DH's comment about my bikini has really knocked my confidence

Possibly. Wearing something that is now too tight, I think id welcome feedback.

Also bikinis are extremely unforgiving. Give me a swimsuit with a tummy control panel.

If your husband can’t be honest, who can? It’s good he didn’t want you out there looking silly or being ridiculed.

He didn’t body shame her, he said her bikini was too small for her, which it likely was.

if my husband gained a lot of weight and we went on holiday and he put on some trunks from before he gained and fhey were too tight I’d say something. I’d not see it as body shaming, as to do that I’d need to talk about his body, but damn right I’d say your trunks are too small for you, if they were, the fact he thought they were fine would be irrelevant to me, as sometimes we can’t see ourselves objectively, but there is no way I’d sit there with him in his too small swimwear thinking well if he thinks he looks good that’s all that matters

Honestly, yes, YABU. It doesn't sound like your husband was nasty, and you admit yourself that you wore an old bikini that fit your body when you were a bit lighter. You also admit that you looked just "okay" in it, so you already knew the bikini wasn't the most flattering. It sounds like you're not very comfortable in your current skin, so this kind of comment hits a sensitive nerve?

It sounds like he was trying to be helpful. Men often don't have the same emotional response to weight gain becasue they are judged far less for it compared to women.

Is there somewhere at the hotel to buy s new bikini if you don't feel comfortable in that one now?

I'm sorry it knocked your confidence OP.

To be fair to your DH it sounds like he didn't set out to give you unsolicited advice - yes he gave you a funny look but that's more of an involuntarily reaction to something that surprised him, but then you had to ask him multiple times for the reason behind the funny look, surely knowing it was about the bikini. He didn't say you looked terrible either, he said he thought it looked uncomfortable.

Sorry OP but he didn’t volunteer this information you pushed him to answer. It’s not fair for you to then blame him for what he said.
As much as it would knock my confidence I’d always sooner my DH was honest with me.

This feels like one in a series of recent threads more or less exploring the same theme - in particular the thread about a man telling his postpartum wife sex was feeling different.

I feel as though people are trying to relaunch similar issues under different lighting.

Is it better to communicate and be honest in a relationship, or do we have a duty to keep our thoughts to ourselves ...

Yeah, you can't press for an answer, and then be angry when you get one.

It is very difficult when someone you love and are close to gains alot of weight.
It's a very sensitive issue and
It can seem impossible to address without the person feeling upset.
I talk from experience.

The truth hurts sometimes op. He wasn’t cruel he just pointed out what you already knew.

You asked him for his opinion, twice, and are griping now that he’s given it to you.

Your confidence levels aren’t his responsibility. They’re yours. I’ve often worn things that DH would rather I didn’t leave the house in: I don’t give a shit. My body, I’ll wear what I want. He’s free to divorce me if I embarrass him that much!

I don’t buy the whole “ too tight” thing with bikinis. The job of a bikini is just to cover bits that need covering. Digging into fat bits is neither here or there .

I’d rather be told if something didn’t look right. Then i would decide myself if I was going to wear it or not. My partner is the same.

Tighter. That doesn't mean too tight or that she had to squeeze in to it.

I'm not sure that it does. What did he think would happen when he pulled a face at her?

If I wore something that didn't look right on me, regardless for whatever reason that may be, I'd rather my husband tell me.

You know you've put weight on, you admitted that the bikini looked tighter, so you probably already know it doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look great either.

Yes, your husband looked at you oddly, you asked what was wrong and he said 'Nothing' but you pushed him for more. He told you the truth, now you're cross that he told you the truth. He wasn't nasty or mean, he was honest. If you hadn't pushed him, I doubt he'd have said anything further.

Get a bikini in a bigger size.
Wear to pool.
Enjoy your holiday

But you did ask him, you insisted he told you.

Anyway, I really hope you don’t let this ruin the rest of your holiday and find a way to feel confident in your own skin

She also said that it was tighter, I believe. Her Husband was reluctant to tell her, and she had to push for him to say what he thought, that says a lot, imo.

This. Youre not so stupid you wouldnt realise it’s uncomfortable. 🙄 He made a mistake to comment and should be apologising.

It doesn't sound like OP was actually squeezing in to it though. She was comfortable and happy with how she looked which is ultimately all that should matter.

I can see why you’re smarting but I don’t think your DH meant to insult you - If you know you’ve gained quite a bit of weight you probably should have bought new swimwear that actually fit instead of wearing a bikini that you felt good in at what, two? sizes smaller and deciding to ignore the issue.

It sounds to me as if the bikini really did look too small and you need to first buy nice new clothes that fit you now (and then think about losing the weight if its making you feel rubbish).

I’m team DH here, he’s got your back and he’s trying to stop you wearing something in public that clearly doesn’t fit you anymore. You’d prefer he didn’t say something and you look ridiculous?

Nonsense. If my husband gained weight and something no looked good on him, I’d tell him. I’d expect him to do the same and be grateful for the honesty.

No. The OP states she had it a while, she has put on weight, and it was tighter than it used to be.

It’s great she felt comfortable in it. If she wants to wear it then absolutely she should, and she should tell her boyfriend that she feels good in the bikini and didn’t appreciate his comments. And continue to wear it.

But it is disingenuous to say that because she’s comfortable in it fits. And a partner who has seen her in the bikini when she was smaller, and presumably when the bikini fit as intended is going to notice too.