To have walked out of the restaurant

I can't see anything wrong with taking a breather at all.

You do need to get a grip on them-not listening to more than one adullt telling them to do something is not something you want to encourage or even ignore.

My mother used to say "I'll put manners on you!" and by fair means and foul she did.
Thank goodness she did, as having manners and all that is associated with that was a wonderful gift to give to me-even if the acquiring of it wasn't always great.

It has made my life so much easier in the real world: to make sure that your children are well mannered, have an easy manner and are respectful is a gift that you can only give them in childhood but one which will bear much fruit as they progress through life.

Did you go off and leave your children to be dealt with by other people?

Er no the PP is being questioned on whether she flounced off leaving people who are not the children’s parents to look after her squabbling kids

Yes.
And?
Maybe read my earlier posts?

You know Nannies don't just exist in Mary Poppins, it's an actual job, in real life? From Norland to a childminder offering a one-to-one care(so being a nanny), they are a thing?

Why, do you think every mum on MN is a SAHM and nannies don't exist? looking at the abuse SAHM generally get on here, that's unlikely 😂

So what was your DH doing when all this was going on. Isn't he capable of wrangling his own kids? He should have got involved so that you didn't have to leave.

Exactly this.

why would anyone give the OP a hard time about this? honestly some people on this site are awful

So please clarify, did you storm off and leave your children to be looked after by people who are not responsible for them?

She left them with their Dad and Grandparents.
She says that in the thread.

My daughter can take control of a class of primary school children and babysits for a someone who three kids “run riot” and are behaved for my daughter who also gets them to clean their toys away so the parent comes back to a tidy house. I actually don’t know how she does it. Surely you can parent a 3 and 5 year old and get them to behave.

So does dh usually sit and do nothing when the dc kick off? Why is it your job?

That's a very coherent sentence from someone who can't even read.

You went outside to gather yourself and calm down. The children were with their other parent. It's fine, we all get overwhelmed sometimes! Don't be hard on yourself OP 💐

If there's other adults who are part of the immediate family, and it saves mum losing her rag completely, then surely stepping outside whilst leaving them attended to is a better option? Obviously there is some thinking to be done regarding handling future outings, situations and approaches, however that's for OP to work on.

I’m guessing the DH is useless and that’s why op feels overwhelmed with it all.

The thing about 3 and 5 year olds is that they won’t just ‘behave’. They have to be held by the hand and guided every step. So you set out the expectations before you begin -
‘you will hold my hand and Oscar will hold nanny’s hand - good boy’ (praise important!)
‘we will sit nicely and wait for our food’ (they may not at all - but you as the parent have spelled out the expectation and can say (in a stern disappointed voice) ‘that doesn’t look like nice sitting Ollie… please sit back and stop banging things …(death stare till they stop)… good’
‘ok, doesn’t this look yummy…WAIT, until daddy gives out everyone’s order - first take a napkin and a straw…’ etc etc.

It’s up to you both as the adults to set the parameters and acceptable behaviour. If your DH is not supporting you in this, I can see why you’d want to walk off in tears. But instead I think you need to practise in small ways at home with the boys, and reflect on your husband’s contribution and whether things can change.

Did you mean to be so rude?

Yes.

You should probably reflect on that

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. The bickering is enough to drive you fucking insane. Many a time on days out I declare ‘just need a wee!!’ And I clear off to the loo to get away for ten mins.

Kids behave very differently for their own parents, and presumably they are different with teachers than they would be at home.
Also, our stress levels are totally different.
To say you are a judgemental bit of work is an understatement. What has YOUR adult daughter got to do with a mum at the end of her tether? It's not a bloody competition you horrid old moo

Why, when you've been called out on being mean, and not getting the facts right?

When did that happen?

People were asking about who else was there assuming that was relevant but as their dad was there this is a complete non issue. You were perfectly fine to wonder off and do whatever you wanted whilst he patented his kids.

No more both sitting on the same side of the booth for them! One sits with mum and dad and the other with PIL.