MIL drinking 'concern'

WTAF? 😂

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

The rudeness is off the chart.

You paid for these people to tag along and disrespect you?

Fuck that. Tell them to fix their attitude or pack up and go home.

Your H does understand, he's just decided that it's less hassle to piss you off than it is to piss her off. Change that.

If two members of your family that are with you on the holiday have commented, there is probably some truth in what they’re saying. And it doesn’t sound like your mil tried to embarrass you, she discretely pulled you aside. So I’d reflect on it personally before starting a fall out.

100% this. If you can't get shitfaced on holiday it's a pretty rum do!

I am now a big believer in clapping back in the moment. I used to be a shrinking violet but I let rip now and put people in their place as far as I am able.

Cheeky cow even thinking she has the right to pass comment.

How have you come to that conclusion? I genuinely can’t see anything that suggests he finds her drunk on a regular basis.

👍

OP, ignore all the "you've clearly got a problem and 4 drinks is excessive" judgy people.

You are on your holidays and 4 drinks imo is not a lot at all.

I go AI and I get them to fill my stanley cup to save me so many trips to the bar.

I barely drink when I'm home but I do like to let my hair down and enjoy myself on my long awaited and much needed holidays.

As long as you know when you've reached your limit and are not falling down drunk, just tipsy then f**k anyone else

Your ds said you’re embarrassing, how do you feel about that? How old is he?

Ah yeah, there is clearly more to this than OP suggests.

How tedious for her son to find her drunk on a regular basis

I was rephrasing your quote.
Problem drinkers don’t like being criticised.
Non problem drinkers ditto.
Well done on your 4 years
Im on about 15

OP - just don't drink and swim - I see you're in Devon.
So many reports of drowning this year.

She said late afternoon into the evening so over a much shorter period. 4 gins is a lot anyway but over a short length of time it's definitely a lot.
I wouldn't bat an eyelid if a friend did that occasionally (or a relative) but for there to have been comments from two relatives (plus previous mumsnet post about drinking) it suggests there could be more to the drinking. The relatives might be wrong that it's an issue but they might not be wrong.

If your DS keeps commenting on your drinking my guess is you are drinking too much. Drunken behaviour is embarrassing but the drunk doesn’t see it and won’t aknowledge it.

As always with these threads, I think the most telling part is the vagueness on the details - how many drinks, really, in how long, why the son was embarrassed, why OP has apparently ponied up the full cost of a family holiday, why MIL would express concern for a one-off, why the DH is staying out of it.

All of this, especially the DS bit. I’d not be footing the bill for another holiday anytime soon and I’d stare them down over another g and t or two tonight.

So what was it about your behaviour that your son called it embarrassing?

Did I miss a post? Because I'm seeing replies saying "I don't see the appeal of drinking like that" and "sounds like you did have quite a bit to drink", when the OP had (checks notes) four gin and tonics? Across the afternoon and early evening, so what 3pm until 8pm? Including with a meal out. On holiday.

Either someone's telling porkies about the actual amount and her behaviour or some of you have very different tolerance levels.

Being the one to buy dinner doesn't mean you have carte blanche to be a bit of a dick or embarrassing in some way (in what way? there's so much we don't know!) BUT it's also possible that the MIL and the DS are joyless buzz kills.

Pull ttwat MIL aside with DH and tell her she either stops the patronising advice or she goes home.

her son is TWENTY, four G&Ts across an afternoon and evening while on holiday and out for a meal is not ridiculous.

You say ‘dh, there will be no peace on our holiday or afterwards in our home if you don’t back me up here. I won’t put up with another comment from your mum while she treats you like everything you do is fine, don’t be a pathetic coward.’
i suggest you go out to eat and everyone can pay for themselves, including ds, dhs job to explain it to them. If he hasn’t you go pay for yourself and say dh was going to tell you.

Is this pub measures of gin or 'home measures'?! The latter will be significantly stronger than a pub measure (even a double!). If the measure is a 'home' measure, then it's likely to be more gin than a pub double measure. So your 4 gin glasses, could actually equate to more than 4 single pub measures of gin!! In which case, you have consumed way more alcohol, than you think! Have you been drinking this amount every day of the holiday?

For your 20 year old son to call you embarrassing, did something happen?! Drinking 4 single measures of gin and tonic doesn't make you 'embarrassing'! What could be called embarrassing is someone becoming loud, unfiltered, giggling over every small thing, being obnoxious etc.

I have to assume your daughter is much younger than your 20 year old son? Equally, is your MIL one of these old fashioned people, who believe women shouldn't drink alcohol and it's something that 'men do'??!

Only you know how much alcohol you consumed, if you could have behaved embarrassing or if your MIL is a stuffy mare and part of the fun police!!

2 people in your family have concerns about your drinking. Listen to them.

Your MIL is out of order, especially since she's being treated to a nice holiday.
I personally don't see the appeal of drinking like that but I can aee why you're upset. And your dh is a wet blanket. Make it very clear to him he's not keeping the peace, he's keeping his mum's peace.

Honestly it sounds like you did have quite a bit to drink - something to consider for the future if it was a one off or regular. Sound like DH was drinking a lot too. Perhaps it is something both of you need to think about? Only you know, but be honest with yourself.
However, not MiL business or DS and it sounds like it has spoiled your holiday. Therefore, given DS is now an adult too, my solution would be they don’t get to go on holiday with you in future. I’d be truthful- telling me I was an embarrassment spoiled my last holiday so I think it’s better we holiday separately from now on. Added bonus is that means you no longer have the pleasure of funding them either.