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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what is the largest wild animal you could fight off?

263 replies

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:14

You’re walking in the countryside. An animal resents your presence and it goes for you.

One simple question.

What is the largest wild animal you think you could successfully fight off?

It doesn’t have to be a British wild animal. Feel free to choose a Koala or a Baboon, etc. if you wish.

OP posts:
allthemind · 04/08/2026 09:51

I reckon domestic cat, realistically. Or sheep as they seem quite docile.

GentleSheep · 04/08/2026 09:49

Probably a hedgehog. I mean, I could just provoke it to roll into a ball then gently push it down a slope, and escape!

Squirrelsnut · 04/08/2026 09:48

Well, I'm embarrassed because I opened this thread with the vague idea I could possibly scare off a wolf by flailing around wildly and screaming. But now I realise that, realistically, we're talking hedgehog.

AmyDudley · 04/08/2026 09:46

I like to think I could rugby tackle a small deer.

In reality, I once picked up a mouse that was in the middle of the road, to put it in the verge, and it bit me, so I give mice a wide berth.
I've also been attacked by a large bird of prey and it won.

So the deer is probably wishful thinking and my limit is most likely a fruit fly.

Nolongera · 04/08/2026 09:44

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:39

Koalas play the long game ...

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They also have fingerprints almost identical to humans. In the very unlikely event I ever become a burglar, I will take a koala with me and let it leave prints everywhere.

BMW58 · 04/08/2026 09:42

Size isn't relevant!

A scorpion, snake or some spiders can kill you

WonderingWanda · 04/08/2026 09:41

I have squished multiple mosquito's this week, I'm not normally a killer of wildlife but these bustards were literally bleeding me dry so they deserved it!

Have previously been bitten by a squirrel but I had let my guard down, I thought it was cute and hand fed it a monkey nut, have learn my lesson there!

I once got pinned to a hedge by some horses and on another occassion licked to hysteria by some calves in a field. I suspect I am a bit of a wimp.

In all honesty anything with bigger teeth or claws than a domestic cat, rabbit or Guinea pig might be too much for me.

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:40

corblimeymlud · 04/08/2026 09:35

I think I could take on a rabbit 😂

Look at the bones!

InOverMyHead84 · 04/08/2026 09:40

Patriciastaser · 04/08/2026 09:21

There’s an escaped capybara near me, apparently. I think I could handle him.

You must be near me, keeping an eye out for Samba too. Imagine he would give quite the nasty nip.

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:39

Nolongera · 04/08/2026 09:36

A baboon could rip apart even the best cage fighter human, so it a no from me, and I think koalas can carry human VD, so again, a no from me.

Even deer are insanely powerful compared to us and use to scrapping.

Badgers are right hard bastards who look cute.

I reckon the biggest UK animal I could beat in a fight is a swan.

Koalas play the long game ...

Nolongera · 04/08/2026 09:36

A baboon could rip apart even the best cage fighter human, so it a no from me, and I think koalas can carry human VD, so again, a no from me.

Even deer are insanely powerful compared to us and use to scrapping.

Badgers are right hard bastards who look cute.

I reckon the biggest UK animal I could beat in a fight is a swan.

Sahara123 · 04/08/2026 09:36

Definitely not a badger, I don’t know where they get their cute and cuddly reputation, I think they’re scary buggers !!

CarrieMoonbeams · 04/08/2026 09:35

I am definitely one of those people who are destined to be part of the food chain - I'd be left behind if anything speedier than a slug tried to chase us down.

Similar to @LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand , I once twisted my ankle by skidding on a big worm on the path ☹️. I was in the process of stepping over it but misjudged it and stood on it, poor thing.

corblimeymlud · 04/08/2026 09:35

I think I could take on a rabbit 😂

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:31

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:30

Badgers have claws and sharp teeth!

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Yes, I was saying that despite the sharp teeth and claws, I could take one down. However, others have put me straight. It’s clear if I encountered a badger it would not end well (for me).

OP posts:
CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:31

user90756423298 · 04/08/2026 09:27

No. Without a weapon you wouldn’t last a minute with a vexed badger - they have super sharp long claws and vicious teeth, plus they are quick and made of some sort of concrete I think, the damage they do to a car! They are not at all like the fellow from wind in the willows…

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Mr. Badger's pretty sharp with a blunderbuss!

EarlofShrewsbury · 04/08/2026 09:31

I was in the local park, a place where people feed the squirrels and as a result they have no fear of humans.

I was walking through and one came up to my feet, then another, then another.

One squirrel is not scary, but when you are surrounded by five or six, it's very very intimidating.

To answer the question Rock Hyrax.

StarCourt · 04/08/2026 09:31

Patriciastaser · 04/08/2026 09:21

There’s an escaped capybara near me, apparently. I think I could handle him.

Ooh I was thinking Capybara too, not a big one though

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:31

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:28

I often contemplate why slugs are so utterly vile but snails are quite cute. The only answer is one has a little shell.

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Not a fan of snails either. The zombies of the natural world. No matter how slowly they move, they still get me.

DorsetMermaid · 04/08/2026 09:30

As someone who was stung by a bee this weekend I would say something smaller than a bee.

CelticSilver · 04/08/2026 09:30

Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:17

I think anything with claws or sharp teeth would be problematic. However, I was thinking badger.

To be clear, this is hand to hand combat. No weapons or tools.

Edited

Badgers have claws and sharp teeth!

Theworldsgonemadagain · 04/08/2026 09:29

A fox, I wouldn't mess with a badger or a swan (got bit by one as a child). Certainly not a kangaroo those things are hard as nails.

TheGirlWhoLived · 04/08/2026 09:29

So I know that sheep are above my “can I take this” level. Because one ran at me and it was abundantly clear I was the prey in this scenario.

Not a badger either because claws.

Although maybe I could do a small/medium fallow deer if it wasn’t a horned version?

NormasArse · 04/08/2026 09:28

A squirrel once jumped at me- almost 💩 myself.

So maybe a vole?

Original poster
Tsham · 04/08/2026 09:28

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 04/08/2026 09:19

I couldn't even fight off a slug. Literally. I tried to avoid one on a path and tore ligaments in my ankle.

I often contemplate why slugs are so utterly vile but snails are quite cute. The only answer is one has a little shell.

OP posts: