I can't stand my new home

Absolutely, hence username. We have even been warned by pest control to make sure all fallen fruit from trees is collected up so as to remove food source.

You can get murals etc to put on outside walls. It won't bring wildlife but would create a more colourful space and if you choose nature ones, would give an impression of a garden

Yeah that would make me rat central! And REALLY popular with local pigeons...

Do you not get furry things with long tails 🐀

Honestly, I think you can do both. You can decide you need to move, while making it immediately more bearable with seeds sprouting on windowsills, big flowering plants in pretty tubs, bird feeders filled with seeds and nuts and water. That is minimal effort and cost for a big improvement. The creatures may not come immediately. But they will.

I throw out every last crumb from our house straight onto the patio. Never goes in the bin. All sorts of insects and birds come to feed.

This sort of thing corner planter

It doesn't sound ideal but do what you can. You can get a big half-barrel or similar sized pot and plant a small tree in it. Build or buy some deep troughs or raised beds to run along the edges of the plot, however small it is, and plant shrubs that grow tall at the back and flowers that spill down at the front so the planters are brimming with life. Choose plants that attract butterflies, and maybe some with seedheads or berries for birds. In a deep-enough raised bed, you can even plants small fruit trees like apple, pear, fig. Build trellis at the back of these raised beds/planters, to increase the potential for screening buildings that overlook you, and train clematis and roses and honeysuckle up them.

Hanging baskets either side of front and back doors, windowsill planters under every window - if you have no outer sills you can buy ones that drill into the mortar and are fixed beneath the windows.

Put up freestanding bird feeders/tables filled with seeds, nuits and fat balls, and a bird bath. They will come!

Inside, grow tomatoes, herbs, bulbs on your windowsills.

He would move if I pressed the issue

Do that then. I would't spend loads on the current house, put it away for the next one. If you won't stand up for yourself OP, no one else will.

We moved into this fishbowl house - because it was what we could afford - three storeys on a new build estate overlooked on all sides.

Dunelm cheap daylight blinds everywhere - lets light in blocks out the neighbours

Big pots - the garden is too small, and the soil is too bad for gardening, so I have big tree pots (cheap on Amazon) with cherry trees, climbing rose bushes, tall standard roses (all with height to block neighbours), then smaller pots with a variety of flowers - also a pergola with a canopy to block out the neighbours. I watched a YouTube video on how to have a lovely small garden with pots alone and was inspired.

Bug hotels /bird boxes and feeders - everywhere in the garden

Indoors I have a nature live cam on, like the fish doorbell or a national park and have it go through my active noise-canceling earphones.

Indoor plants everywhere (I kill them often - but am persevering)

Nice wax burner smell - makes me happy. I go for zesty nature citrus

You would be even more trapped, attached to a place you potentially don"t like by a mortgage debt.

What do you mean no sun? Is it a North facing garden? I live in a semi detached edge of city, small garden. We get sun all day, have lots of insects and nature as we have grass and a tree. It was a poor choice getting a concrete north facing garden. You should have stuck to your guns and said no. Your friends and family don't have to live there, always go with your own gut. Look to move when you can.

Firstly, there are plenty of Facebook groups showing how to make the most of small gardens in - The Yarden Garden and Tiny Secret Gardens are just two that spring to mind. Start working on your outdoor space and you'll feel more positive. Get some bird feeders up too.

Find your local parks. Find walks that take you past interesting houses and gardens. Explore local cafes.

I went from 2 acres in the middle of nowbere to a city apartment with a backyard. You make the best of what you have.

With your next move would you be able to buy?

Would your partner actually object if you found a house in roughly the same area that was more comparable to your old house?

Was it the only place you could find in the area you wanted to move to? What is it that your husband and family like that you don't?
When you say there is no sun shine do you mean literally?

It sounds awful. I’d start looking around for other rentals in more rural surroundings. All the plant pots in the world wouldn’t make this somewhere I could live.

Speaking from experience, if you didn't love it from day one, you might struggle to ever love it.

We'd been delighted with our last house when we viewed it, however on the day we took possession, the moment we unlock the door and went in, I had a sinking feeling that we'd made a terrible mistake. Empty, it looked awful and unwelcoming, but it was too late to go back, with the sale concluded and removal van outside with all our stuff.

I kept telling myself that once we redecorated and made it our own it would be fine, but I it never was. After a couple of months I confessed to XH that I actually hated it and thankfully he felt the same. We'd started going out a lot more just because the house made us miserable, and we put it back on the market before a year was through. Because no matter what we did, it never felt like home, or even a pleasant place to be.

If you are struggling this much with it OP, I think you need to ignore what your family say, talk to your DH about how much it depresses you, and start looking at other place to live. Improving what you can in this place won't make you feel any better about it when you can't change the surrounding space.

Trellis and climbers, if you can’t spread out spread upwards.
3 long bamboo canes in a large pot….lots of pots.
make a small oasis the wildlife will find you.

Yanbu, op, except that you ask people around you how you should feel instead of looking inward to notice and listen to how you actually do feel.
As you try to manage the house situation, try to also recognize your own inner voice. No one should tell you you are just being silly and selfish. But if they do, you don't have to listen to them or use their thoughts in place of your own!
Other people want their own things-- maybe they wanted you nearby, or they have homes like that and don't want to validate your rejection of that kind of home/living. Maybe they genuinely don't mind never seeing a bird. They are not you, though.

Sounds awful and I would hate it too. Why don’t you compromise and give it a year or trying to do the garden etc and then move if you still hate it

"i am utterly miserable here" is also justification whjch should be enough tbh

Would only benefit FTB
And they aren’t paying stamp duty anyway!

You've had lots of good ideas so I just want to ask - is there a park nearby? Can you go out and get your fix of nature and space? Maybe walking the dog you're going to get to add life to your home... ;-)

Would it be possible/would you be interested in getting an allotment?

And I'd embrace the opportunity to create a little haven for wildlife in whatever patch of sun and whatever windowboxes you can. If you build it, they will come x

Pop stamp duty on the seller, that will make some difference, asking prices still way too high though.

This is a very good idea. Most places are a little overlooked, but a huge parasol makes a big difference too, to create a private outside space, fairy lights, a couple of weightless Lafuma deckchairs, olive trees in pots... a small portable speaker to beam a radio show or Spotify. Can even sit out in winter, for morning coffee.