To ask what is the largest wild animal you could fight off?

A goldfish. But only if we were on land with no significant puddles nearby.

A sloth perhaps. I could also defeat a few tardigrades if they ganged up, but no more than a half dozen.

From experience 😂if you run straight at a badger, screaming bloody Jesus, and bounce a few plant pots off it's arse, you'll win!

To clarify, said badger was eating one of my chooks, it was 3am, and I was very, very pissed off!

Ooh good question! I’ve been thinking about this since a wolf was spotted in our local forest and I thought about what I’d do if I bumped into it when out running.

Possibly a small fox or a roe deer? Definitely not a badger or a wild boar.

If we are being completely honest, most of us overestimate our fighting abilities against wild animals. Realistically, a medium sized dog or a badger is probably the absolute upper limit for an average human, and even then you would come out with serious scratches and a bruised ego. Anything larger, like a baboon, has sharp teeth and incredible muscle density that would make quick work of a human. I might pretend I could manage a badger, but in reality, a determined goose would likely make me rethink my life choices.

Something small, herbivore, with no claws or sharp teeth

Possibly a rabbit, but not General Woundwort

Like a few others, I’m thinking a little deer (not Bambi), maybe a Muntjac. Then I could hang its body for two weeks and try eating it. I can’t cook though so would need help with that part. And the skinning/disembowling.

Possibly a pigeon? Nothing with teeth.

Will now spend the day imagining all the ways small countryside creatures are superior to me 😂

I reckon I could take on a hare and win. Might need to do some nifty kick boxing to do it though.

There's a squirrel in my garden giving it large every time I hang the washing out.

I honestly feel a bit intimidated.
The barely contained rage within that small creature means s/he could probably take me down.

A rat maybe?

@BeSharpHelper
”My dh has been attacked and violated by monkeys several times”

Crumbs …

But have you seen the giant hamsters that live in a cemetery in Vienna? I’m not even making that up.

I think a wasp is about my limit. I’m definitely not one of nature’s fighters.

very much enjoying the koala fingerprint fact!

I'm quite loud so I reckon I'd scare off anything that doesn't like loud noises. I also clap really loudly. But I am weaker than a kitten and scared of everything so I'm just going to play dead and hope for the best. (Apparently my trumps can be awful too so if I could trump while playing dead, hopefully I'd be given a wide berth!)

So many questions on this thread though -

@BeSharpHelper why do monkeys hate your husband? All monkeys or just certain breeds?
@AmyDudley why were you attacked by a bird of prey? And were you injured- they are scary!!!

I'm not sure. I mean if get injured probably even if I could get the thing off me. I can't even protect myself against my cat when he gets violent when I try and take him to the vet!
And any dog could latch onto you with it's jaws?! So even domestic animals if struggle with! I'll say a fox. But it would never try and attack me?

Along long-nosed shrew - I would give its nose a big tweak and then run off quickly

A squirrel when one was unknowingly cornered in our bunny shed and attacked me out of nowhere. I did have a spade nearby which helped. Got badly scratched but that little bastard got mashed. I now have a lifelong hatred of them.

I've been charged by both elephants and rhinos (whilst in a jeep) on trips to Africa and that is underpants filling scary! Baboons are so much stronger than you would think when they are after your breakfast.

I could beat a mouse or a vole if I had to. Anything larger? Maybe a wild pony foal because they're basically cowards (but they do kick so maybe not).

Anything carnivorous and I'd just have to accept I'm its dinner I think.

Apparently a swan’s wings are strong enough to break an adult males arm.

Perhaps a duck?

I love women 😂😂

Post this on dadsnet and watch the replies of how they could easily fight a gorilla, shark, bear etc

I’m glad we’re not delusional 😂

I have had better results fighting humans rhan animals . We once had a trapped mole and tried to push/ direct it with a broom into a laundry basket so we could get it outside and it pushed back !! Nearly dropped the broom. A dog is impossible if it’s really riled up even a small dog, been slashed by a cat , bitten by a horse in the middle of my shoulder blades, chased by a field of cows . My dh has been attacked and violated by monkeys several times , they hate him for some reason. Maybe I could fight off a shrew.

I think it would have to be a prey animal not a predator. Even cats and small dogs could do you a fair amount of damage. Mind you, so can horses and cows - a swift kick before they run off and that could be the end of you. So a smallish, peaceable, prey animal, with a tendency to run away rather than fight back. Perhaps a squirrel.

Maybe a sloth?

A lot of you are only thinking of carnivores here but you’d stand a better chance against one of the nervous herbivores. I’m going to say probably one of the small to medium species of deer. Not a red deer - they’re the size of horses and could absolutely take me out in seconds. But a roe deer I could probably see off. Definitely one without antlers, and honestly even their antlers tend to be quite feeble. They could give you a kick but they don’t have a great deal of brute strength.

It's not just about size - what about the Rabbit of Caerbannog?