What sort of family would you not want to marry into?

An Animal hating rough poor family .

Ones with weird dynamics between mother and son. Dated some weird guys who wanted me to look like their mums! my DP and his mum have more of a friendly relationship and it’s very chill. I like it like that.

Spouters of Daily Mail type ‘facts’.

Why would they? I genuinely don’t understand why those on the left are so closed-minded. The fact that I am of a certain political persuasion doesn’t mean I have to surround myself with others who are of an identical persuasion. I am sufficiently motivated politically to have stood for the council, but that doesn’t mean my children can’t make up their own minds, and I know for a fact they’ve voted every which way. DH is definitely more moderate in his political opinions than I am, but that’s OK - you know, freedom and all that? I believe in upholding people’s rights to hold whatever opinions they like. And I couldn’t marry into a family where I had to toe the family line politically or in any other respect.. I’m a grown up: I’ll make up my own mind, thanks. Honesty and integrity are FAR more important than political persuasion IMO.

Dh is the exact opposite of
his family. If they didn’t look alike I would think he was a changeling. It’s extraordinary. So if the man is worth it and nothing like their bad characteristics this wouldn’t necessarily put me off. I do get MIL envy though some people have fantastic MILs. Sadly im not one of them!

1. one where no one works and has no ambition
2. an uneducated one
3. an overly religious family
4. one with criminals in the family

Preppers and conspiracy nuts.

"Traditional" patriarchal families from cultures that view women as support humans - and Daughters In Law doubly so.

People who value sport over culture. (Not that there's anything wrong, just incompatible) I briefly dated a guy whose family home contained no bookshelves and no DVDs other than about sports. I wasn't for him as I knew nothing about football and motorsport; he wasn't for me because we couldn't go to the cinema or swap books.

One where the MIL thinks you marrying her son means you become part of 'their' family rather than accepting he is choosing to make a new life with you in which she won't be playing a central role.

A family who aren't honest and moral

A family who don't have a work ethic and lack ambition

My family- a controlling man who is a convicted paedophile (stepdad) and a mum who thinks the sun shines out his ass (my mum). I have no other family, only child, no other extended family, just them. We are long since no contact. Poor Dh, I don’t know that he cares, maybe it’s easier having no in laws, but it does suck having no family at all on my side.

I married the man, not his family. I wouldn't have married him if he was a criminal/racist/homophonic etc. but his families opinions would be theirs, not his.

Apart from the obvious things such as racist and criminal, I’d hate to be connected to people who are uneducated and proud of it. I’m not talking about people who have missed out in life but want to improve their education.

A strict Muslim family especially one with parents/ siblings based abroad.

This thread makes me very aware of all the pitfalls of entering into my wider family :-/ it's actually opened my eyes as to why a few relationships have probably failed, to do with my family. Generations of dysfunction heaping up and up.

Isn't it crazy how the wider dynamic, the nurture style, can have such far reaching effects into.adulthood and further relationships? How it's maybe stupid to date the kind of person that wouldnt be put off by a dynamic like that. Kind of doomed from the start, especially if birds of a feather flock together.

I don't think it always has to be a red flag to date someone who has made the painful decision to distance themselves from such a family.. that takes real growth, insight and strength. The tricky bit would be knowing if they are still too damaged by their upbringing to be salvageable.

I don't mind a poor family. My worst nightmare would be a pretentious, snobby family. We are all humans at the end of the day.

Wouldn't go near a criminal family either.

Any family was a self imposed matriarch. I couldn’t be with a man who couldn’t say no to mummy

26 posts and no one has said ‘a family who votes Tory’?

One that didn't respect my independence and thought that families have to do everything everything together (birthdays, Christmas, holidays etc).... yuck!

One where they go on holiday to Benidorm and have big, drunken parties with punch ups at the end!

An unpleasant one.

My own.

I was going to lead with religious but... you know sometimes you meet a family and it quickly becomes clear that not one of them believes hand washing is a basic requirement for health and wellbeing? Also the family who all smoke and think it's cool. 😄

One where several members have autism or mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

One where the men are treated better than women.

A criminal one.

One where there are lots of children by different fathers and where divorce is common.

One where education isn't a priority.

One where people have a lack of ambition.

One where the members are really loud, brash and drunken when they get together.

One where they can't pronounce 'th' and speak with a really strong accent.

Hahaha admire the honesty! Same. Obviously not the only criteria but it was an important one. Money has the potential to cause so many problems, why not avoid that in first place? Your choice of partner is one of the few things in life that you have full control over so I don't see the logic in choosing a family that will not be able to help you out in any way or even worse, expect constant financial support from their own children.

And before people get their knickers in a twist, a shocking fact is that wealthy families can also be nice people. MN seems to equate wealth with people who must be horribly abusive or twisted and marrying for money gives you a life of misery. It's entirely individual. Rich people can be horrible or lovely, poor people can be the same. Statistically, you have a higher chance of experiencing unhappiness in a poor environment just due to the multitude of problems not having enough money brings.

One that didn’t value education. It is my core value.