy him but I’d certainly do him before I did either Gillian or Olivia, no offence to them.

Same! I don't understand this trend for straight women (and it is straight women, not bi ones) pretending to fancy random female celebrities. I am straight, which means I like men. The most beautiful woman in the world would not attract me, let alone Gillian or Olivia! (Gillian is pretty, but that's it!)

Chefpig · 07/08/2026 15:00

I think he's a hotty myself and I fancy him even more in Doc Martin when he's moody and bad tempered (or maybe I fancy the character too!). Don't be ashamed. He's attractive and intelligent. His series on the Australian islands was excellent!

Viperregency · 07/08/2026 14:38

BettyJoanPerske · 07/08/2026 13:23

You think that Martin Clunes is less attractive to a straight woman than Olivia Colman?

Poor Martin.

I mean I don’t fancy him but I’d certainly do him before I did either Gillian or Olivia, no offence to them.

Viperregency · 07/08/2026 14:37

Um mentioning a crush is not sex talk op. Although you’ve now taken it there,

im your age range, id take rhe piss for ever more if you fancied Martin clunes. And I’d not be able to look at you without thinking it. But it would be funny teasing, not Christ you’re a weirdo stuff.