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Original poster

I can't stand my new home

208 replies

WannabeWriter1988 · 03/08/2026 10:42

Hi all, my first post and looking for some clarity on if I am in the wrong here.
We lived for a long time in a small village that was a happy place to live with friendly neighbours, lovely community and beautiful surroundings but had to move due to landlord selling up.
We moved counties to be closer to family but from the moment I viewed this house I didn't feel like it could be a home. When we were accepted for it, I told my partner, my family and friends that I didn't like it and they all said I was being silly and precious and would get over it. But I haven't.
The house is nice, lots of light and space but it's very built up and both overlooked by and overlooking a large number of other flats and houses. There is no nature or nature noise (literally not a single spider), it's never really dark, the people are really loud and it feels like living in a fish bowl for people. I feel desperately unhappy, I can't sleep, I feel anxious all the time and everyone I tell just says I'm being stupid. Is this just me or do other people feel like this?

OP posts:
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Original poster
WannabeWriter1988 · 03/08/2026 11:11

Thank you all for the kind words and suggestions and to know that it's not just me being unreasonable and silly. There are some really good ideas to try in comments but just hearing that people understand has actually helped so much.

OP posts:
Cuppachuchu · 03/08/2026 11:08

Why didn't your partner take account of your feelings before even moving into this place?
Did you have no say at all in the matter?

Greekgoddess2000 · 03/08/2026 11:08

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks except you and your partner - stop asking others for their opinions.

personally, I couldn’t live somewhere like this, I need space around me and to not feel crammed in so totally understand this, but not everyone feels the same - which is ok, all that matters is what you and your partner want.

Meadowfinch · 03/08/2026 11:06

Yanbu. I grew up in rural Wiltshire, moved to Warwick to be with ex and hated every second of it. It was never dark, never quiet or still. Endless planes and lorries. When I asked where I could go for a walk in woodland I was told to drive 17 miles! It was horrendous. I called where we lived the exercise yard.
I lasted 12 months and ended up on ADs, which I dumped the day I left (escaped). Some people just need space & green, and the midlands is definitely not my natural environment.

Can you improve your space? Fill your garden with shrubs and bird boxes? Build a pond? Shut out the noisy neighbours? At least you are only renting and can move fairly easily.

parietal · 03/08/2026 11:04

it is always unsettling to move to a new place. i found the first 2 weeks in a new house very confusing.

but you can make the new place yours. think of one or two simple things you can do to claim the space - a small plant in a pot, a bird bath for the birds - once you get started, any space can become nice.

how about putting up fabrics / shade sails so you don't feel you are in a fish bowl and have a private space with a variety of colours?

Original poster
WannabeWriter1988 · 03/08/2026 11:01

longtompot · 03/08/2026 10:56

@WannabeWriter1988 Is this going to be a long term home, or will you be able to move somewhere or to something you would like in 5 years?
In the mean time, could you plant some trees and shrubs into your garden to shield the neighbours and bring in wildlife?
My garden has a very imposing block of flats at the end, only two storeys, but the one that looks over our garden has a balcony. It should have been a Juliette balcony but somehow they built it without anyone noticing and by the time we moved in it had been in over 7 years and there is nothing that can be done about it now. The flat has had various occupants over the 10 years we've been here, one was particularly annoying and liked to broadcast his phone conversations for the whole neighbourhood to hear. Anyway, we have planted trees to block the view from the balcony into our garden and also into our dds bedroom and it is heaven now.

I think we could look to move on but my partner doesn't want to and my family think I'm being silly so I don't think I'd have much support for it. Unfortunately, there is nowhere to plant trees as the garden is tiny and all concrete gravel. I could get some little plants for the garden which might look nice but, I know it sounds petty and selfish, but it feels so pointless as I can't hear any birds or see any proper sunshine or anything

OP posts:
Buscobel · 03/08/2026 11:00

Presumably you’re renting, so can you look for another rental that feels more comfortable for you?

longtompot · 03/08/2026 10:56

@WannabeWriter1988 Is this going to be a long term home, or will you be able to move somewhere or to something you would like in 5 years?
In the mean time, could you plant some trees and shrubs into your garden to shield the neighbours and bring in wildlife?
My garden has a very imposing block of flats at the end, only two storeys, but the one that looks over our garden has a balcony. It should have been a Juliette balcony but somehow they built it without anyone noticing and by the time we moved in it had been in over 7 years and there is nothing that can be done about it now. The flat has had various occupants over the 10 years we've been here, one was particularly annoying and liked to broadcast his phone conversations for the whole neighbourhood to hear. Anyway, we have planted trees to block the view from the balcony into our garden and also into our dds bedroom and it is heaven now.

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