MIL dilemma on holiday

Can we stop with the "sleep training is cruel" bollocks?

Sleep training saved me, my child and my family. It made me a far better parent in 3 days because I was rested and not being woken up every hour while working full time.

Yes it's not nice to listen to but the odds are baby is grizzling more than outright balling.

I really feel for you. I think the MIL / DIL relationship can be such a difficult one, especially if you disagree with parenting styles and decisions. My kids are teenagers so I’m yet to be a MIL, but I’ve observed many a tricky mil / dil relationship. I think the maternal grandmother can often give advice without damaging the relationship, but often not the paternal grandmother (if I’ve described those relationships correctly!!). It’s not fair but it’s true in many cases. My son was not a big crier but my daughter cried a lot and just wanted to be held by me the whole time. I didn’t leave her to cry. She turned out very well and we adore each other.

Sleep training is cruel. As an adult if I cried and cried and no one came I definitely wouldn't feel ok, I would probably go to sleep because I was exhausted from crying and be very very upset the next day. Bad for an adult, horrid for a baby.

Sleep training like that is just neglect that causes stress. Enough stress and neglect makes babies quiet if that’s what you’re trying to achieve? All the babies found in Romanian orphanages in the 90s were very quiet.

Agree with this I never let mine cry but then they were excellent sleepers….was this because I didn’t let them cry??

I used to feed change and cuddle my babies and put then to bed and leave them to it to self settle. Hardly barbaric. They are all loving loveable adults. I dont think id have done it on holiday in an unfamiliar envireonment though

Cry it out sleep training is cruel. There are studies that show how it negatively affects babies. All they learn is that no one cares and no one will come.

I would have hoped I had taught my children better than to sleep train. Good on your MIL (I have an awful MIL) for her objections- she sounds like a good egg!

Sleep training on holiday does not sound like a good idea but I don’t know what your MIL said

It sounds like you're the MIL and your child and their partner have really let you down and their child down by showing such a cruel streak. I'd struggle to stay on holiday with them.

I would think it's awful. Thought that Gina or whatever it was craze died out a long time ago. Remember that NSPCC advert about the babies who stopped crying because they learned no one would ever go to them? I was young, wasn't even a mum and it made me cry. Not ok to disturb other people, and I'd never have left my kids crying.
Maybe your MIL is older and was told to do it? Seem to remember news articles about mums being pushed to do it, and all their instincts saying pick her up.

I wouldn’t personally let them cry in this situation. If you’re the mum - your baby, you decide. If you’re the MIL - don’t go there, whatever the mum says goes.

Letting your baby fall asleep feeling safe and secure each night is more important than teaching them that nobody comes when you cry.

I never let my kids cry. But I had them in a routine from first night home and after a few weeks they got it and went to bed still awake without problem (my DD took a few weeks longer as she had reflux).
If my baby cried I’d wait a minute or two see if they self settled otherwise I’d go to them. After they dropped their overnight feeds they rarely woke at all.

This has absolutely no basis in fact.

I’m currently lying on the floor near the travel cot containing my toddler in our holiday cottage. I will stay put until I know she’s asleep. At home toddler is left to her own devices after we’ve said goodnight to her and we only go in if she’s upset. I wouldn’t leave her to be upset and lonely in an unfamiliar place and I would rather know she’s settled before I slope off downstairs to open a bottle of wine.

No idea if you’re being unreasonable or not as your OP is unclear but that’s my stance on this issue.

A baby literally does not have the part of the brain that can regulate its emotions developed yet. Letting them cry is not teaching them anything other than that they are not secure. This cruel and demented sleep “training” is the start of insecure attachment later in life. So ignorant and nasty. Don’t fucking do it. If your MIL thinks it’s ok, tell her to mind her own business and ignore her stupid ass. It’s not her choice.

Not sure if you’re the mother or the grandmother in this scenario but either way, I think sleep training in the form of leaving the baby to cry alone is barbaric in a familiar situation for the child, let alone in a strange place on holiday. No way in hell would I do this with my own children, nor allow anyone else to

It wasn’t barbaric. We both needed sleep for work and he slept much better after 3 days too. Everyone was happier

I sleep trained my son and it worked within 3 days. I wouldn’t do it on holiday though. Other people’s sleep is more important then and small children’s sleep often goes pear shaped away from home

So don’t sleep train? I think it’s barbaric, personally.

Who does sleep training on holiday?

Cry it out is barbaric BUT if you are the MIL you probably need to tread a bit carefully here

Bloody hell, are people still leaving their babies to cry for long period of time in the name of sleep training?

I thought people were more aware of the harm caused by cry it out.