To find this entitled?

Totally agree with you OP. There's so much two-faced hypocricy on MumsNet. Look at all those who hang on their husbands' wages, now wade in with comments condemning what you said... You were right!

the person may be doing a great deal unpaid, either for immediate family, other family, or others. To say that it’s entitled to not be working all the paid hours one can seems quite blinkered to me.

Do explain how that makes the spouse entitled?

What does hang off their husbands wages mean? I haven’t worked for 14 years for various reasons & my husband earns enough that we live comfortably without me having to. He works a job he enjoys, still contributes to the domestic work & childcare. We have a happy, respectful partnership. Why would anyone outside our marriage have a right to judge this?

I suppose the criticism would be that you enjoy all the benefits of our economy (NHS, roads, schools, police, defence, justice system) but you don't contribute, even though you could if you chose to.

You are assuming that in this scenario the non working spouse is not a taxpayer.

So the only important contribution to life is paying taxes?
Some employed people are on such crappy low wages they don't pay tax.

In our case (we now live in Scandinavia) my husband pays at the highest tax rate & contributes more than the average joint income household & we also have private health insurance for both of us. So we are contributing as much as any other household & taking less than some.

we were pretty much the same living in the UK

So were we pre moving. I personally find it really sad that women are criticising the way other women live when it causes no harm to them & they have no idea about what led to it or what contributions these woman make to society beyond working traditional jobs.
To describe other women in the terms used by some posters in this thread says more about them than anything.

I reckon its 50 50 jealousy and ignorance. people can't imagine successful lifestyles and partnerships that differ from their own and think therefore they must be bad

well you are allowed mat leave but after that back to the saltmines!

Exactly!

Do the saltmines pay more than minimum wage 🤔

no but you get free salt!

Excellent 🧂

I've never relied on any man for income and never will, worked since I was 16 and could cope perfectly well financially if DH vanished, but each to their own and other people's set up is none of your business! Why are you wasting valuable head space on it?

Workers contribute to the economy by their effort and their tax. The economy couldn't grow if we didn't all go to work.

I work freelance as and when it suits me. We can more than afford our lifestyle on my husband's salary.

He loves his job and isn't likely to get "sick of having to be the breadwinner". He's very fit, healthy and mentally robust, and his work isn't physically demanding so the chances of him not being able to work any time soon are minimal. And if he lost his job he would almost certainly get another one quite quickly given his level for experience and skillset. But if he didn't we have sufficient savings and investments to live on and I would of course work more in that case.

At the moment we value my being able to pick up and drop off school age kids every day and not having to stress about childcare during the summer holidays, as we have no family local to help us. Whereas money we have plenty of and we love within our means, no debt apart from our mortgage and we could definitely cut back further if needed.

I don't regard myself as "swanning about". I volunteer, I work, I did two years of study, I will be managing home renovations when they start soon, and I keep our household running smoothly during the week which means we have more leisure time at the weekends.

In short, we do it because we can and it works for us. And we have plenty of options if it stops working at any point. I'm not really sure why it's anyone else's business.

@malware What about investments? People pay tax on those too which contributes to the economy.

One of my friends isn't currently working, instead she's caring for her elderly Mum who suffered a massive stroke a few years ago and is now suffering from dementia too. Her Mum isn't particularly well off so her care would be partially funded by the state if my friend wasn't stepping in. She's not claiming Carer's Allowance, so her work is definitely saving taxpayers money.

Now her MIL is also having health problems and she's helping out there too. Some people do alot for society without getting a salary.

quote from Chairman Mao?

I work part time - my husband doesn't mind so I don't really care what you think really.

I guess you're talking about me to a certain extent. I'm an HLTA, I work 30 hours a week term time but obviously not in school holidays and I get paid peanuts, but I love it and I'm bloody good at it. I was a stay at home mum for 11 years until my eldest went to school. Don't and didn't claim any benefits. This is not me deciding to swan around on my husband's dime. This was a joint decision that we made that we didn't want the kids in child care. So I did all the child care, by far the greater share of domestic chores etc etc. Even now (youngest 14) as well as my 30 poorly paid hours I do all the shopping, most of the cooking, nearly all the cleaning and washing, I ferry the kids about, I sort any appointments (be that medical, dental, alarm service, boiler service etc). As soon as this didn't work for us anymore we'd change. The answer to what I'd do if my husband lost his job, quit/changed his job, left me, is I would quit my term time contract and get a full time better paying job. I don't think that makes me entitled and I don't know why you would be so bothered by it!?

So if you don't work you shouldn't get to use the roads or go to the hospital when you're sick or expect the police to help you when you need it?

If you don't contribute to society and the economy when you are capable of doing so, I think it's fair to say that you are relying on the efforts of others to carry you.

Of course you can use public amenities but you are doing it off the back of everyone else's hard work, and you might want to reflect why you don't feel you have to contribute.