MIL drinking 'concern'

Is there more to this, OP? Usually it takes a lot for someone to make such a personal remark (although I appreciate MILs are the worst of the worst on MN!) so it may be out of genuine concern...How many alcoholics have said they wished someone had raised their concerns before it got so bad..?
If people are noticing then maybe it's a bigger issue than you are prepared to realise. Yes, it's embarrassing but it may be the cue you need to seek help.
Of course you may just be enjoying yourself on holiday and people are overreacting!

Must be nice to be clairvoyant.

I took it as having a lie down because he’d been drinking from early on, so not sure why your mind would go there 😁

More stats
Women face a heightened vulnerability to alcohol-induced brain damage and related cognitive decline compared to men. 1, 2]
Young-onset vulnerability: Excessive drinking in mid-life puts women at a distinct risk for early-onset alcohol-related brain damage before age 65. 1]

It depends on how much you actually drank and how it affected your behaviour. Between late afternoon and early evening could be quite a short amount of time so 4 drinks could be a lot.

I think it would be unusual for a 20 year old son to complain about a parent’s drinking unless it was actually excessive. Why would he say that otherwise?

Doubles? That would be normal.

And "about 4" doesn't meant 4, does it, it means you lost count.

So probably at least 10 shots of gin, 10 units in a few hours, far too much.

Hmmm… as the daughter of an alcoholic who was routinely made uncomfortable by his drinking at family events, I would have an honest look at your drinking and ask yourself if it might be painful and unpleasant for them.

Yes you are on holiday and yes its not really MIL’s place to tell you what to do. Who’s paid for it is irrelevant. You don’t get to override other people’s concerns about your health just because you are spending the money.

Obviously none of us were there. But if my child had indicated that they were uncomfortable with my drinking I wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand.

And I do think four G&Ts on a fairly average holiday evening is a bit excessive. Are you doing that every day?

A bit of context is needed. Just as the previous crazy thread about sisters attitude to drinking - it is hard to comment without knowing how much the OP usually drinks, what everyone else was drinking and if this resulted in any behavior change.

four drinks in a couple of hours sounds a lot to me - I do drink on family outings, although if I am at family meals with baby grandchildren I am now sticking to one small beer.

So can you please provide more info - and enjoy your holiday.

You may or may not be drinking too much.

Your MiL may or may not be a kind woman who is concerned for you. Or conversely may be a wicked old harridan, hell bent on spoiling your fun.

Your son may or may not be an interfering nuisance. Or he may be a decent lad who has been embarrassed by your behaviour.

We cant helpfully comment.

Only you know if you are drinking too much for a family gathering.

If I were you I’d ask myself is MiL normally judgemental, is my son often prone to criticism towards me?

If not, they both care a lot about you.
Today is another day. Take it on the chin and enjoy your holiday.

What did MIL actually say concerned her about your alcohol consumption?
What was your adult DS embarrassed about specifically?
At first you said "a couple" then "about 4" drinks that seems a bit vague and may be minimising.
Have good look at wether either of them have a point,did you drink more than you thought,did the amount you drank have effects that others noticed that you didnt?
Do you drink regularly ?
What do you think your MIL and DS would say if they were telling this story?

Maybe she's worried about you both but feels she can't talk to her son about something tricky to say as easily as you.

She may have a point though.

That's a lot.

@ImpossibleGermanyWell obviously. We know they were spirits.

So 4 gins would be 4 units, unless you were making them yourself and they could have been larger?

What does DS think was embarrassing?

That aside, 2 G&T’s is fuck all and they’re judgemental bastards. Tell them to pay for their own damn meals.

I would agree but then the OP goes on to say it was actually "about 4". What does "about" mean?- "about" 4 could mean anything from 4 - 6 drinks or more 🤷‍♀️

Four drinks isn't necessarily a lot and shouldn't generally be a problem. It's enough to get merry but usually enough to get slaughtered.

But that depends how strong they were, depends on the OP's tolerance levels, depends on the time period they were consumed in, and it depends on the OP not downplaying the amount and 'about four' drinks was really six or seven. Or they were so strong that it was the equivalent of eight.

The number of young people in the UK who have stopped drinking alcohol is rising all the time. A significantly large and growing number are choosing to be completely teetotal or cut back. Recent data shows that roughly 31% to 35% of young people aged 16 to 24 report drinking no alcohol at all in the past year, driven heavily by young men

I'm definitely closer to your age than your DS or MIL but you and your DH do sound embarrassing with the day drinking on a family holiday. Yes, even the family are all adults and even if you're paying.

I would not say anything, but I'd be thinking it. Would that be better? You seem focused on what your MIL said but I'd be wondering who else in my life thought my DH and I were embarrassing lushes.

Okay, so not 'a couple of gin and tonics' then? And it sounds like you might still be downplaying exactly how much you drank.

Were any of them home poured measures before you went out? Or all pub/restaurant measures?

I'd have been prepared to dismiss your MILs comment as sanctimonious, but if your son said you were embarrassing then you were probably embarrassing. And a lot more sloshed than you realised. That's not a crime, especially not on holiday but perhaps the time and the place was a bit inappropriate? A late night party, or a night out in the pub is one thing. Out for a relaxed dinner in the early evening with the family is not really the right setting for getting noticeably drunk.

I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Not for years and I never drank much. Everytime I have a check up at the GPs they warn strongly against drinking alcohol. Alcohol kills brain cells. There is no safe amount. It is a leading cause of dementia. Most of my older friends have stopped drinking. It is too dangerous. I think I am right in saying youngsters have also stopped drinking alcohol. I will try and find the statistics.

This is beside the by but gin genuinely doesn’t make me drunk, at least not in the same way wine does. I feel really fresh with gin and sound of mind, it just doesn’t have much effect on me… I always drink it at professional events for this reason.

That aside, 2 G&T’s is fuck all and they’re judgemental bastards. Tell them to pay for their own damn meals.