Not to invite this child to the party?

The mum of mixed twins is being ridiculous. Her children are individual human beings. They will have different friends, interests, invitations going forward in life - as they should!

This is the twins mum's issue, not yours OP. It's her choice to force her dd to miss out.

I have boy/girl twins and age 7 was a while ago for them now, but pretty sure at that age my son wouldn't have wanted to go to one of his sister's friend's birthdays, unless it was a big thing with lots of his friends. And as their mum, I would have appreciated some one-on-one time with my son, as it is difficult to get that when your children are the same age. It may have been different for mine as they were in different classes at primary.

They both tended to be closer to the same sex friends though. I never had an issue with wanting them to conform to stereotypes and quite happily took my son to preschool in a princess dress when he was playing dressing up with his sister at home (I must say he looked gorgeous!) even though the preschool staff raised their eyebrows which I found a bit off. But they just naturally gravitated towards friends of the same sex by the age of 7.

Invite the girl only (making it clear it is only for her e.g. framing it clearly as a girls party) and if the mum says no, that's on them. The mum is treating them as a job lot, when they're two separate individuals but that's on her not you.

Just invite the girl. The mother is being ridiculous. My dd’s long time bff is a girl with a twin brother. Her dm has never insisted him on being included. Twins have a right to their own lives and friendships.

My DD also just turned seven and had an all girls party. Quite a few of her friends have done the same. Just invite the girl. The mum can deal with any rows or upset at home.

I have a feeling if you invite the twin girl, the mother will bring the twin boy too. Imagine the scene at the front door.

Some parents are thick as shite.

No.

Girl only.

They are twins, not one individual.

Just invite who your daughter wants. The twin mum is setting them up for a lifetime if disappointment if she thinks both kids need to have and do everything the same.

I wouldn’t worry about it, you’ve invited the girl, if she doesn’t go for whatever reason, nothing you can do, Though it’s understandable to be a little sad about it for the girl, but nothing you can do.

If you had said to your DD, she could just invite 6 classmates this year, boys or girls, she could have decided to invited the boy and not the girl, or maybe the girl and not the boy, or maybe none of them. Not accepting the invitation because one twin was invited and the other wasn’t is ridiculous.

This.
It’s been a long time since I hosted a child’s party but my kids only every invited their friends, not the whole class although one time the little sister of one girl did come too because dad dropped them off as mum was at work and he didn’t know any different. It wasn’t a problem as there was plenty of food and a spare goody bag…..actually she was a delightful little girl.

No.

Finding it hard to believe this dilemma actually exists.

Turning 7. What does the age matter though, DD has said who she wants to invite

This. There's always one.
She doesn't get to tell you and your DD how to organise your DD's party and who should be on the guest list.
That's rubbish.
Stand your ground. If she argues, suggest its a great opportunity for her to have one on one time with her son. If you wanted to be magnanimous, (she's going to be in your orbit for a while) you could invite both twins for a school holidays playdate but stand your ground on the party.

I wish I could have given myself this advice years ago.. we've had some awkward, annoying times, giving into other mum's party demands. They were never particularly polite or grateful afterwards that the arrangements had been altered for them . And it never came from friendly mums anyway.

If she's a complainer, she's going to complain whatever you decide, even if the boy comes to the party (which he may not enjoy that much or feels like the odd one out ) you'll probably have to hear about that too.... so just do things the way you want as you will get complaints either way.

What age is your daughter? I’d assume 12 at least if it’s a pamper party?

Lolol

Twin mum here. I have 2 girls but if only 1 got invited to a party because it was her friend and not her twins friend I would be happy to take just that one. In fact I would be quite happy they have their own friends! And actively encourage this. Although this hasn't happened yet as they are only 4.

Their mum is ridiculous, now YOU don't be ridiculous! Girls only on the invite.

Plus girls-only is what she’s asked for.

^This. Your DD wants girls only, so you can't invite the boy.

If his mother chooses to not allow the girl to attend, that's her choice.

Because it’s really cruel to exclude just a few children from something they’ll all be talking about at school

Depends how many are invited, doesn't it. Inviting 6-10 out of 30 isn't 'excluding just a few'.

Not every parent can accommodate a whole class party. Should their child not have a party at all?

I'm a single boy/girl twin mum and I'd be mortified if my kids weren't invited to places based on them being twins and our family make up!