To find this view re autism frustrating

Einstein did not have autism.

it’s not a gift. Or a superpower.

DS1 is now 28 & autistic. He is highly intelligent and, as an adult, works in a job which suits his skills.

His school years were an absolute freaking nightmare. I don’t think either of us would call it a “gift” although he is now totally comfortable with who he is & what his limitations are socially.

I agree with you OP.
I'm Autistic. I have a high IQ. But my whole life I've felt like an alien from outer space.
I certainly don't see my Autism as a gift.

Gosh no I have an autistic 11 year old here and a NT 14 year old… 11 year old could do so much more if they weren’t autistic so capable but limited capacity due to being autistic - we support in all ways we can, co-regulating is exhausting for parents and for siblings too. It’s not an easy life.

The whole “gift” or “superpower” crap really annoys me.

DS encyclopaedic knowledge of trains and railways doesn’t come close to overriding his day to day struggles.

DD has autism. We refer to it as a gift because DD does. Intellectually she is in the top 0.5% of the country. It can be debilitating. Some days are a struggle. We build in techniques to deal with those days.

What we call it and how we deal with it is a matter for her and her close family / friends / whomever else she chooses.

Telling her she can't manage it in her own way and own it how she wants to is as bad as saying it's over diagnosed / everyone has traits yada yada.

I am autistic, and though I have a great many rare and unusual skills that many people are envious of, my life is very hard. I am currently trying to find work and I get interviewed but I don't get hired.

I just seem to alienate some people yet make deep friendships with many others. I don't understand social interactions or the proper things to say and the proper way to behave. It is very hard.

If you look at the responses to Barbie Doll with autism, many parents and professionals are frustrated. A friend with a non-verbal AuDHD son who needs to wear nappies at 8 and will never be able to attend mainstream school is really angry about the number of people who have been diagnosed with AuDHD recently, saying they when they were at school in the 90s/00s, not one of them would have been called autistic, and they can live lives her son never will.
Professor Uta Smith has concerns about how the term is used now, so it's worth reading about that too.
Apart from the "gift" trope, the idea that because one person with autism knows it's not appropriate to do/say something, all people with autism should be able to manage is quite prevalent.

By definition its a disability
And impacts people in different ways
It helps no one to minimise it.

Uta Frith

Also I highly disagree with deciding that people from the past have this or that disorder. Ive mused myself, dont get me wrong, in terms of the 'baddies' of the world, what went wrong, what was wrong with their psychology, why did they behave like this, I started a thread about it.

But in terms of people like Einstein and Newton, people are trying to put an ND condition on them to prove some sort of point, not out of curiosity for their characteristics. Its appropriation at its worst.

Thats fair enough
Its when peoole generalise it becomes problamatic.

Oh yes - being crippled by social anxiety is a total gift (sarcasm)

being unable to communicate with others is a total gift (sarcasm)

having serious sensory difficulties that make sounds, touch and smells intolerable is a total gift (sarcasm)

feeling like a complete freak and never fitting in is just a gift wrapped up in beautiful paper with a bow on it (sarcasm)

could go on and on but basically autism is not a gift. It is a challenge and a daily struggle.

Well your friend is pretty ignorant then and clearly misogynistic to boot. The way autistic women and girls present differently is now quite rightly recognised in the autism and adhd diagnosis process and you can now quite rightly be diagnosed with both. Autistic women and girls were very much there in the 90/00s.Uta Frith has been quite rightly criticised and pulled up on her awful misogynistic views by those in the field, researchers and charities.

My son has autism. He’s doubly incontinent and non verbal. Im not sure many people would consider that a gift.

I agree. Calling autism a “gift” may be well intentioned, but it can overlook the profound challenges and lifelong support needs many autistic people experience. Autism is a spectrum, and recognising individual strengths should never mean minimising disability or struggle.

A friend with a non-verbal AuDHD son who needs to wear nappies at 8 and will never be able to attend mainstream school is really angry about the number of people who have been diagnosed with AuDHD recently, saying they when they were at school in the 90s/00s, not one of them would have been called autistic

@Pistachiocake while your friend has unenviable struggles, the fact that so many of us went undiagnosed in that period is a failing on the part of parents/teachers/professionals etc.

A friend of mine was disruptive at school, so the school moved heaven and earth to get him support. I got nothing, signs were noticed but ignored. Now in my 30s and aware of it (even if I can't get a diagnosis because the waiting list extends into years) I wonder how much better my life would have been if I had at least understood why I struggled.

My niece is autistic. Non verbal, developmentally delayed. She will never live independently. Her mother’s life is completely dominated by caring for her (she does go to a special school). She’s 16 now with all the hormones that involves. It’s not a gift.

I wouldn’t give up being autistic. It’s fantastic. I love the way my brain works. Sure, there are rough moments, but the good far outweighs the bad. Being normal looks miserable.

When people disparage being autistic, I absolutely feel the need to speak up because it implies people like me aren’t capable. Many of us lead highly successful lives by multiple measures of success.

Really though these conversations always come down to on key problem. Asperger’s never should have been merged into Autism. At most it should have been given a new name.

@Ponderingwindow would you see yourself as having what used to be called Asperger's then?

I find it interesting how more people I know view themselves as neurodivergent than not now. This includes self diagnosis.

“Being normal looks miserable”

😂 right…

For many amazing people autism makes them who they are.. in the same way that other disabilities make people who they are. But it’s not a gift, it’s the hand you have been dealt.

Asperger’s never should have been merged into Autism. At most it should have been given a new name.

Agree 100%.

I spent an entire career teaching severely autistic children in a special school. The support groups that had been a lifeline to many of the parents, now exclude them, because they've been taken over by those whose autism doesn't disable them in such a fundamental way. Anyone going to the groups local to the school and mentioning how horrendous their home life is, is talked over, argued with and made to feel that they're giving autism a bad name.

Trying to merge the two types was a huge mistake. Simply renaming Asperger's would have avoided pitting those adults whose intellect and cognition is less affected, against the parents of those profoundly affected in multiple areas.

I agree many autistic people are “gifted” I certain areas but I don’t believe autism is a gift.

ie if you were to write a list of pros and cons of autisim in a particular person, there may be a few pros (e.g. extremely analytical, good with numbers, amazing memory etc). However, I’m sure these would be more than outweighed by the “cons” -
ie the difficulties that person experiences in day to day life and the social side of things.

therefore, overall it’s not a gift and not many people would choose to have it. However, there are some positives and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating them

It does wind me up. I think they need to break up the spectrum more specifically. Someone like your niece or my brother should not be referred to with the same medical term as someone who is a bit awkward and likes making lists.