Came across partners “cons” list about me. What to do

Agreed, just talk to him.

I would never get over it. I would bin him to be honest.

I agree with @QuintadosMalvados . You'll never get over this. It is slowly going to destroy you with the years. Some places you can never come back from.

Get out now while you are still young enough to go out dancing (although I'm almost 60 and I still go); have fun; and meet someone who loves you for yourself. The future with this list maker is grim.

Surely the early days are when you're crazy attracted to each other? And that can grow into a deeper love and passion/attraction, or it can tail off. I've never heard of it going the other way in a full blown relationship. I know attraction can and does grow from initially dating someone, but you were in a proper relationship at the time he wrote that, yes? (Albeit one that had just ended or was just ending)

I haven't rtft so apologies if this has been said already. But I'm amazed everybody thinks he accidentally left this out. This diary was the only thing left on the floor? - what a coincidence! Ripping out the page to draw your attention to it. And just to make really sure, he put your name at the top of the page!
Which suggests a tonne of messing with your head is heading your way.

Sorry OP I understand that it's a genuine dilemma when you've been loving the relationship for a year but when you say you need to know whether this was a fleeting opinion or a sustained one it does make you sound a bit desperate. If someone said they thought you were an awful person and they disliked you would you reply 'oh but do you always think I'm an awful person and dislike me?'

The most charitable view I can think of is that he was hurt and angry about the breakup (even though he was in full agreement with the breakup) and trying to convince himself that he didn't like you. That's why everything was listed on the negative side (ie no positives listed).

If I was in your shoes, it would be a red flag to me that:
(A) he talked about me like a horse he's about to reject at the marketplace. That is cold and dehumanising.
(B) he focused on my appearance and sexual attractiveness.
(C) he wrote, "I'm not sure I'm proud of her".

B and C, and perhaps A as well, are born from misogynistic thinking about women. That our looks are the most important aspect about us, and that he wants to show you off to other men as a trophy, to show that he is capable of pulling a better bird than them.

THIS is what would make ME pause: it reveals an underlying misogynistic thinking that usually goes hand in hand with problematic exploitative entitled "I'm the Prize" behaviours.

OP, obviously you should talk to him. And you shouldn't be defensive about you reading it, you found it accidentally and pretty much no one would NOT read something like that in that setting. You should not go into that conversation feeling defensive, he'll jump on that and might gaslight you into trying to ignore what he wrote.

I am sure he will earnestly assure you he was just angry/upset/bla bla and he doesn't think those things now. Lots of love bombing and assurances.

BUT what he wrote shows a misogynistic mindset. If you decide to give him another chance, keep your eye out. Don't fall too strongly, keep your wits about you.

Agreed. But why would he want her to find a list dated a year back if he'd rather make sure she confronts him? If he intended the list to be found by making it stick out of a book left behind that's neurotic enough but the old date makes it unnecessarily complicated.

Is he hoping she decides to keep it to herself and work on that list?

Tbh, actions speak louder than words. I would genuinely judge him on how he's acted in the last year than what he wrote down during a time that was turbulent and he possibly not living in the present.

People write down as much crap as they say. The written word is no more or less honest or insightful.

Just to give balance, where there instances during that period when he did or said something and you've questioned whether you fancied him or liked him?

I think you will need to be honest about seeing the list. All you have is your gut instinct. The way he reacts I think will be the answer to whether you are able to put it behind you or not.

But fwiw, I do believe that attraction can grow. If he was on the rebound, it's likely that his head was elsewhere. And when you split up, he could have realised he'd been a fucking idiot.

I can imagine the transition from one person to another if you're autistic, is harder.

Good luck, whatever the outcome. X

I think the list was genuinely written a year ago. However, he's probably a bit fed up of being the nice boyfriend and remembered the list and instead of getting rid of it as you would if you were really bothered about the relationship he's left it out either to put her in her place or get out of that marriage and children they've been contemplating.
If OP was my daughter I'd really struggle with what advice to give. I'd have a really bad feeling about it, but would worry about calling time on an apparently happy relationship.

I’m truly sorry if you’ve already answered this as I know you’re having to repeat things, but were you sleeping together at the time you were slowly breaking up? Because this was his attitude to you then, and if he was still having sex with you when he didn’t fancy - or frankly even seem to like you as a person - I also think that’s a problem even if he seems to like you now.

Ignore this loon. Utterly overinvested in this thread, multiple hectoring posts, loudly determined to dominate you, basically heckling you to force you to agree. Just ignore.

I really think you just need to have an honest conversation with him. If he is sincerely contrite, embarrassed, and able to say that these were not his true feelings then ok,. If he is defebsive, rude, or DARVO’s you and blames you for the lust then you cut the relationship iff.

Only this 'loon' is saying what the majority are saying so not such a loon, eh? 😁