To have walked out of the restaurant

It's not the stepping down I was commenting on, the beauty of having the 2 parents is that you can step away at any time, or go to the loo, or go and make a phone call or whatever you want to do.

It's how over-complicated everything had to be before people had a chance to know if it was BU or completely normal.

I hate threads where they don’t put relevant info in the OP, then it has to be dragged out of them bit by bit in the comments.

I was at a play area with my three and five-year old. When we sat in a booth, they immediately started arguing over whose food and drink was whose and wouldn’t move up so I could sit down, despite me asking repeatedly. Before I lost my temper, I stepped outside for a minute. They were with their dad and grandparents, so three adults were with them the whole time.

If you’re asking if YABU leaving kids in a restaurant, you obviously need to tell us their ages and with whom you left them. It’s really not that hard.

Right?!

I know MN is all about threads about nothing but this is really a thread about nothing.

Kids play up.

Mum (I assume) gets annoyed and walks out and leaves them with other 3 adults to sort.

And?

Why would you be unreasonable leaving kids with their dad

Was this really worth a thread

Try not to be a shouter. Then when you do yell, it shocks them into silence. So in situations like this you can bellow JUST SIT DOWN and actually be obeyed.

Not unreasonable to have walked out. Every parent at one time or another has a moment (more than one) where they question their life choices. I left my daughter having an almighty meltdown in the living room and locked myself in the toilet for 30 minutes. Not my finest moment. She was fine. She fell asleep actually! But from your posts this seems like less of a one off. What support do you have? This isn't your burden alone. Maybe you need someone to talk to about how you get proper support. Parenting is hard. Some posters are being unkind. It obviously is worrying you, and it's fine you did a thread about it. The fact that you did write a thread, and it wasnt a given that the other two adults there should have stepped in and helped, is a concern.

The Op did make it sound like you had left them alone and if you didn’t why even bother posting a thread

We all make piss poor decisions sometimes when under pressure. Never underestimate the stress young children can cause (or older ones at times). You’re entitled to snap every once in a while and need to walk away for your own sanity because you’re human. They were safe with other adults.

You needed a minute so you stepped away.
That's a good thing.
I had to do it many times when mine were young, just to take a deep breath and give myself a shake.

Not really sure what the issue is. The children were safe with family and you took time out for a breather to calm down which you needed.

we model to our child that if you are starting to overreact, you take yourself away to calm down. As a parent, you can’t always do this, but if another parent is available, it is often the best solution. Step away, take a moment or ten, and come back fresh.

we are a multi-generational ASD family so this is how we teach managing meltdowns. We recognize our emotions and deal with them proactively. there are more advanced techniques as the child gets older, but this is the most effective at all ages anyway.

people judging this are insane their literal dad was there. Op dad should have had one kid and you have the other. You got overwhelmed new you might snap but did the adult thing and walked away that’s a good role model!

I guess the bu is to whether you mentioned/ said it or just left them in the chaos. Grand to say everyone needs time out but we’ve had big family days out where eg mum and dad of other kids felt they needed a break and walked off/ left or my own dh just stepped away/ walked off and then you’re left in the chaos and it’s not fun!!!

Read the whole comment. Her DH 100% needs to be parenting alongside her. I put responsibility on him equally.

You p and il sounds bloody useless if you were the only one wrangling the kids.
The kids were obviously in charge of the table.

Not sure what the issue is is ? Presumably the other adults you left them with are familiar and competent trustworthy adult's ?

have a fag , gin and tonic , deep breath and go back in

don't be do hard on yourself

You're getting grief because it's like a drip feed, if you'd said my children 5 and 3 were squabbling and driving me to distraction trying to sit them in a booth for lunch, so I left them with their father and grandparents while I took 5 minutes outside. You would've got very different responses

Is someone IRL making it seem you are being unreasonable?
Is that why you are asking here?

Did you post this when you were annoyed, hence not explaining fully?

Did it really not occur to you that the OP might not have been the only parent present?

OP, you're getting some really shitty responses from very smug people here. You were obviously having a really stressful day and were at the end of your tether, as most parents of small children are at some point, and your children were with their dad and grandparents so were totally safe. You stepped outside and took a few deep breaths rather than losing your temper which is a completely healthy and sensible thing to. You've done nothing wrong at all.

'The Nanny'. Peak Mumsnet.

I hear you OP. YANBU. I went through a phase with my two where I just wouldn’t take them to cafes or supermarkets. They didn’t really bicker but they used to just get all giddy with excitement- too loud and too energetic etc and I just found it too stressful trying to take them to that kind of place so I stopped. It was a pretty short-lived phase and eventually we were able to get back to that sort of normality. Hang in there OP. Small kids are lovely but often extremely annoying 😂

I don't think that you have done anything wrong. Your pil and dh sound a bit useless. Surely one of them reached for them and moved them gently.

Anyway hopefully you have given them a little shock and they might behave a bit better.

It was hopefully a one off.

The Op was obviously struggling, walking away was ok, she was leaving the kids with their dad!!