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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hurt after friend mocked my celebrity crush?

189 replies

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:20

Hi MN, second time trying a thread so I hope it goes better this time. So a close friend has really annoyed me earlier this afternoon. I was with 5 of my friends from my village having lunch with a few glasses of wine. As usual the conversation started to get a bit silly towards the end. Someone started asking the girls who their celebrity crush was. Had the usual Hugh Grant, Benedict Cumber batch but when it came to me I felt awkward and blurted out Martin Clunes. I didn't want to be judged and say someone younger than me or someone out of my league so the first man that came to mind was him.
I think he's reasonably attractive and talented but the friend I feel closest too went into a fit of giggles and kept bringing it up for the rest of the afternoon.
A few hours later she put a picture of Martin in the church group chat and my DH noticed I was upset so I had to tell him.
He found it amusing and doesn't seem to care but I feel betrayed and hurt that my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed at lunch.
She's usually so nice and caring but iv seen a nasty side today but my adult daughter said it's just banter and to let it go.
I feel like messaging her and cancelling weekend plans.
IABU?

OP posts:
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ImpatientlyWaitingForSummer · 18/08/2026 20:26

Really similar situation that I had, it was in a WhatsApp group chat with three friends and I said that mine was Alan Sugar, what ensued was an onslaught of piss taking followed by multiple photos of him doing his trademark “point”! By the time the piss taking was finished I literally had laughing tears streaming down my face, it’s part of having a friendship group! That was over five years ago and I still sometimes get called Mrs S now…

Ladyfromthehill · 18/08/2026 18:09

GingerDoris · 10/08/2026 15:23

This sounds like normal friend behaviour. My friends all have some utterly bizarre crushes. It always has us giggling at taking the piss. It makes us laugh as you realise women like such different things and often they are miles away from what anyone wpukd expect. I would make him your profile picture on social media. The more you lean in and don't care the less the piss taking. 😆

It's normal behaviour if everyone does it and you are cool with that. It's not banter but bulling if someone is the butt of the joke and doesnt enjoy it, which OP clearly isnt and the 'friend' is going overboard.

GingerDoris · 10/08/2026 15:23

This sounds like normal friend behaviour. My friends all have some utterly bizarre crushes. It always has us giggling at taking the piss. It makes us laugh as you realise women like such different things and often they are miles away from what anyone wpukd expect. I would make him your profile picture on social media. The more you lean in and don't care the less the piss taking. 😆

ByUniqueViper · 09/08/2026 21:25

My friends and I would have a good laugh about something like this. You need to lighten up and not take life too seriously

Urgentbiscuitrequired · 09/08/2026 21:04

I wouldn't worry OP. I.posted on the other thread that I fancied Dan Cruikshank and Tony Robinson about 20 years ago in my 20s. I always had a bit of a soft spot for Baldrick.

Ruthdpl · 09/08/2026 20:33

Martin Clunes? When Barack Obama and Yungblud are in the world? I think you’ll need to aim higher OP.

PloddingAlong21 · 09/08/2026 20:12

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:01

I have learned my lessons and I am listening and respecting the advice of the wonderful people on here. Last time was disastrous and embarrassing but tonight's has helped me immensely. I hope last time I did not offend you personally and if so I'm very sorry.

Dying it know what your other thread is. I have zero clue how to look for it

Dery · 09/08/2026 18:56

Since watching The English (Emily Blunt/Chaske Spencer), i would say Chaske Spencer. That said, i was so in love with and devastated by that show, that it was months before i was willing to accept that the character he played, Eli Whipp, wasn’t real and that i was in fact watching Chaske Spencer.

Silvercoconut · 09/08/2026 18:40

My daughter is not yet 30, and her crush is Mandy Patinkin! (CSI)
I'm 62 so quite agree

TheBossOfMe · 09/08/2026 17:26

HumbleHun · 07/08/2026 00:01

I have learned my lessons and I am listening and respecting the advice of the wonderful people on here. Last time was disastrous and embarrassing but tonight's has helped me immensely. I hope last time I did not offend you personally and if so I'm very sorry.

Don’t be embarrassed by your last thread, it gave me a much needed laugh on the night, and you were extremely brave to come back and apologise the next day. Most people don’t do that, you’re clearly a thoughtful person.

Your friends sound lovely and clearly love you very much. Sounds like your DH is a lovely guy as well. And there’s nothing wrong with having a strange celebrity crush - the world would be a very boring place if we all fancied the same people.

Travsmam · 09/08/2026 17:18

What?????? WHAT?????? Grow up FFS!!!!

CoraPirbright · 09/08/2026 17:08

DahliaDelights · 06/08/2026 23:31

my close friend is mocking me even after she knew I was embarrassed

this is the reason, forget Martin Clunes, she is mocking you despite seeing your earlier embarrassment, have you told her to quit it, its done, enough?

Is this normal behaviour, repeated? the mockery?

I think this is the point for me. To have a laugh and tease you in the moment is fine and part of a usual friendship ribbing. However to keep going on about it hours later when you are clearly embarrassed is unpleasant.

(Btw, whilst he is not for me, I do think MC has a lovely warmth about him that is very appealing so you are totally not wrong!!)

PeopleWatching17 · 09/08/2026 17:06

Beautifulhaiku · 09/08/2026 13:25

Mine is Greg Davies. Some people think I’m mad and others completely get it. Sexy and funny 👌 Practice not giving a fuck and one day you’ll realise you actually don’t.

Oh yes.

PeopleWatching17 · 09/08/2026 17:06

brisamarina · 06/08/2026 23:29

Mine is Wayne Rooney and I’m not bothered who knows. Do you feel any better now OP?

I do 🤣🤣 Mine is Roy Keane!

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 17:03

Tbh your friend sounds like a bit of a dick and probably picked up on your insecurity, and exploits it for her amusement. Give it back to her, post a photo of whover she named and put a laughing emoji and 'look who's talking'. And then forget it.

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 17:02

CharlotteSometimes1 · 06/08/2026 23:47

I’d actually take it as a compliment, you only tend to tease friends like this when you feel very comfortable with them.

Or when you dont respect them.

SunshineAndFizz · 09/08/2026 16:46

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:34

I think he's good looking and I love him in doc Martin but I'm not extroverted with personal things like this so I went with a safe option. There are men that make my knees tremble but if be very uncomfortable revealing that as they are decades younger

Just own it. Anyone brings him up just say ‘yeah I think he’s great’ and move on.

OchreReader · 09/08/2026 16:42

Loulou4022 · 08/08/2026 10:17

Mine was Martin Shaw when he was in Inspector George Gently! 🥵 He must be 30 years older than me!!

I loved him as judge John Deed 😂

Beautifulhaiku · 09/08/2026 13:28

I laugh along with people while also doubling down on my opinions, but also secretly I think having eg Brad Pitt as your celeb shows a lack of imagination 🤣

Beautifulhaiku · 09/08/2026 13:25

Mine is Greg Davies. Some people think I’m mad and others completely get it. Sexy and funny 👌 Practice not giving a fuck and one day you’ll realise you actually don’t.

amyds2104 · 09/08/2026 13:24

I used to have a crush on Ian hyslop who is about 40 years older than me hahaha!

BillieWiper · 09/08/2026 13:20

It is funny to fancy Clunes. He's not exactly Clooney. But it's all in good humour.

You're a grown adult. Surely the days of being upset that someone doesn't fancy the same member of Bros/The Beatles/NKOTB as you are very much in the distant past?

NoDrums · 09/08/2026 13:18

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:38

Well that's why I'm upset that it has carried on hours later and on a message group. I felt uncomfortable at lunch but brushed it off but bringing it up 3 hours after we went home upset me.

I think she just found your choice of crush very funny. I wouldn’t read so much into it, the way this poster said. You sound like you’re very sensitive and it’s fine to feel uncomfortable talking about crushes but it really doesn’t sound like your friend was trying to be mean.

I love Doc Martin but Martin Clunes?? 😊

Lurkingonmn · 09/08/2026 13:12

HumbleHun · 06/08/2026 23:52

Wow! You said what I'm embarrassed to say out loud. Ok you have inspired me . I fancy Martin Clunes and would let him do what he pleases with me in the bedroom 🤭

I'm so glad you felt able to write and share that. You seem lovely. It is banter but I can see that your know you find it uncomfortable and are working on yourself. Maybe let your friend know you how you felt and that you wish your were able to open up a bit more. Glad you asked on here and got some positive support too.

EmmaB1309 · 09/08/2026 12:47

I agree with you daughter. You are way overreacting.
But why on earth did you not just say your actual crush instead of one you thought would be more acceptable? It doesn’t matter if they are ‘out of your league’ although it might be worth unpicking why you think that. Of course most celebrities are inaccessible to us little people because they live a totally different life and run in certain circles, but they aren’t ’out of our league’ in terms of their looks, brains or personality.

Im never gonna date Ryan Gosling but I still crush hard on him 😊