To find this entitled?

We didn’t make the decision in isolation and looked at the risks;
all savings in my name
voluntary contributions to state pension
private pension
beneficiary of life insurance
Dh and I have been together for 38 years so splitting up seems unlikely, however should it happen we are both financially protected.

Then maybe you should be grateful they're not competing with you for jobs.

and I disagree with you.

Maybe it's a double standard, but so many women find themselves doing the wifework anyway whether they work FT or not, so maybe it's justified.
There are still a fair few men around who actively don't want their wives to work, and are happy to come home to clean house & dinner on the table, so I think it's unfair to make out she's sponging off her husband. Marriage is a partnership, with unpaid domestic labour done majorly by women being grossly undervalued by society (although not in the divorce courts, where it is seen as an equal contribution).

what has self respect got to do with it?

I personally love the fact my DH would be happy if I didn’t work at all and just took care of things at home, which I love doing. However I’m also lucky enough to absolutely love my job too so I work part time and so it’s the best of both worlds. Seems a silly question to ask what these women would do if their DH could no longer work or wanted to retire, left etc and they needed the money. They have clearly got themselves a professional career and if they needed to work more days of the week they could, I remember this being the case during the 2008 crash, we had many nurses who only worked 1-2 shifts a week who snapped up the overtime as their DH had been made redundant

same here. I too worked in the NHS (not nursing) and could easily have found more hours or another job. In fact when I went to my exit interview when I left for early retirement, I was actually offered another better paid job!! This was in the final week of my one month notice period. Our finances were such and DH's T and C's that we would have never needed for me to increase my hours or return to work after leaving.

This precisely, the OP see’s it as an issue of self respect but I would see it probably stems from her being so indoctrinated into the idea of the unpaid labour often undertaken by women is worthless. Also a very rigid idea of fairness that doesn’t necessarily result into what would actually make that couple happy

Exactly, I equally have had men admit to me that their wife working is more hassle then it worth and frustrating as makes undertaking their paid job and life generally more difficult and extra frustrating as she hates her job anyway and just doing it because of what people like the OP think

This is us, although we haven’t nailed down so much relaxed free time with our little ones yet. A similar approach however, in that it’s basically caring about each other’s happiness and not some rigid idea of what ‘we should be doing’ it does get frustrating at times as government policy seems set on trying to coerce both partners into earning exactly the same etc (e.g in the tax system) but ultimately it has served us well. My DH works long hours and some people say I’m really good to cope with that but equally he was supportive to me when I wanted to give up a job was finding too much and without the pressure to go out and pick up any job that just made us money, when the ideal job came along I was able to go straight for it. Helped also by the fact he’s been happy to retain the nursery place for our little one even though the plan was that I wasn’t going to be working, but just to give me a break. The waiting list otherwise would have made going for the job unviable. The job I do now means we’re much better off and minimal disruption to family life and he loves his job too

With all due respect you are not part of the group of women I am referring to.
I ment divorced or separated women. Women whose ex partners absolutely will not be sharing their ex’s pension, or any other pot of money he has accrued.
These women don’t have a pension built up. So they rely on the tax payer to fund them once they are single. And yes, I do object to working full time to pay for these people who have not made provision for themselves. Why should I go out to work whilst they don’t?

Pensions have been considered joint assets in divorce for decades.

Mmm this is not new information.

Ditto !

Well there we are then.

Lol 🤣

I'm sure there will be reasons for it, often to do with DC and needs, but also because they don't want the stress of FT permanent teaching.

It's like the discussions about sahms, those who can afford it and want to choose to. Same with those who can manage on zero hours roles, which enable flexibility, can choose this?

Sounds like you're jealous

I don't think anyone would tell you to leave him if that's was an arrangement you and your spouse agreed on. And presumably, since these 'entitled' people you are irked by are not posting complaints, they have agreed upon their living/working arrangements. You sound jealous and resentful.

You're making a lot of assumptions about other people in this situation. If the husband is ok with it and say the wife is taking care of the house stuff so he doesn't have to and the arrangement works for them why does it bother you so much that you feel like you need to post on the internet about it? You're assuming these women are just sitting around not doing anything. They could be doing other things with their time that you don't see. Maybe just focus on your own marriage instead of being judgemental of what others are doing with theirs.

I find it annoying that social workers I know can go on zero hours contracts precisely because their husbands can support them, because it encourages employers to continue to offer contracts that are precarious in nature. When it would be fairer to my mind to offer a part time contract with set hours that any one could apply for - that way newly qualified people could also find it easier to get a job too

Through a series of unfortunate life events including one of our children having cancer I haven’t worked for 14 years & my husband has been the sole earner but he doesn’t mind he does a job he enjoys, he is in top 5% of earners in our country (we now live in Scandinavia) so money is not an issue, he still does an equal amount of domestic work as me & enjoys doing school pick up or drop off whenever he can. Everything we own is in joint names & we have made sure I have a good pension. I am in no way entitled as you describe it & will always be incredibly grateful to my husband for taking on this responsibility. When we first met I was the higher earner & brought him his first proper suit, He always tells me & others I have contributed just as much if not more to our family as he values everything I do for him & the kids. So yes to me you are unreasonable & rather judgemental!

So I was extremely "entitled" then. Interesting. I didn't work at all when my then-h was working. He was a contract analyst/programmer and made excellent money when he was working, which was about 90% of the time. The few times he was between contracts, I worked when I could. But when he was in a contract, I didn't work at all. It's what we had discussed and decided upon. If I had realised that I had to get your approval beforehand, I would obviously have applied for it immediately... 🤦🏼‍♂️

Now, what IS entitled, is someone thinking their opinion matters or should be taken into account by anyone else at all....

Why do you care what other families are doing?
My parent makes a good amount of money so I don’t need to work. I choose to , but it’s only a few hours a fortnight in my own business.
I don’t understand why I would work full time and have my kids in care if I don’t have to?
Worry about your own life - that’s all That matters to you.