DH's comment about my bikini has really knocked my confidence

Couldn't it be the other way around?

As i've already said above, there's a big difference between 'I think that looks a little bit tight', and (what he said) 'I'm surprised you're wearing that', which implies that it's ridiculous for me to wear it. That's what upset me. Its not like I was squeezing myself into something that was multiple sizes too small.

Also for people saying i 'badgered' him...are you seriously saying that if your partner gave you a very odd look and you asked them what was wrong and they said 'nothing', you'd just go 'oh, ok, it's nothing then'? Yes I asked him what was up, but there's tactful ways of saying things to someone. That's my point,

I'm aware I need to lose weight and i'm working on it, so I don't need people to tell me and advise me about that. Regardless of that, i'm still entitled to try and feel happy and comfortable while I do.

Are you missing the part where he pulled a face at the sight of her? That's how this all started. That's not tactful.

it sounds like he was actually trying to be diplomatic about it! That was tactful.
What did you want him to say?

You would have reacted even more badly if he had said it was tight, and he wouldn't be a decent partner if he had just lied to your face. You can see photos, mirror, you know what you look like.

i'm still entitled to try and feel happy and comfortable while I do.
no one said you were not, not even your poor DH

I guess it depends on body shape, as said I’m quite tall and slim, with an athletic build so I like how a swimsuit looks, I’m very similar build to the models at just under 5 ft 7 and an 8, with long legs and a short body. But when I’ve been larger I felt better in a bikini.

i agree no one looks smaller in swimwear, but it can make us look more stream lined if that’s what we wish. Often tummies can be an issue, ans a good swimsuit can smooth that area and also lift your bust, where as wirh a bikini that area is fully visible,

im not trying ri hide anything, I just think for me, they look more elegant and flattering,

You can be honest without being hurtful. It’s called tact.

I disagree, I don't find swimsuit flattering at all, and bikini look better, but it really does not matter.
I don't think anything when I see people, I look at what they are wearing to see if I'd like to buy the same or not .

It's swimwear, designed to hide your bits and comfy - or glam enough to look like you are out of a fashion shoot, who cares. It doesn't change, or hide your actual shape. You can add a bit of padding if you want more boobs or butt, but no one looks like they're smaller than they are when they're wearing swimwear. They might think they do, but they are literally standing just there with no clothes, what do they think people actually see?

I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes

Is that physically possible?

Anatomy lesson required.

EW No. just no. I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes any more than I wish to see a man's ball sack or dick sticking out through his clothes.

Good grief, what is wrong with you? noone wants to see that.

I dont wish to see another woman's vagina through her clothes

Is that physically possible?

I’m a size 8 and I think a beautiful swim suit is much more flattering, I don’t really get the bikini love.

I have both of these from Reiss and a third one which is seafoam colour also from them, the structure is fabulous, they look amazing on, and way more eye catching and flattering than any bikini.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su612576/f22238

https://www.reiss.com/style/su889258/y25152

Fancy a woman appearing like the shape of a woman!

But it's OK for men to have a visible package in that area!

I’d want my husband to tell me if I didn’t look nice in an outfit, but if you’d rather your husband not tell you then this is the perfect time to discuss it so he won’t tell you again. I’d tell my husband if his clothes looked tight and were digging in, I would be telling him matter of factly not in an unkind way.

Why should he apologise when the issue is OP having an unreasonable response to his comment? He hasn’t done any wrong and plenty of people value a partner having an honest opinion, me included. If I look bad in something I expect him to tell me and vice versa. The issue here is OP sensitivity.

Yeah that’s something I never thought I’d need to say but MN is a constant surprise!

eh no, it is never ok to show the outline of your genitalia, I’m stunned you think it is, man or woman, it’s a no, and if you’ve a bit of that going on, then you need to stop

as the age old saying goes, just say no to camel toe.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

But the shape of women’s (think leggings, think bums, think boobs) and men’s bodies can be seen through clothes (including a lot of men’s trousers); there’s nothing wrong in that. We are the shape we are.

No, it’s absolutely not okay for men to wear trousers so tight that it gives a full outline of their genitalia either. Why would it be? And what sort of men are you hanging out with if you are making that comparison?

Fancy a woman appearing like the shape of a woman!

But it's OK for men to have a visible package in that area!