Am I cooking shit or being stingy??

@gayestgal is projecting a lot of her insecurities here and it's derailing the thread.
It is obviously not 'nasty' to offer 2 choices of breakfast and homecooked meals on a free holiday? But I have been called names by SIL who is very overweight, I think it is called "skinny shaming" on here sometimes.
What you have offered is fine OP and they are rude and ungrateful. It is a shame because when I experienced very similar it caused a long term cooling of the relationship which was a shame. Yes, I gave a free holiday, DH and I cooked all week and then then slagged us off to all and sundry who told us what had been said. This is how people are, and I am sorry your kindness has been taken for weakness and you have been treated so shabbily.
I hope you enjoy your Paella :)

They are incredibly rude. I’m not surprised you’re fed up. It’s your holiday too and if they don’t like the food, they can do their own thing. Do they honestly think you’ll be cooking every meal for them to turn their noses up at? That’s just daft if they do!

There’s nothing wrong with your food or your use of recommended portion sizes. You eat well and sensibly.
There’s everything wrong with the attitude of your sister, her husband and child. They have no right to expect you to skivvy and provide food to their sole satisfaction. To add insult to injury your sister’s now making you feel guilty that she can’t afford to shop locally. They’re ungrateful, rude, appalling and grabby CFs.
Your husband let you down badly and compounded the insults. I’d reproach him for this. Don’t let him take you for granted or humiliate you.
Apart from your DC they have all disrespected you.
Just cook for yourself and your DC from now on. Then perhaps they might appreciate you.
Resolve never to be so generous with a free holiday for them in future.

Who said its nasty to offer the food choices the op has?

What insecurities, who said I am insecure?!

Youre making stuff up really. And, I answered the op's question. The thread hasnt been derailed at all, i am responding to those who feel the op is not being unreasonable, where as I think she is being unreasonable.

Sounds like youre projecting because of your reference to your sil's body type.

Nope, this is a standard serving

No but

Bologneise for 6, with 600g mince padded out with loads of veg and mushrooms, is going to be watery.

Providing a good, properly done bolognese with enough pasta and garlic bread availsble to feed a small nation, is good hosting for your guests. A few good meals on holiday doesnt a stodgy diet make.

The op was unreasonable in her meal offering, the family could've done things differently also.

They are incredibly rude and I wouldn't cook for them either.

The portion sizes might be a bit on the small side, especially if they're used to eating more. But there and many more polite ways they could have discussed that with you.

Bloody hell! No good deed goes unpunished, as Elphaba says! 😂

YANBU at all.

They are extremely cheeky fuckers. If I’d got a free holiday I’d be expecting to contribute more than half of the food, to share the cooking 50:50 and certainly not complain.

And your DH joining in with them is something else!

The only thing is I’d do 100g pasta per person (excluding small children) but that’s a minor detail

We get the picture that you want a big load of fatty, sugary crap. You'd be the perfect host for the SIL and her family.

Perhaps even a beige buffet?

@gayestgal "Honestly - if you have to break down the calorie contents of PORRIDGE offered to your guests - you are not being a good host.
Next time op, head to waitrose (or aldi) and pick up a load of breakfast stuff
Pastries
Pancakes
Bread
Bacon
Eggs
Sausages
Tomatoes
Black puddding if thats your thing
good butter
Fruit
Jam and marmalade
Lots of juice
Tea
Coffee (if youve got a machine/cafetière) - if not, offer to uber eats in a Starbucks"

I can't work out if you're being tongue in cheek or not. I seriously hope you are. Because otherwise it seems you actually think that the OP should not only pay for her sister's holiday but also feed her sister's husband and two kids for the entire week without a single contribution from them (which wasn't the deal). Not only that but she should also have the decency to head to Waitrose and buy quality ingredients to offer them a full English breakfast every day, including fruit juice, and naturally round it off by ordering Starbucks coffee for everyone. I mean, what the actual fuck.

All my food is well cooked, diverse and flavoursome. I like hosting so have a good time sourcing good ingredients etc

No beige crap in my home. You do know that eating food other than granola and mushrooms does not make you 'beige'

But quick (or fake) Bolognese is supposed to be made with vegetables. You start off by making a sofrito of sautéed onion, celery and carrot.

It was 600g plus mushrooms, bacon and vegetables with garlic bread as a side. Hardly stingy. Standard guide on dried pasta for an adult would be 75g per serving. And no point making enough for "seconds" if they were being rude about the "firsts".

OP your food sounds amazing, tasty and more than enough - dare I say it's a bit "above them"? Are they more takeaways, ready meals and trays of doughnuts types? Sod them, you do you and let them see to themselves food wise. And as for how they are speaking to you, I cut that off too - be nice or go home.

You’re very kind and doing them a generous favour. They are rude, entitled and poor parents.
I wouldn’t book them another bite.

Thats not what I said - i have repeatedly said that the guests should have insisted on buying the food, should offer to cook half the time.

But yes, you'd be a good host and offer this, imo, as youve invited someone to your rented holiday home.

Had she invited them to a hotel, I would be saying something different.

I don’t understand how vegetables (including mushrooms) make something watery!

I’m a vegetarian and my food isn’t watery - I always have to watch my bolognese to make sure it doesn’t go too thick. And when I used to make pasta sauces with a mix of meat and some veggies it still wasn’t watery! It’s only watery if you put loads of stock and then don’t take the time to reduce it, surely?

Porridge and mushrooms make you 'above' someone?!

No need to look down your nose at people

I think its the family who are the problem and are being ungrateful and rude. If they don't like it then buy and cook their own, you have given them a free holiday, you can't be expected to supply everything else as well surely?!

we get it, YOU are the sister.

It's more than acceptable to look down at people as rude as sister and her family are.

Op your food sounds delicious & just the sort of food we cook. It was incredibly rude of them to complain about what you are paying for & cooking for them.
You say they had already bought their weeks shopping & it was mostly frozen. What do they normally eat in a typical day? Was there no meat, fish, fruit, veg, carbs they could have brought with them? If this is the case then your delicious , healthy food must have been a shock for them.
En joy your paella.

They are being rude BUT the spag Bol portions seem very small tbh.

I don’t understand why they can’t shop and cook alternative evenings. It really isn’t fair for one person to do it every day.

I am not 🤣

I have hosted people and so offer advice on that basis

And it really isnt okay to imply that someone isnt as good as you because they want feeding on their holidays

Absolutely. But not mushrooms and 'various veggies'. Mushrooms in Bolognese are more contentious than pineapple on pizza, and the sort of ingredient that many people (especially kids) went like. Bolognese shouldn't just be used as coffee for beefy pasta sauce with random other ingredients thrown in.

Personally, I think mushrooms in Bolognese are an abomination! And not even having a loaf of bread for toast at breakfast is IMO odd.

If I was catering for another family as well as my own, I'd discuss the meal plan and dietary stuff in advance personally.

This doesn't excuse the rudeness of the SIL and family though.

I learned from an Italian chef how to make proper ragu (bolognaise). For depth of flavour it has mushrooms, celery, carrots, herbs and pancetta as well as meat tomatoes and onions. That’s the correct way to make it. What’s often offered up in the UK bears NO resemblance.

The proper italian chef i knew would be disgusted, and states that only a soffrito is the veg needed.