AIBU - can't take it anymore

My reply definitely changes - the overall sentiment is the same, in that if this is changeable and you have scope to communicate how much it bothers you, and the wife can therefore address it - maybe there's room to stay.

But I don't believe this is genuine. If it is, there's more to it than laid out here.

My first post was highlighting the joy and freedom of female singledom ( at an older age especially). So my advice for a female would reflect this.

I understand men statistically do better, are happier and therefore benefit significantly more than women as part of a marriage. That alone is enough to change how I answer this.

Whats the crack then OP? are you going to talk to her or just kick her sorry arse to the curb?

How were you ever sexually attracted to this woman in the first place? That's vile!

My DH cannot sit at a table without tapping his leg.

That's it.

It's that. It's absolutely crucifying me.

Tap, tap, tap.

And this is a relatively new thing.

This is such a deliberate drip feed, but I'm here for it 😂😂 well played OP, well played.

My advice remains the same, the ick is the ick and there's nothing you can do about it, lifes too short to be annoyed forever.

Tell her that her awful eating noises are grossing you out and either she controls it or the marriage is over

You have the ick and even if she packs in eating like a pig it'll be hard to bring back the attraction

You will get the usual people replying straight away with 'get out now' etc. but the grass is always greener on the other side. Divorce will upend not just your life but that of your wife and childrens' and won't necessarily leave you any happier. Just have a long hard think before you take a wrecking ball to everything.

If she is married, you may have just outed OP!

You're going to leave your wife because she eats loudly?

You get in a rage because of it?

Honestly this is ridiculous. I bet the 'other things' you're keen to leave her over are that you want a younger and more attractive model.

Well I voted YABU based on the initial post. I’m not a fan of selfish people who put themselves before their children. You made vows.
Just separate when they’ve finished their A levels. Like a normal person.
Also assuming this is some sort of gotcha bullshit though.

”Bare with”instead of “bear with” has triggered my rage!

I cannot stand loud eaters. My DH slurps his cereal but we rarely coincide tim8ngs due to work hours. God help us when we both retire! The loud belching would make me sick, I have a very strong gag reflex and there’s just no need.

Someone I know does this too. She'll just openly burp really loudly in public and doesn't care. She's also always sniffing and clearing her throat really loudly

To be fair, I have a female friend who belches loudly. It’s vile and weird, because otherwise she’s lovely.

"DP is a bit of a slobberer when eating. Loud chewing, weird gulps, throat noises, mucus in throat - the whole business. Earth-shaking belches".

Well, isn't she a joy ... 😂

I do not believe the post is genuine, but I will stick around for the laughs.

Have seen a few posts recently that seem to be a reverse of a more common scenario and then a few posts in they are like "oh sorry, did I not say partner was a woman??" 🙄 As if you might just forget that small detail.

I smell 💩

As pp have said, this is almost definitely a wind up.

That said, male or female, if a person isn't attracted to their partner anymore, doesn't respect them, doesn't want to be with them, and has tried talking about the issues and resolving them with their partner to no avail...then (outside of very specific circumstances) remaining married is just making yourself miserable for no reason.

That was probably the point of the thread, to show the advice changing.

Surely you talk to your partner about this?

Explain your not connecting as a couple and feel your drifting apart. Do you have young kids?

It’s interesting to see how the advice changes when people realise it’s a woman, not a man, being criticised.
OP, I’m not saying that your whole thread is not true… but will you admit that you deliberately avoided making it clear that you are a man and describing a woman? It seems very clear that in your original post you said ‘DP’ rather than ‘DW’, and also that you repeated ‘DP’ or ‘my partner’ at points in your post when it would have been much more natural to say ‘she’.
I know you then explained quickly in a further post that you are a man, but your original post does strike me as oddly written in order to conceal gender.

I get this from both sides. My advise is communicate. Being a women I would want my partner to sit me down or take me away for a night away so we can sit and talk. Explain everything. The good and the bad. See how she reacts. You need to give her the chance to work on herself and the relationship. If my husband did this I would snap myself together take a good look at myself and do what ever I needed to do. There is nothing worse than hearing someone has left and not even talked to the other half. Bam one day they wake up and walk away, when they checked out a year ago. Give her a chance to turn things around then In a few months or even a year if no change then you can explain yourself and she would at least have an understanding why.

Just keep it fair and reasonable, pace yourself and be civil. That’s all children need to know.

Have you said to her "actually I don't find that funny any more. Could you stop?"

🤔