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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my sister pay half?

51 replies

loggerlikesweet261 · 04/08/2026 18:03

I am looking after my nephew (age 5) during the holidays for my sister as she has no other childcare. She lives an hour away (approx.) I was taking him home on Sunday and he projectile vomited in the back of my car - really bad.

My sis cleaned it as best as she could when I got to her house, and then when I came home my husband used our VAX cleaner to proper clean it. But, the smell is lingering.

I’ve booked the car in for an interior valet this weekend. Unsure what the cost will be. I’ve told my sister and I kind of expected her to at least offer to pay towards it? But no such offer was made. I don’t want to make things awkward so I will just pay for it but I was wondering what the majority would think in this situation?

YABU - it’s your car, you pay
YANBU - it was your sisters kid who was sick, she should offer

OP posts:
TheOwlShootAtNight · 04/08/2026 18:04

Sister should pay for all of it. I would consider it rude that she did not offer it already.

Goditsmemargaret · 04/08/2026 18:06

Well one pov - he got sick on your watch so arguably you caused it unintentionally obviously.

However in the real world you were doing her a favour so unless she was paying you market rates I'd expect her to reimburse.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/08/2026 18:07

I'm embarassed for her.
She should absolutely pay for all of it.

Presumably she isnt paying you £250+ pw for services rendered..
She perhaps needs reminding of that

CoffeeBooksRats · 04/08/2026 18:07

Your sister should pay the full cost of this, not just towards it!!

gamerchick · 04/08/2026 18:08

I would actually pay for the whole thing tbh. No offering, just give me your bank details when you know the cost

Pedaling · 04/08/2026 18:08

You're looking after him all week including on the weekends and saving her a bloody fortune in childcare no doubt. The least she should do is pay for the car clean, she should also be paying for you to care for him too in my opinion. I also hope she didn't expect you to look after him the next day when he was a potentially unwell.

nomas · 04/08/2026 18:08

Tell her the cost and your bank details. If she doesn’t pay, no more childcare.

You save her a lot of money and she takes you for granted.

Notarsed · 04/08/2026 18:09

No she shouldn't pay half. She needs to pay the whole lot. It was her kid and you were helping her by looking after him. I'd be reluctant to look after him anymore in case he does the same thing again

outerspacepotato · 04/08/2026 18:09

I think she should pay the whole thing. You did her a favour and now your car needs work. It may be just cleaning work, but it needs to be done because his body fluids are stinking up your car.

Ladidahdi · 04/08/2026 18:09

Christ on a bike, if it was my child that had done that I would just have bank transferred the money straight away and got flowers and wine for her as well!

CaptainCalm · 04/08/2026 18:09

My child was sick in another parent’s car. I obviously immediately offered to pay for a professional clean.

How embarrassing from your sister

Shinyandnew1 · 04/08/2026 18:12

Free childcare for her.
Free vomit and self funded car cleaning for you.

Crap deal!

Gloriousgardener11 · 04/08/2026 18:13

No good dead ever goes unpunished !

But seriously if I was your sister I be stepping up and paying for the valet work.

Is she paying you for the childcare, it’s a big ask to expect you to do so much for your nephew especially an hour away.

Sartre · 04/08/2026 18:13

She should pay it all, she should have offered.

Fokouebiyemassi · 04/08/2026 18:15

does it everything gave to have money attached to it? It’s your nephew for the love of God. What next, charge your sister for your nephew’s lunch? I would not have offered to pay anything either, not because I am a cheeky fucker, because I wouldn’t expect my sister to charge me for the mess her nephew made. I am so glad I come from a family where we look out for each other without expecting anything in return. Your poor sister.

ohdear2 · 04/08/2026 18:15

I would buy an ozone machine off amazon and use that to help with smell.

Pungifries · 04/08/2026 18:20

She should pay all or, if she’s very short offer to come and throughly clean herself (I mean taking a few hours and proper cleaning products etc)

Pedaling · 04/08/2026 18:21

Fokouebiyemassi · 04/08/2026 18:15

does it everything gave to have money attached to it? It’s your nephew for the love of God. What next, charge your sister for your nephew’s lunch? I would not have offered to pay anything either, not because I am a cheeky fucker, because I wouldn’t expect my sister to charge me for the mess her nephew made. I am so glad I come from a family where we look out for each other without expecting anything in return. Your poor sister.

So the OP should be out of pocket just because it's family. Hmm Also of course his mother should pay for any mess he made and for his lunch, why should his aunt cover those costs.

Abustedflush · 04/08/2026 18:21

Can you afford it? Can she afford it?
Yes, she should offer, but these things happen.
Also, buy as much bicarbonate of soda as you can find and sprinkle it on the affected areas. Leave for a few days, then vacuum up the dried out residue.

CornishTiger · 04/08/2026 18:28

Why was he sick? Does he get travel sick? If so were your warned or given advice?

Was it a bug?

Did he have something that he struggles with food wise or using a tablet / device for travel that brings on motion sickness?

I would want more info before saying whether I’d pay!

CornishTiger · 04/08/2026 18:31

You need an enzymatic cleaner and baking soda.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/08/2026 18:32

Technically you haven't asked her yet and you haven't told her was the actual cost is.
"I’ve told my sister and I kind of expected her to at least offer to pay towards it? But no such offer was made."

She's waiting to see what you think.. So ask her.

It also depends on if you are babysitting for free.. and dropping him off an hours drive away - that's a two hour round trip for you. .. Was he sick when she dropped him off?

If she's not paying you anything and she can afford it, then I'd probably send her a copy of the bill.

She did help you to clear up the sick though at the time it happens... which shows willing, but you need a conversation to decide between you what's fair and what's not.

Lexy2345 · 04/08/2026 18:37

I’m surprised she hasn’t offered, it wouldn’t occur to me not to pay!

ShetlandishMum · 04/08/2026 18:39

I had offered to pay.

I wouldn't expect my sister to pay though.

m00rfarm · 04/08/2026 18:42

A normal valet will not get the smell out. It will initially, but every time the weather is hot, the smell will come back.

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