AIBU - can't take it anymore

That’s perimenopause for you. Things that you’ve tolerated for years become insufferable and I spent about five years plotting divorce. I went on hrt and whilst I’m not as tolerant as I once was, I can now just quietly leave the room when he annoys me without being filled with rage.

Yes of course. Focus on having a job to support the family, co-parent and move on romantically

HRT has helped my monthly rage cycles a great deal.

But I could never cope with what you describe. I am long term single because I would not survive this without doing some damage tbh.

Your reaction is a completely proportional response. It is not a nice thought imagining having to lie there and be a recepticle for another person's bodily fluids when you feel so physically strongly against it. The reality is exactly this - as much as we can fluff it up and romanticise it. It's gross.

And all the HRT in the world won't change that for me. Also in my 40s.

If you can be as amicable as possible for the sake of the children and yourself because you'll have to stay in some form of relationship as a co parent.

So much life left to live OP, why spend it with someone you aren't madly in love with or sexually attracted to. There's no shame in wanting more for yourself than the bare minimum. Sounds like you are well past the point of wanting to leave.

If he is a decent guy and father then he will still be able to parent them well if you separate.

I assume you have had conversations with your partner because what you describe is grim

Personally I’d make a serious effort to save the relationship you have before breaking up. Find a way to talk non-accusingly to DP about the stuff that’s bothering you

If you have the ick you have the ick. Just politely end it.

The slobbering and exaggerated belches you mention are something I have only ever encountered in men, and your first post was carefully written without pronouns that would indicate your genders. So I suspect this is a wind up of some kind. Is it?

Agree

Yup. And what man lists 'really involved with the children' like its a rarity when describing the qualities of his female partner?

Yup. I can't see what the 'joke' is though, unless to make a point about discontented women being treated more sympathetically than men in a similar position. Is it that, OP?

🤔

Have you said to her "actually I don't find that funny any more. Could you stop?"

Just keep it fair and reasonable, pace yourself and be civil. That’s all children need to know.

I get this from both sides. My advise is communicate. Being a women I would want my partner to sit me down or take me away for a night away so we can sit and talk. Explain everything. The good and the bad. See how she reacts. You need to give her the chance to work on herself and the relationship. If my husband did this I would snap myself together take a good look at myself and do what ever I needed to do. There is nothing worse than hearing someone has left and not even talked to the other half. Bam one day they wake up and walk away, when they checked out a year ago. Give her a chance to turn things around then In a few months or even a year if no change then you can explain yourself and she would at least have an understanding why.

It’s interesting to see how the advice changes when people realise it’s a woman, not a man, being criticised.
OP, I’m not saying that your whole thread is not true… but will you admit that you deliberately avoided making it clear that you are a man and describing a woman? It seems very clear that in your original post you said ‘DP’ rather than ‘DW’, and also that you repeated ‘DP’ or ‘my partner’ at points in your post when it would have been much more natural to say ‘she’.
I know you then explained quickly in a further post that you are a man, but your original post does strike me as oddly written in order to conceal gender.

Surely you talk to your partner about this?

Explain your not connecting as a couple and feel your drifting apart. Do you have young kids?

That was probably the point of the thread, to show the advice changing.

As pp have said, this is almost definitely a wind up.

That said, male or female, if a person isn't attracted to their partner anymore, doesn't respect them, doesn't want to be with them, and has tried talking about the issues and resolving them with their partner to no avail...then (outside of very specific circumstances) remaining married is just making yourself miserable for no reason.

Have seen a few posts recently that seem to be a reverse of a more common scenario and then a few posts in they are like "oh sorry, did I not say partner was a woman??" 🙄 As if you might just forget that small detail.

I smell 💩

"DP is a bit of a slobberer when eating. Loud chewing, weird gulps, throat noises, mucus in throat - the whole business. Earth-shaking belches".

Well, isn't she a joy ... 😂

I do not believe the post is genuine, but I will stick around for the laughs.