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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

143 replies

BeLimeViewer · 04/08/2026 15:47

A criminal one

OP posts:
frostinmayx · 04/08/2026 16:12

A family with an unhealthy life style (smoking, excessive drinking, drugs, unhealthy diet, inactivity.)

Doingtheboxerbeat · 04/08/2026 16:09

One where boundaries are a foreign concept and they just pop round at random with own keys etc and insert themselves in every facet of our lives.

augustusglupe · 04/08/2026 16:08

A stuck up one, with an even more stuck up MIL who looked down on everyone.

Cherrysoup · 04/08/2026 16:06

MindThePause · 04/08/2026 15:56

I don’t recommend marrying minor royalty from far, far away.

And Italian mother-in-laws who embody the stereotype are hard work. Top tip - Always wear a shower cap in case of sudden drenches of Holy Water from behind to “get Satan out” of you.

🤣 I used to stay at my aunt’s very frequently to help with her 3 dc-her DH worked away a lot. She used to have us all line up in the morning as I was taking them to school and bless us all with holy water from Lourdes. Hilarious!

This could be a very contentious thread and I’ll be very contentious. I’d say not a family with debilitating genetic issues although they may not be obvious if you’re of traditional marrying age or a very enmeshed family that can’t do anything without telling each other.

Ump · 04/08/2026 16:05

Most of the ones that are frequently the subject of a MN thread.

IronEverything · 04/08/2026 16:05

A poor family
A family with all sorts of half/step family members
A co-dependent family
A family with no sense of humour
A family who won't care for each others kids

saveforthat · 04/08/2026 16:05

One where the "culture" demands you act in a certain way (usually complying to the belief that women are second class citizens).

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/08/2026 16:04

A smelly one

Ferralraccoon · 04/08/2026 16:02

A MIL who has a weird obsession with her son. So much so she pretty much excludes you.

Flowerheads · 04/08/2026 16:02

Well, surely it depends whether you think marrying involves you joining a family? I don't particularly. I married one man, not his entire clan. I mean, I quite like many of DH's family, but they're not really anything to do with me.

TVDinnerandwine · 04/08/2026 15:58

I married for money, so a poor one

CinnamonBuns67 · 04/08/2026 15:57

My husbands family is the kind of family you wouldn't want to marry into. But thankfully DH is NC with them. Abusive, racist, interfering/controlling.

I also wouldn't want to marry into one that are so close that they're a bit co dependant on each other.

MindThePause · 04/08/2026 15:56

I don’t recommend marrying minor royalty from far, far away.

And Italian mother-in-laws who embody the stereotype are hard work. Top tip - Always wear a shower cap in case of sudden drenches of Holy Water from behind to “get Satan out” of you.

scatterolight · 04/08/2026 15:54

Families with divorce, kids by multiple dads, blended families, families where members have gone "no contact". Basically all red flags for marriage stability and family cohesion.

hellofrommyothername · 04/08/2026 15:52

One that didn’t value education

cannibalfish · 04/08/2026 15:51

A really close one. Weird but as someone with a fucked up family dynamic (and no contact) I don’t know how to act and feel very uncomfortable around big happy families. It all seems very fake, even when I know it’s not, and like some elaborate act.

I’d genuinely rather marry into a criminal family than the sort that have a group chat, go on family holidays, call eachother every day etc. I realise this is a me problem but it’s true.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 04/08/2026 15:50

A racist, sexist, homophobic or ablist one.

A criminal one.

An unkind one

An emotionally illiterate one.

An interfering/controlling one.

A cold, uninterested one.

JacknDiane · 04/08/2026 15:47

An overbearing mother in law