DH's comment about my bikini has really knocked my confidence

I disagree, I don't find swimsuit flattering at all, and bikini look better, but it really does not matter.
I don't think anything when I see people, I look at what they are wearing to see if I'd like to buy the same or not .

It's swimwear, designed to hide your bits and comfy - or glam enough to look like you are out of a fashion shoot, who cares. It doesn't change, or hide your actual shape. You can add a bit of padding if you want more boobs or butt, but no one looks like they're smaller than they are when they're wearing swimwear. They might think they do, but they are literally standing just there with no clothes, what do they think people actually see?

I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes

Is that physically possible?

Anatomy lesson required.

EW No. just no. I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes any more than I wish to see a man's ball sack or dick sticking out through his clothes.

Good grief, what is wrong with you? noone wants to see that.

I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes

Is that physically possible?

I’m a size 8 and I think a beautiful swim suit is much more flattering, I don’t really get the bikini love.

I have both of these from Reiss and a third one which is seafoam colour also from them, the structure is fabulous, they look amazing on, and way more eye catching and flattering than any bikini.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su612576/f22238

https://www.reiss.com/style/su889258/y25152

Fancy a woman appearing like the shape of a woman!

But it's OK for men to have a visible package in that area!

I’d want my husband to tell me if I didn’t look nice in an outfit, but if you’d rather your husband not tell you then this is the perfect time to discuss it so he won’t tell you again. I’d tell my husband if his clothes looked tight and were digging in, I would be telling him matter of factly not in an unkind way.

Why should he apologise when the issue is OP having an unreasonable response to his comment? He hasn’t done any wrong and plenty of people value a partner having an honest opinion, me included. If I look bad in something I expect him to tell me and vice versa. The issue here is OP sensitivity.

Yeah that’s something I never thought I’d need to say but MN is a constant surprise!

eh no, it is never ok to show the outline of your genitalia, I’m stunned you think it is, man or woman, it’s a no, and if you’ve a bit of that going on, then you need to stop

as the age old saying goes, just say no to camel toe.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

No, it’s absolutely not okay for men to wear trousers so tight that it gives a full outline of their genitalia either. Why would it be? And what sort of men are you hanging out with if you are making that comparison?

Fancy a woman appearing like the shape of a woman!

But it's OK for men to have a visible package in that area!

Fancy a woman appearing like the shape of a woman!

But it's OK for men to have a visible package in that area!

Really? You don’t think that the people around you can give an assessment on whether a bikini fits properly? The OP said it was too tight, and her partner confirmed it. What’s wrong with that?

I once told my wife that a particular cut of trouser she was trying on gave her camel toe. Should I have kept quiet and risk her being embarrassed in public?

I feel very mixed on this. Of course he shouldn’t have made that comment, could have put it more kindly and also if you’re happy wearing it OP and felt good that is all that matters.

However, it’s really really rare for anyone to genuinely look good in a bikini (rather then another type of one piece/set) over a size 10. If you’re very tall it is maybe different, but as a fellow shorter woman who changes shape/size with every 2lb gained I know that’s true for me.

i have gone from a 6/8 to a size 12 in the 18 years me and DH have been together. Middle age has hit my shape hard. I genuinely feel really good about myself in a swim set or a well fitted one piece. A bikini just makes me hyper aware of all the bits that have changed and I lose my self confidence immediately. Is that possibly what’s happened here, a bit?

What an odd response.

He said it was digging in and riding up, if that’s not too tight what is,

she raised her weight, not the posters or her husband,

and no one is sitting assessing other people’s swimwear. But let’s be honest, we all notice someone who looks very good or very bad, too small trunks or bikini, or a gorgeous costume or great figure,

no one said she’d to cover up. Inc her husband.

The voice of reason. That is what most couples do, and it is not 'nasty' to be honest, and stop your spouse from making a fool of themselves, looking silly in much too tight clothes.

So much bluster and projection on here. Husband tells wife her bikini is a bit too tight for her, after she admits she has gained a lot of weight - A LOT not a bit, she said so herself ... And she did ask for his opinion too, as he gave her a 'funny look' when she appeared in said bikini...

But somehow he is the monster. 🤔

He didn’t say it was too tight he said he was surprised she was wearing it.

it’s a holiday for godsake not a fashion show, people get hot, you should be able to wear whatever you want. I don’t need people around me on holiday to look any particular way because I’m focusing on my own stuff. I always assumed other people were also just doing there own thing.

Mumsnet now got me thinking people are sitting around assessing other peoples swimwear. The vast majority of people around Op wouldn’t care what she’s wearing by the pool so I don’t understand why it’s become such a thing about her weight etc. I have awful cellulity thighs (fairly sure I have a condition, it’s that bad ). Nothing which involves showing my legs is going to look good, literally nothing will make them appear nicer, should I have to keep them hidden my entire holiday?